Sitting alone
In a dark room
The clock on the wall
An hour slow
The recurring theme
Dark chocolate legs
Calling me
Couldn’t even take my first sip
Of Electric Jellyfish
Before they disappeared

Just because you ******* ****
You always have

I just drove by
where you took
your last breath

it's been a while
I'd forgotten
not of you
just the place

where we planted the tree
in your memory

at least you truly lived
by our drunken motto
carpe diem
and you died
doing what you loved

I'm sure you're raising hell
wherever you are
hopefully not there

and I'll never forget
our promise to
not let time or distance
grow between us

so cheers my friend
until we meet again
and pick up where we left off
wherever you are

save a seat for me

It’s been so long
A distant memory now
Erased digitally (******* box.net)
But distinct in my mind
No longer to be recalled
Except in my memory
So beautiful it is
So beautiful you were
Never to be erased (******* box.net)
Because true beauty
Will stand the test of time

There’s always something
Something lost
Something gained
Something desired
Something refrained

Something is nothing
And something is everything
Don’t you see
Can’t you feel?
Anything?

I feel
Everything
Sometimes nothing
Sometimes every little thing…

Sometimes
I have to live in the shadows
to be able to see the the light

Such brief pleasure
Your presence
The smell of your hair, your neck
I hold on for dear life

So many things left unsaid, undone
Pages unturned
Questions unasked
The curves of your body unexplored

The sensation of you, molded into me
In the late morning hours
In a strange place, an unknown bed
Left to remain in the imagination

The fear of feeling something
Got the better of me
The fear of feeling THAT feeling
Paralyzed me

I never thought the day would come
And there she was
Sitting there in front of me
More elegant and beautiful
Than I had ever dreamed

8,870 miles (14,272 km)
1,339 days
For her to be within reach
She was everything
That she had led on to be....and more

To see
the light in her eyes
To feel
The touch of her hand
Was the best gift
She could've given me

beauty is simplicity
if you are a woman
you are beautiful
behind or underneath
whatever you choose
to hide behind
even if it is bare skin
if you are unsure
return to the top
and read again
don't hide
be you
tangled hair,
baggy sweater
I don't care
no amount of Ruby Red #7
hairspray, or spandex
will change who you are
or what makes you beautiful
less is more, some may say
I say, some things
are best left
to the imagination
only to be revealed
by the right combination
of cheap wine and
imitation candle light

A secret among friends
Amongst myself
Since you know not how I feel
So here goes...

How I feel....
You're a flower
at first bloom
Quietly beautiful
Commanding nothing of no one

But sure of yourself
and your beauty
Needing nothing
from anyone

I'd give you the love
I share for you, if I could
Not that you need it,
But you deserve it,
For you are an amazing woman
Unappreciated I fear

You are
what a woman should be
confident, strong,
a diamond in the rough
Though not so rough
Quite refined, as I see

From my perspective
You are a perfect gem
Colorless (though colorful to me)
Cut (perfectly)
Clarity (uncomplicated unlike most)

In all your glory
In all your beauty
You are perfect to me
...melanie

It's funny
I was just thinking
how I used to wake  
every morning
excited to see your response
to my B.S from the night before
Thanks to the 15 hr time diff.
Ah, the good ol days,
before life got in the way
I still go to the cafe
to start each day, when I can
A habit bred of
such different times
Still waiting,
hoping
for someone, something
to slap me, to wake me
from this dull dream
But every day
it's the same routine,
the same deafening
monotonous silence
The same dream,
teetering
on the cusp of a nightmare,
each day, day after day
Exactly the same
as the one before
a sick joke
like Groundhog Day

her eyes were captivating
full a fire and sensuality
almost as dark as onyx
depth unknown
her lips were moving
making sound
I didn't hear a word
I was too busy being mesmerized
by their elegant movement
a ballet of perfect form

I tried not to let my gaze linger
to let it be obvious
she kept turning
looking my direction
making it near impossible
as if only to test me
to torture me
knowing the invisible barrier
between 23C and 24E
would keep desire at bay

I watched as she consumed
One scotch after another
on a 10:15 flight to paradise
It was 10:30 am
my kind of woman
the invisible barrier
was like the Berlin wall
she was using a toothpick
to try to bring it down

Vé con dios.
Te veré en el otro lado.

The idea seems silly
Getting over you
Considering the fact
that I've never been under you
or you under me
for that matter

you fit perfectly
in my arms
your small framed body
blends seamlessly with mine
like the sunrise
gently overtaking
the calm morning sky
slowly warming
the winter morning
setting fire to the sky
warming my body
with the heat
of a thousand suns
finally thawing
my heart and mind
from a long
winter's hibernation
I'll be thinking about you
Thinking about me

We are like two celestial bodies
On different orbits
That keep us apart
In a beautiful elliptical dance
Every now and then
We collide
And return to our orbits
That pull us further and further apart
Only to repeat the cycle all over again

I undressed you
in my mind
You spoke to me
with your eyes
We danced that way
delicately
Time after time

I lie here soaking in your warmth
fighting off the chill of reality
tracing circles around your areola with my finger
wondering how I got here
and how I will escape
love's indifference is not welcome here
and neither am i this time
Lusts veracity had been fed
the fetter of desire has been shed

A momentary fervor
Wipe sweat from brow
Think,
Think harder
Dream, daydream
Of fingers on flesh
Eyes a gaze with fire
Hearts ablaze with desire
No reading minds
Or between the lines
Just simple wants and needs
And everything in between
Just you
Just me
Warm summer night
No sheets
Just skin
I dream of simplicity

I wait

"Time waits for no one"

I watch

I think

I analyze
I calculate

Risk
Reward
Profit
Loss

I wait

"Time waits for no one"

These things take time
They don't happen overnight

"Time waits for no one"

*******, some things are worth waiting for
I wait

"Are you happy?"

Things could be worse

"That's not an answer"
"Are you happy"

No
It could be worse

"Life is short"
"You only get one shot"
"Time is precious"
"You're not getting any younger"

*******
I wait.  
Some things are worth waiting for

"Time waits for no one"

She moves free like the breeze
Going wherever it takes her
Floating high above life
Above the complexities
Her mind follows gracefully
She speaks only art
Through soft pink lips
She shapes and creates
Floating sculptures, art exhibits
They flow from her mouth
Elegantly crafted and vivid
But the real art
The best made sculpture
Can be found
In the curve of her hips

true love litters my life
my list of highs and lows
for certain the genesis
of the highest highs
and lowest lows
as with anything,
the higher the climb
the further
and more painful
the fall

love is a living creature
it needs to fed
to be nourished
but even when nourished,
it is infinitely fleeting,
dying

I've always tried
to cherish it while I have it
and brace for the loss
when it's fate seems uncertain
that's all I've found to do

it is unpredictable
it can't be tamed
or held captive
a wild beast
relentless in its thirst

I've never done it myself
but I liken it to
the sensation of cutting

painful
destructive
controlling
.
.
.
addictive
comforting
fulfilling
elating

But in reverse order

I dreamed of you the other night
in my drunken stupor
you were on the top of my mind
conquering what few brain cells
still had the power to resist
a quaalude on the tip of my tongue
you tempted me again
like a ghost from the grave

it's been over a year since I've seen you
spoken to you
and 30 seconds since I last thought of you
as usual
I've never spoken of you
to anyone, except here
this black hole of anonymous misery
this congregation of broken hearts,
lost souls, and lonely *****,
just like me

I confessed you, us
to a friend
the one and only that remains
that I've also not seen in a year
the only one I've not let slip away
walk away
off into the oblivion of my memory
like I did you

I confessed my crime
my untruth,
spoken time and time again
I couldn't bear to let the words
the lie
slither over my teeth again

my confession of
my crime of heart
of mind
my **** was the real culprit
the ringleader, the conspirator
but my heart and mind
suffer the punishment
of solitary confinement

left only to reminisce of
innuendo, sweet daydreams,
sore muscles and drenched sheets

Dear __,

I'm sorry
Its not your fault
that I feel the way I do
I'm sorry
that things can't be different
I'm sorry for pushing you away
That is the my way of coping
Its not what I want
I want you

I know you have
your own way of coping
I don't fault you for it
even though it hurts
I'm sorry for trying
to find reasons to hate you
That too is a coping mechanism
Its easier not to love someone
when you hate them

You're not a bad person
You're a wonderful person
With a kind heart
and room for the whole world inside of it
I hope you save the world
You will save the world
You saved me
You're the beacon
that reminds me
There is still something
beautiful that remains
beyond the chaos

Thank you
Thank you for showing
me how to feel again
Something
Anything
I don't care
I'm just happy
to be alive and
feeling something

You are unbearably irresistible

You can have anything you want if you ask with your eyes.

You're cute when you're excited

I would stare into your eyes for hours if I could.

I love talking with you and hearing about your perspectives and experiences.

You have the perfect blend of innocence and sensuality.

I bet you look really hot in your running outfit

I think about you all the time

I love how I can have a full blown conversation with your eyes without you saying a word

I try to force you into my dreams by visualizing me staring into your eyes before I fall asleep at night

You have an amazing figure. I look forward to jean Fridays.

I want to kiss every inch of your body starting at your ankles and working up to your earlobes.

I'll never forget the first time I felt your touch.

The skin on your hands is so soft I can't help but think about how soft the rest of your body is.

I constantly fight the urge to run my fingers through your hair

The thought of what your naked body would have felt like against mine if i had said yes will haunt me forever.

I love how short you are. Its really ****. I wish you would wear flats all the time.

I get aroused just thinking about you in a nonsexual way.

Thinking about how wet you were is torture.

I look for reasons to get  close enough to you to smell your hair.

I like when you "accidentally" touch my leg with yours when you sit next to me.

Sometimes if I try hard enough I can still taste your lips.

I didn't want to change clothes or shower because I liked being able to smell you on me.

every morning, like clockwork
together, a pair so perfect
laughing, smiling, carrying on
every morning, they come together
every morning, they go together

this morning, he left alone
this morning, she sat alone
staring blankly
into the nothingness she sees before her
the emptiness across the table

there were two, now there is one
it's too late now, the damage is done

when did she go
will she return to me
sweet maiden of the sea
has she been beaten and battered
by old mother nature
she's got a temper, the old hag
full of spite at times
savoring the taste
of revenge on her tongue
even when it's not justified

has she been washed clean
clean by the sea
clear of mind
clean of me
only the wind knows
I listen tirelessly
for it calling her name
perhaps the moon knows
always watching down over us
omnipotent and untelling
with hushed lips
do you see her?

the daily parade by
the homeless shelter chow line
APD central booking exit
every day a new sight to see
men fighting
children crying
women dying
one needle, one vein,
one hit at a time
nevermind
the salty tears
of a dying mind
long ago lost
but never known
enough to be forgotten
nevermind
the hunger pangs
of the crying child
too young to know
this is only the beginning
of the pain to come
the pin ***** of the needle
as it breaks the skin

winters's waning again
inspiration eludes me still
much more elusive
than this time last year
it's time to get up again
wake up and smell the coming
the coming of life, of love, of spring
a new beginning
a new start of the old, perhaps
time to reach out and grasp
that which is just out of reach
instead of sitting idly, watching
as the coming goes
and the present passes
the past engulfs everything
time slows for no one