As the sun rises
And the world comes alive
I can't but help breathe a sigh

Everything that was once dormant is now lively
Dark turns light
The cold embrace is slowly letting It's grip go
And the blood in my veins begins to flow

The darkness held me captive for too long
I lost my strength, I no longer feel strong.
But I will surely continue to go on

my delusional mind has committed vacancy
for not quite a while, yet i've grown dull of it.
three to four years ago i was always thinking
don't get me wrong, i think twice as much now
but not like how i used to, just empty thoughts.
i've had people come and go, renovating areas
leaving permanent fixtures
that unfortunately, cannot be replenished
i just hope for a full remodeling someday
a new outlook on this whole forsaken catastrophe
mistakenly, im just lucidly dreaming
a thriving desire of mine that's too good to be true.

- m.n.

Reading back through diary entries...
Old narratives of true love
Before pino noir and paychecks...

I've never felt so far from myself.

I've realized: Writing has become my profession, and no longer my pastime.

Somewhere a clock is ticking
And your brother has passed.
His last words were your name.
He was afraid and in the dark
So he pulled the covers over his head,
Just to get away.

Somewhere a clock is ticking
And your father is gone.
He fought demons and diseases.
He lived in a hellhole for years
While you sought a bottle
Just to get away.

Somewhere a clock is ticking
But you'll never see them again.
It ticks off the years
And the grey in your hair,
It tells you to give in
Just to get away.

say wide thy heart
(i shall enter it the sea)

i shall,
by armies of lips,
forge into its miles
deepest ruts of burning neatness.

i shall,
in it,
very softly sow
1 seed.


(which by shall erupt
thy paleset coffin
into the carefullest of stars; reeling

              ).


and shall,
it by erupting,
become the sea
(entering it)


                   of me.