I buried my heart on the grass
covered dunes,
And my soul belongs to another,
But he may have the love
And respect of my mind
And all it has to offer.

Do you see that rocking chair,
rocking on the front porch?
Unsteady, creaking, rotted wood,
rocking back and forth.

Do you see that elderly man,
sitting in that rocking chair?
Fragile, old, withering away,
running his hand through his grey hair.

Do you know that elderly man,
and what he's done for our country?
Fought, killed, risked his life,
all for the "Land of the Free".

Do you feel for that elderly man,
sitting alone on his front porch?
Has no family, no wife, no kids,
no one to carry his torch.

Where did that elderly man go?
For sale sign in the front yard.
Heart attack? Seizure? No, suicide.
Looks like living got too hard.

Do you see that rocking chair,
rocking on the front porch?
Unsteady, creaking, rotted wood,
alone it rocks,
back and forth.

I live a shallow life.
No one is willing to submerge too deep.
I see them all around me…
Dancing on the sand,
Their skin hot from the sun,
& burning with romance.
I let them come and go as they please,
Stepping in my puddle by the sea,
Taking away a little at a time,
Leaving me alone…yet free.
I hear the others coming,
Rolling in so gently,
Each just a passerby
Speaking to me eloquently.
I see in the distance the whole that I should be,
But here I wait, unattached…
Just like a puddle by the sea.

Gaily bedight,
  A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
  Had journeyed long,
  Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.
  But he grew old—
  This knight so bold—
And o’er his heart a shadow
  Fell as he found
  No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength
  Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow—
  “Shadow,” said he,
  “Where can it be—
This land of Eldorado?”

  “Over the Mountains
  Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
  Ride, boldly ride,”
  The shade replied,
“If you seek for Eldorado!”

The room spins with an awkward intensity
As I find myself (once again) questioning what is real
Fearing that time will steal another moment
From my consistently weakening grasp
Unknown forces pillage my thoughts
3:00 am
Ideas jump from my mind like suicide bombers
Burning and fizzling as they plummet to the ground
Confused by my feelings
And confused by the world
I ***** emotion onto a page
Hoping it will save me from being broken
But words cannot contain
The run away
Freight train
That is my soul
On fire and restless
Far too tired to sleep
Way too hungry to eat
Too thirsty to drink
Too everything to think
I mean what I say
But I can never say what I mean
So I stare a the T.V. screen
Hoping it will make me normal
Or at the very least numb

Goodnight Red Balloon