Always at war with myself
Constantly self-loathing
Lacking in confidence
Blaming my problems
On everybody else
Shutting people out
Is what I'm best at
I'm **** at showing emotion
Although sometimes
My smile cracks
And my pain shows
In my sunken eyes

It's such a pain
Just waking up
Every day
I act like
I'm fine
When in reality
I'm far from
That state of mind
I hide my body
Except my face
So I can fool everyone
With that lie of a smile
That I always embrace
Even though my thoughts
Are always of suffocation
And painful death
No one would know
Because the pain I feel
I never show and tell any soul

I could be smiling so bright
As I'd constantly think
Of the ways I could die
I could laugh out loud
And think of those razor blades
That I'd love to use on my pale skin
But you'd never suspect me thinking of this
Because, there's a lie of a smile on my face

Constantly triggered, yes I am indeed
But that's something you'd never see
Because that's the part of me
That I hide away from every soul
The ones I love mean more to me
Than my own tragic self