Whiskey has become my new obsession
I drown and drown in its meaningless stinging
I am lost but always found
Drowning somewhere beneath the ground

The whiskey burns within me
It is coursing through my blood
My heart is beating one last time
Before I crash to the ground

Whiskey has become my best worst enemy
Its always ready for my cries
The bottle fits my hands so nicely
I cant resist its alluring smile
Such tragedy
That this bottle of whiskey
Became my best friend

Last night was full of hope and desire
But then I started to cry
Because even the greatest things have flaws
And guess what? You are mine.

I have tried it all
To get the monsters in my soul
Smoking them out
Drowning them in alcohol
Poisoning them with pills
Putting them to sleep with green happiness
Bleeding them out
And yet every night they whisper
I am here
I will always be here
As long as you are here

i wrote you a 4 page letter,
but I sealed it away in two envelopes
and a roll of tape
because once you read those words
you can not unread them
and you are already so
upset - I do not dare lay
this upon your shoulders.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but none of the sentences came out right
All I really wanted to say was
"I love you, please remember me,
do not leave,
it’s not that I want you to be with me
it’s just I don’t want you to be with anyone else”
and it took me 4 pages to say it.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but then i saw tears struggling down your cheeks
the suns light reflecting off of them
and i will not make it worse
so I folded it in two envelopes
and one roll of tape
and I shoved it in my
3rd dresser drawer down.
I wrote you a 4 page letter,
but you’ll never see it.
On the second page it says,
" I just want you to be happy"
So I shoved it in my 3rd dresser drawer down.
I can already feel the regret in my blood,
burning red hot
while I watch you go.

Whilst I lay in the dark,
Wind whistles against
Rickety
Windowpanes.
I used to sneak out then in those.
With your aftertaste on my lips
And fingers still trembling-
Closing the latch,
And climbing into
Empty sheets.
You were:
First kiss,
Not first touch.
You were:
Freshly picked roses,
And numb hands.
You were:
Everything good
On paper.
Only that.

I have found
that the most heartbreaking thing
is an unknown
last kiss.

chapped lips
locked up,
will no longer be the story tellers
carrying me to sleep
on drunk nights.

no more twig arms
keeping me close.

nor a simple smile,
to be greeted with.

as it did a year ago,
another slit,
with each thought of you.

I hate myself
for missing you.