If you think about it? Why did the chicken cross the road? How many people have you meet in your life? Is a question you cannot answer! But what you can answer is the memories of those you miss and no good or bad memories that would have built your character made you who you are today.

  
But one got to think about the reality! Outside the box it’s not about Now or when, or were, or why! It’s about hope they say time is a healer I beg to differ healing begins with in yourself, take control of your thoughts manage them like how you prepare your bath put the plug in Run your water till it’s nice and warm take your clothes of and jump in the bath.

The same concept works with your thoughts and feelings take control and feelings take control you cry when you happy you cry when you sad! But the two have 2 things in common your tears filled with memories and an Ocean filled with emotions.
  
I’m running going faster and faster not stopping or thinking to tie my shoe lace Next thing I know the thought kicks in! as I look down I need to stop and tie my Shoe laces as I slow down I stop and realize I have tripped over and landed on my face DISAPOINTMENT And anger is the first emotion I feel.
  
But now this accident has happened! All I can do is pick myself up and clean up my face and tie my shoe laces. Wants its broken all you can try and do is try to fix it or move on! Just like a beggar or a *** living on the street moving from one place to another just to survive it’s the same with your life surroundings it’s hard but you have to move on to take that control and mend your broken heart and thoughts you think you have it hard!

But just think for a moment imagine been BLIND Can never see your loved ones. Or been “DEAF” Can’t hear the whispers! Oh no feet or hands can’t walk we must understand we are all unique in a certain way and should not judge our selves’ against others around us!

Be pleased for your life you have because once you lose your personality through judgment or depression that hole only gets Deeper, Darker, And Cold then it kicks in the chain reaction. Doctors Medication! Deeper and Deeper it gets.
Your mind becomes like a rubix cube how to fix it now? It takes DAYS, HOURS, YEARS To fix it if you see or feel that hole in the distance change your path so
to avoid it.

And you won’t find the truth or answers to your Questions. Or the light at the end of the door! NO you won’t find them they will find you when the time is right. People are absolutely “amazing” some good some nasty you don’t feel it but you tend to take a bit of they personality which makes you learn and find you’re self
so be careful with who you meet and how you react in situations Live for today and Pray for tomorrow.  
  


Jidos Reality 26.8.11

Cold breeze in the summer time warm sun on my skin, blue sky's up above all my senses are tingling.


my eyes are amazed by the sight that they see, it feels like iv been picked up and dropped in a day dream.


A day dream that cannot scream, my eyes are Peaceful as they could ever be, a sight that's amazing as the warm sea running against my feet.


My touch creates a rush blushing goose bumps like a red rose blooming some were in my heart.


The sense that I'm feeling of everything around me that's alive and living is making my touch create memories that remind me that life is truly amazing.


I smell the roses and the violets and the sweet smell that attracts the bees, the salty air fromthe sea blowing around in this cool breeze.


I can taste the smell from my nose the seas so salty it's blue and it glows, taste buds coming alive water drops cuddling this dry mouth of mine.


So many sounds from different places from many places these sounds are created.


Birds humming away children filled with laughter as they play. Ice cream vans play their tunes the soft wind whistles through


The blue sky speaks with silence my "Peaceful Soul is now peacefully smiling.


JidosReality 19.6.15

What goes throughout an addicts brain? Besides static pain broken words addicted to pain.

A broken train derailed as death waits to slowly inflict more pain. My pen tries to breath like an addicts addiction craving for another drink.

Scratching around looking for another hit, the addict may be rich or poor living good or on the street. With every hit and every drink the addict will never be like you and me.

Addicted to something Buzzing addict what a munchie, ill have a smoke this high grade is some nice ****.

Come on baby girl come smoke with me , sit down and listen my poetry is amazing just let all the words go free.

An addict is cleaver what a lier so clever. It all comes down to a drink. Another hit let's the addict breath.

It don't matter if they score in a house or on the street. They thoughts always echo making sounds that are empty. 

Pockets always empty they bellies are always starving, the words from they mouth are full of ******* and nothing.

The addict won't stop! The addict is broken and torn apart there's no honesty or trust. See now the story's told everyone has given up.

Making choices broken promises and the lies will have to stop. The addicts at the bottom were there's nothing to hold on.

Everyday they get judged, stop the drugs even tho it's hard Stop.

Stop the drinking and start thinking? You alcoholic your life is with living. Don't destroy this life you were given.

You think you understand an alcoholics addiction? Understand this? Put your self in an addicts position.


JidosReality 17.6.14

He looks as he Blinks see his eyes see what he sees! It stimulates his brain like he’s Medically Insane psychologically he’ll never be the same. 



Many veins with different story’s scratching away at his brain, He’s gone way past depression as his personality slips away.




Mind tricks every time he thinks his medication will make him feel okay, It makes him go more crazy the more he tries to remember his name.



Every blink leaves a mark with a scar on his heart, his trapped in a Cold long room that’s filled with stairs that seem to go no were don't stare!




His down on his knees as he looks and sees his life scatter everywhere, getting lost by the cold sound of weakness in his head. 



His words don’t want to speak as his Anger Screams at him, Time was never on his side his Reflection tried to hide.




In a deep dark hole were broken souls wouldn’t even go, a broken memory with a heart that was cold. 




Addicted to the pain the past is all he knows, he lost the key to his future his eyes only showed him what he saw. 




Jidos Reality 18.10.12

And then it happened A Secret and Words that could never be spoken, lost in the reflection of a shadow were hatred and love become happiness.

A situation you could never answer leaving you In a position, of thoughts and emotions.

Anger and happiness confuse the soul as it searches for answers to to questions it’s been told.

A deep hole rotting and first fighting some times two faced hiding away and crying, always waiting.

A lost puzzle were pieces would never fit into a world, with out sadness you will never be missed.

The pure joy of happiness how could this be? that a secret could live and eat away at me.

And it makes me wonder does the Apple really fall close to its tree, the truth can not be spoken there will be no hearts broken.

Secrets come alive like A Mid Night Emotion how could you find your self when the secret learns how to live.

Jidos Reality 3.4.13

With My Hands on my Head my head to the pillow the pains so deep like a Cold Winters Willow.

In my mind I’m a fighter My Hearts the lighter my soul sparks it up like a fluid lighter.

This Poem Isn’t for you it’s for me Reality is Twisted it will never set you free, a poet suffering with arthritis for every word spoken an emotion starts to think.

And brings out everything at the moment that I think, I’ll be self-destructing mind blowing crushing Poetry searching because they never saw what I could see.

My Pen. wasn’t lazy it learned lessons from the words it had created, it gets a “Rush” every time my hand picks it up to Create Poetry from the heart.

It has a life of its own every Letter picks it’s Poem, every Word has a Sound that the pen helps bring out.

JidosReality 5.5.13

prefer to express myself metaphorically. let me stress metaphorically not symbolically.My Poetry's all over me like maggots on garbage, just because I interfered with a pickpocket the other day.

Once a flower is picked it immediately begins to die. see hope is the crystal **** of emotions. It hooks you fast and kills you hard. The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest.

See my Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.If Music is a Place then Jazz is the City, Folk is the Wilderness, Rock is the Road, Classical is a Temple.

See Love is a piano dropped from a four story window and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But it is just two lovers, holding hands and in a hurry to reach their car, their locked hands a starfish leaping through the dark. #JidosReality #Poetry #Amazing

I hate what you have done to my life; I hope it makes you happy destroying everything in my smile.


I hate you smile I hate the way you cry, I hate every emotion in your smile, I hate all the time that you talked when your shadow never seen what I could see.


I hate every time you tried to talk to me, I hate the way you think when you thinking about writing to me.


How could I ever see? Why do you make me hate? Why do you break my every heart beat it tries to make?


How can you take away the laughter to my world and throw it away?  Why do you have a heart that’s filled with so much hate?


How can you hate me for all the things that are wrong that come your way? I hate the way your eyes try to lie as they watch me cry.


I'm holding onto this smile that I keep hidden some were in-side, I live for the day when hate was out of my life.


Jidos Reality 25.11.12

Every letter that I write seems to be burning JidosReality my poetry started learning, that letters become words and words become meanings.


Memories are never lost they awake but day dreaming, sounds searching and screaming my poem book is drowning silently shouting.


The genius in the words as I write when I think, JidosReality was as twisted as an apple refusing to fall down from a tree. Like a shadow afraid of the dark scared to be lost.


A pen with out ink! Oh how hollow can I think? Words come out rushing the poem cuddles my pen as it starts blushing. 


My fingers are tingling buzzing to the words my thoughts are speaking. Sun shine filled with rain drops cold misty days trying to warm my heart up.


I crush and break every word I can't tame, there's a name for those words every word has a name! Poetry as I write it will never be the same.


JidosReality hears my pen pick my brain, hears the book I write in write down what you see. 


But the pen has no ink a "Blank Page is all I can see.


JidosReality 20.3.15

Thank you for the smile you put on my face. Thank you for showing me my dreams, such a beautiful place.  


You held my hand when I cried and said ‘don’t worry, everything will be alright’.


You saved my life and I thank you for this and I pray and hope you get your every wish.  


The things you did and the things you said, such a beautiful memory, truly blessed.


I wrote this poem saying thank you for everything you did, you will be missed.
Your friend,  Majid.

Jidos Reality 16.6.11

Scars all over my face on my hands on my knees, they all over the place each one brought alive with a different story to tell.

Some have been an Accident others have put me through Hell.
The situation was never easy been in a place where greed was envy.

Watching your friends turn into enemy’s, using you as the bate like Sharks circling around patiently waiting.

The Scars. On my fists remind me of the walls I used to hit, when the world made Me Angry it made me think it hatted me.

My hands would hurt with pain as all the Hate Rushed through me; the Scars on my face were from a story book that lost a page.

I felt like A Drunk I couldn’t stand like a man, I was angry at the Bottle so I picked it up and smashed my face.

The Scars on My Lip were broken and confused, the Scars on My back had me used and abused.

The Scars on My Legs had lost many friends; tattoos all over my body to hide the Scars that make me feel sorry.

Every one with a story to tell all over my body.

JidosReality 9.5.12

Trust has to be the life of forgiveness; words like sorry, if only don’t make any meaning to the emotion of the words spoken. Mistakes often tend to creep up and happen somehow without realizing it, ***** the life out of trust.


Causing such a situation where to forgive and forget becomes an option not so easily felt or done. Almost totally impossible I did things that I took for granted forgot that moment of spontaneous happiness I can’t turn back time but can only hope that time could be a healer.


Heartbroken thoughts shattered running wild in my head all trapped in a bubble of plastic. Miss that sweet smell of roses in the morning, now it’s cold and lonely mornings, forgiveness is all I want you to see and feel.



I Put these sorrow times away close this cupboard cause the skeletons have been and gone. The key to solving this situation is to learn to trust yourself first then you can trust and love those you care for.


If there is forgiveness the will always be happiness


Jidod Reality 16.1.11

Tasty treats amazing me. So many words chasing me. All asking me questions is it my turn Jido is it me? 

Imagination coming alive! Cover your ears and just maybe you'll hear it smile. I took a letter flipped it over left it dizzy for a while. 

Words addicted to me! Tasty Treats inviting me into this poetry's fix, pens running around searching for ink shaking uncontrollably. 

Poem book snappy snappy! Withdrawal symptoms many letters missing. The Alphabet needs re-mapping.

Cravings searching.... but the compass is missing it's lost in many sentences that are broken and hurting. 

Tasty Treats amazing me.. Words falling out of the sky hand picking me. 

JidosReality will let you into a secret thats free! words only crumble wen you don't allow them to speak.

JidosReality 1.2.17

The cold touch of the deserts sand, the whisper on my skin from the suns heat.

The lonely feeling of the lost wind. The little gecko pacing fast on its small feet.

The shade holding on to the only tree, the blue sky smiles as the sun shines.

The brown color of the sand waters run away and left this land as far away as it can.

This desert is alive there’s nothing hear but sadness and pain become friends with the heat and it will spare your heart beat.

Sand Dunes confusing you as far as your little eyes can see, you can shout and scream and wonder why nobody thinks?

You feel like you trapped in a dream with only a bottle of water to make you feel.

If it’s not the desert the sun or the heat your life is about to be complete.

JidosReality

I would rather trust a women's instinct than a mans reason, I'm sick and tired of fake people for many different reasons.


A women's instinct is the truth no reason to mis lead me. All these fake other people around are a new bread of ******* leaches.


They make me sick they really do cockroach little leaches, I had to write this poem to get all this anger out my system, I see them coming from were they don't I won't let them in my head no I won't.


They mind games are seriously silly hurry up tick tock the clock is ticking, you ******* leaches creatures always scheming and tricking. 


Your end game is your game my anger is your pain I refuse to play dumb that situation has Ended, you blocked and un followed yes mate you un freinded, my Pen is so angry let the words speak to mend it.


How can I trust a mans reason? When a mans reason is unpleasing two faced qweek'ly judging realising that trust was nothing.


At least a womens instinct is realistic no mind games no *******, she's trusting not wanting not thinking she needs to be winning. That game she ain't playing her instincs are all she's saying.


She ain't got nothing to gain but a simple solution to my pain, let me be honest and explain I'm sick of fake people who always sound the same. So let me remind you my poetry's so exciting. 


JidosReality 6.6.15

If only I told you what you mean to me, it’s been three years and you still mean loads to me. 




I love the way you walk and the way you talk, you always seem to find away to make me smile. 




I want to hold you and cuddle you every morning and all night, It’s been a long time sometimes I feel like I want to cry. 




We talk for hours on the phone every day and every time we speak you tell me everything will be alright. 




I should of stopped and listened to the words that come out of your mouth, I thought I knew what to do, but by thinking that I was hurting you.




I became friends with the bottle the more I poured a sip it made me feel hollow, I slowly threw away the love we had build our trust was getting swallowed.




Our arguments always used to echo if only I told you my life was perfect because of you, so complete because you needed me like I needed you.




I’m sorry for ever hurting you.




Jidos Reality 20.10.12

For every smile and every cuddle from every wish to every tingle. Happiness creates a memory that will never be missed.    

Kept close to your heart where happiness is never lost. You always make me smile when I’m crying and text me when I feel lonely late at night.    

The way you look into my eyes and make me smile it’s so nice. You’re truly amazing and one of a kind.  

Want to hold you and tell you I love that smile. Happiness is all I feel because you’re in my life.    
Angels and roses, Sweet candles all night, you asked me to write you this poem to show you how I feel.    

Happiness is lovely so thank you for what you have done. Let me know how to win your heart because I want you.    

For this happiness it will never be missed.    

Jidos reality 11.8.11

I had to think about it? Everytime it had me in a place where evil breathed.

It's been a long long time, thought I could run far far away! But it got me calling.

And knew why I looked my pain was the price I had to pay to understand this life that I lived.

It's reality was twisted by many words that were lost in an empty star that was bright with darkness.

I cried tears that smiled this was my destiny, I fight and I try but my tears still cry. Why won't it leave me why?

It's the only thing that believes in me. It's words make no sounds but it's caring always sounds out loud.

Every time it's not around my thoughts hear it calling. In the morning it's the worst Shaking Alcohol Carving.

Begging for some Cider to come and take away this thirst that's craving. It don't really care that I'm hurting and braking.

All it really knows is that it has me craving, screaming and lying in control of my thoughts, whispering words always shouting literally dying.

Letters never smiling they always crying and bitting. Memories are created because somebody's smiling or crying. 

Rehab never had the answer but addiction would make you wonder? That drinking Cider has many questions and answers to make you wonder! 

JidosReality 9.6.14

Never let it go as long as you know you unique, there’s only one of you that the world can see.




Your Soul is Peaceful like a cold summers breeze, your words are like a Sun Set to my eyes so sweet. 




Your Smile is locked away deep in my Heart as it beats, when someone feels lost you always there to help them breathe.




You Trust comes at no cost your Characters build on honesty, you get rid of all the tears from my eyes as they think.




You open You’re Heart and set you Laughter free, every star that shines at night is a memory you have given to me.




You the missing piece to my puzzle you make my world feel complete, time always seems to pause like a rivers stream. 




Like the Blue Sky above you the cloud that shades me Never let it go I see Paradise by your feet.




The Sweet smell of Roses makes my body rush as I breathe; you always got a Twinkle in your eye as your imagination take hold of me. 




You make every word on this page come out and speak, never let it go you’ll always be my everything.



Jidos Reality 21.10.12

Destiny is a word filled with hope and wishers that our dreams come true one day. From every laughter to every tear that is filled with every emotion that some time brings out the fear.



The same fear you have to feel all your life. So you can understand and become friends with that special thing they call happiness.


With every breath that we take and every step that we make and all the lye’s and the truth that we tell every day.



We should never worry it’s not scary it’s okay, our destiny will come around one day. It will knock on your door step and look you in the face. And show you there’s more to life than living it and worrying about thing’s every day.


Because not everything is so bad everything will be okay. My destiny’s not my option it’s just a story on this page.


Just remember the things the same emotions that scare us are the same.
Our tears are lovely they tell a story that says I wish I knew my destiny, so I can prepare for the next day.


Not to make the same mistake I did that was just yesterday, the same day i thought today will be a better would be a much day.  



Jidos Reality 27.9.11

Saw you’re soul and I ripped it out, Took your wish and you’re smile your personality was trapped in a world that would always make it cry.

Your mind was mine I confused it every time, I locked it in a maze were rage would visit all the time.

Make you run into a corner to some were you could never hide, what a life with no smiles only tears that never cry.

Only then we wonder why? Why should we ever try? Worry and stress every time I say goodbye.

Oh! Why do “I Hate You” I wonder why? You selfish so I came back to abduct your smile, and replace it with loads of many evil cry’s.

There’s no love Bites tonight only padded cells that come alive, I hope you ready to fight your weakness is my anger that feeds me every time.

I sit back and smile and hold you with my evil eyes take every emotion that has ever crossed your life.

Destroy every feeling that you have ever felt in-side, I hate you with a passion you the last word in this chapter of my life I wonder why?

Jidos Reality 11.8.12

Today seems a bit different, something’s happened! It’s so strange this feeling, there’s more to life than thinking.  It’s easier said than done, you cannot stop thinking but you can control your feelings about what you thinking.



Are you dreaming? Is it real? That life is holding you with cuddles of thoughts filled with pain and sorrow and anger, laughter seems to be lost.



I feel alone, like my shadow late at night. Wondering around trying to find a little light.



And just for the moment I see that light in the distance, my pace starts speeding up as my thoughts are going to connect with this light. Where my shadow could be seen just for a moment in this dark time.



But the closer I get the harder and further it seems. Rain drops start falling slowing me down! I keep going on and my thoughts tell me don’t let the rain stop you Think.



Determination. I will succeed and finally I reach this little light and all that seemed bad is filled with happiness.

JidosReality

I'm oxygen and she's dying to breathe. I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world so please listen no need to speak".. 

Do not fall in love with people like me. 

I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place.

so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. 

I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. 

And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people. 

JidosReality 7.6.16

I express my emotions with a mirror picture of myself in a happy place. When the truth is that the emotion I might or may be feeling is filled with rage And Anger.

How can one keep this up? Only for so long trying to get out of this rabbits hole only gets harder and harder as the more the rabbit tries the weaker it gets.

To understand my strength i must become friends with my weakness guiding my Negative thoughts through this hard time. To become friends with my positive feelings set them free and let the two become one, I have to find the balance or will end up like humpty dumpty who fell of the wall.

Emotions shatted with no one to pick the pieces up! I can’t hate can only forgive and forget and as I do I expect you to it’s the principle you would think? But the world is not so round.

The calm water on a Sunday morning may seem like that but beneath this place of calm water is utter madness and chaos.

Thoughts take control take your clothes off jump in the water go under and control this chaos that can’t be seen from where I’m standing. My mind is racing like a flock of geese flying north away from the winter to some were nice and warm.

Which path should I take? Don’t want to go the wrong way or hard way because the more it races the more they get consumed by!

“PANNIC” “GUILT” “HAPPINESS” “SUCCSESS" You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house iv been labeled i should go and get a bar code with my MED Numbers tattooed all over my body! I’m not a leader or a follower but I am only human just like you and everyone else.

My thoughts have now become my Drug addiction craving for this and that I’m addicted for wanting to be loved and respected, Love is a big word but feels and brings out a lot of pain and respect for one’s self. Do you believe in love or just the thought of having a peace of mind Love and anger are just thoughts that tend to affect our daily moods.


Can one describe how your mind and heart works with out laughing or crying? I don’t think so! Like getting up in the morning brushing your teeth making your dinner then going back to sleep. This “DEPRETION” And feelings of loneliness becomes a habit in your daily life.

  I then think that this habit needs to change like reading a novel you have to change to the next page to know how the story goes or ends! So with this illness I’ve got to change this page so that these days next time i take a bed time story book it will have a happy ENDING.

Jidos Reality 18.2.2010

Trouble Memories have made us today molded our character and minds created this un for seen future we have left behind.


Cause and effect I think! I lost 6 weeks of my life but gained a moment of reality with a mixed feeling of acceptance with one’s self.


Covered in a storm of happiness wish I had a camera to capture this feeling of completion, as my mind becomes one with my soul.


Like picking up my Knife and Fork cutting into this piece of stake that’s covered in mushroom sauce.


Thinking been waiting for this moment for some time, and as I take my first bite my smile gets a moment of clarity with its self.


Watching the sun set on a quiet Sunday morning, and a warm summers evening, Tingling moments of spontaneous randomness.


My sadness has become my happiness filled with days of loneliness watching the time pass by wondering when will I realize I’ve found myself.


Complete is the suttle word that comes to mind! At peace at last with these Trouble Memory’s.

  
Jidos Reality 1.1.10

What you mean to me is a world I never forget about, when I think of you is a dream I’ve always wished about.



I think you **** and Lovely your smile gets me hypnotised it gets me Tingling and felling  makes my Heart want you to be mine.





I want to be the reason you smile and hold you tight when you cry, and let you know not to worry everything will be alright.



You Amazing you Lovely you Beautiful and ****, you got a heart of gold, may all the Angels give you all they blessings.




I’m falling In Love with you and I just got to tell you, you smile your laughter tour touch your kiss your star singes so deep.




From your style to the way you say my name when you look deep into my eyes,why? R? U? Insane? what you mean to me is a world that means loads to my heart.




Jidos Reality 19.5.12

I can’t understand a word that comes out of your mouth.
I won’t even take the time to figure you out.

All there’s story’s you make up what’s that chapter about? Why you go to lie every time you open your mouth.

The truth always comes out that’s what a friend is all about.
Not the lie’s or the things that you always talking about.

Remember the story about the boy who cried Wolf? Well he aint crying no more he’s been taken away by the wolf.

All you seem to do is dig  yourself a bigger and darker hole.
Whether you like it or not I think you should be told.

Playing with people’s emotions like you on a Rolla Costa. Every time that you seem to speak and the lies you trying to teach you need to go to confession and tell the priest what you did.

That every time you open your mouth. You always lie through your teeth, one day you will get up and start to tell the Truth”

By the time that day comes I would have finished writing this poem for you.

Jidos Reality 20.9.11

Why does he want it? My life is crazy please show me why his life is so amazing, write on this  poems page tell me why I'm thinking?


Take a word from my page JidosReality is alive and breathing, I grew up stumbling and learning. hush be quiet listen this poem is speaking.


It's day dreaming looking for something. It's very hungry munching yet tasting nothing. You been so polite as you read! thank you I love that smile I see on your face as you read.


My anger is my heart beat.They watched me crumble falling slowly weak, and whilst they stood there laughing pointing many fingers at me, I'll be making my bed under the corner shop sleeping on the street.


My pen in my right hand my poem book waiting to speak my thoughts fighting so much greed. I want to strangle every word they said to me I ripped out all this sadness they left on me.


I smiled in they face as they spat on me my names Majid I'm lost in JidosReality. It's a world you could never understand it's always been mis-understood my Poetry snapped begged me to tear out this page from my poem book.


The words showed me and promised me they would never stop speaking as long as my pen is still alive and breathing.


JidosReality 20.7.15

I meet a spider one day who could never stop it always shacked, the days became long 10 seconds later there was no one there to hate.


One day I had to walk into a place that was Filled with Misery, there was hatred around sadness was it’s destiny.


The people all around were Lost souls that needed resting, it had taken days for me to understand how far away my addiction had taken me.


A voice from inside was screaming at me to stop, it echoed in my ears and was as silent as a water drop.


My addiction held me close as I was the Heart Beat of it’s every need, our secret kept it alive like a smile wanting to cry.


I'm now trapped in the same world were my thoughts come to hide The Reality my eyes see make them want to shout and never breath.


All the words in my head are as confusing as the spiders web “I meet a Spider” one day who never cared and only waited for death.


Jidos Reality 8.11.12

Silence I hear nothing it's a strange feeling when your thoughts stop talking, not a whisper or a sound my thoughts have become numb. Every word makes no sense silence has made it's bed.

Silence listen can you hear? This poems empty and hollow filled with meanings screaming loud in your ear. While I nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a tapping.

Silence was hear but whispering nothing stalking me at night catching me silently napping, silence all I can hear is breathing! Remind me of the story about the Poem that never stopped screaming.

Why are all the letters shattered into little pieces? Silence my poem book is thinking my pen is silently writing many words that are dreaming. 

Silence listen can you hear? JidosReality is screaming loud in your ear! Every word that you read is trembling with fear.

Silence hush! Be quiet my pen is meditating before the words began to riot whispering in your ear every words phychoticly violent. 

My poem book begins to shake afraid of the shouting the noise is about to make, silence oh! Let's be quiet! Observe my pen in a stray jacket writing words that are silently shouting.

My poetry's to deep so be quiet so it wrote this poem listen to the silence.

JidosReality 6.20.15

I remember when you called me and whispered in my ear, sweet words that were heart breaking my tears were filled with fear.



Second’s turned into minutes and with a blink of an eye you had forgot about all those years. Cuddles and Love making look at what pain they have brought dear oh! Dear.



The sun brings light to half of the earth, whilst the other half is dark. What happened to the laughter how can that memory be lost?



I see the problem now there will never be no trust, there will be no more wishes coming out from the whishing ***.



Thought my life was beginning now it feels like it’s stopped, the road is not straight it’s all bendy and rough.



The more I think about it! It gets harder its tough Dropped to the bottom were everything seems to stop.



If only Candy Tasted Sweet would the penny have Dropped?



Jidos Reality 15.6.12

Slow down for a moment shut up and listen! My depression turned me in to a crazy poet turning words into lunatics. 

Sitting in a square room around a table with the mad ones, suicide whispering in my ear it's time to get out.

The mad ones in the room screaming that the voices in they heads are trying to get out. Call me honest wat ever iv been already Labeled a lunatic! 

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror watching your own reflection cut it's self with every memory that makes it go sick? 

Every word that I write tries to mend the SCARS hidden inside somewhere playing hide and sick. Padded cells decorated with silence.

Medication boxes light you up like matches, therapy sessions leave more questions than answers.

Love trying to be explained! Pain trying to be explained! Emotions all mixed up in this bowl that has no name. 

Crazy poet JidosReality ask Majid? He knows my name.

JidosReality 4.2.17

Confusion is not as complicated as it seems to be, control mixed with happy and crazy but lonely feelings of memories lost in a maze of your own world.

How can someone help me when they can’t and would probably never understand how every memory I have changers at how my life is?

It’s an unexplained but sad situation one has to deal with, stop all the stressing and everything will be okay!

  
Feelings shattered and broken pick yourself up they say? What of those memories I cant pick up because I’m blinded by the anger consuming my every emotion to this situation.

You expect them to understand in a way that makes you feel comfortable, but the truth is that is not how it works.

  
Help yourself they tell you, be positive and find your broken mind and look after it like how your mom looked after you when you were just a little baby.

  
It’s not fair on us as we will never be normal, but can only be honest. So with this I will try to love and become friends with my fractured mind and look after it for as long as I am alive ~ CONFUSION ~

  
Jidos Reality 21.1.11

It cannot be reality this misshapen scenes of perspective that I have.
Warped feelings of paranoia, against my surroundings.

  
It’s a circle so they tell me, of feelings so hard to control swallow a pill to combat the illness be grateful for small mercies.

  
It cannot be the world as it really is this void of depression that surfaces. I fight the feelings with gusto, and strive to pass the test battling against the circle of hardship.

  
The feeling’s inside are so real, keep taking the tablets they say ~~ you not as bad as some ~~ cannot believe I am here, this place were the (LUNITICS) live.

  
Pale faces stare back at me, does he work hear? Numbered by medication, devoid of understanding these feelings are not my fault!

  
Stay of the alcohol and you’ll be alright. Think of those worse of then yourself. I can live with this now, this enemies of my emotions.

I am not all woe and misgivings I can laugh! I may be injured but I can be happy.

This sickness is an unfortunate curse but I can live and learn and love my fractured mind as a friend ~~ REALITY ~~

Jidos Reality 23.1.11

The bottle is open, the rizzla rolled, the glass is half empty now the story’s told. The days are long and the nights are short, look at that drunk he can’t even walk, let alone talk.


  
He seems to drink all his memories away, hopping that the alcohol will take he’s tears away.


His stomachs rumbling and his mouth is hungry, He’s got three pounds in he’s pocket, that’s okay he’ll be round the alcohol store in a hurry.



His therapy sessions are long and boring He’s asked: Do you like feeling like this every morning!


What started out as a hobby has become a thirst? He knows deep down inside he will never be missed. Not even by the newsagent or the drunks that sleep in the dirt.


Or by the cold lonely mornings or the alcohol he sips or the smile and thing’s That he wished he would never missed.



Addiction needs help, not a story that twist’s. It needs love and understanding, so would you be the first?


Jidos reality 12.10.11

Your heart is my love always has me smiling and thinking this love is amazing. You can not be replaced you my world my everyday.

Good Times because of you priceless words I love you how can I show you how I feel? And how amazing you make me feel? The only way I know this Poems for you and only you.

I remember my world was upside down twisted and bruised, I felt all alone my world was all gloomy and blue, it was a cracked broken reflection I held the mirror so many questions didn't know what to do.

My life was tainted that cloudy picture badly painted, memory's I want lost to be thrown away hidden in the dark, but if I could if I really could I wouldn't go back and change the past.

They all still look at me and see an old nail covered in rust, when you look at me your eyes whisper love from your sweet heart.

I lost the plot decided to stop forgot what life was all about, I was always sad very mad I suppose I was angry at the life I had I had given up I closed my heart cause I could smell and feel it rot.

You came my way and told me it's okay, you gave me life you gave me a reason to want to stay you saved me from the madness that I was feeling everyday.

Good Times because if you and I'll end thus poem by telling you i love you.

JidosReality 26.6.15

Because now I’m fantastic living in a glass dream, so say that I got another day Hours and Minutes all come in a very different way.




Suicidal thoughts rushing should I cut my writs today? Will it Hurt when I feel my veins exploding filled with pain?




The sharp knife on my cold skin makes me start to believe, my heart is as cold as the shadow the follows me. 




It has no meaning to the sounds that I scream, my paranoid sense bites away at my finger nails as it thinks.




My soul is confused as it lives this misery, death is round the corner smiling as it thinks.


Every tear that I cry take away a little bit of me. 

My eyes have no Light only dark memories that have stayed with me, I’m searching for the truth as this knife starts calling me. 




I’m lost in a Glass Dream with many mirrors staring at me.A Cold Whisper in the wind comes along to remind me. 

Because I’m fantastic this dream is not a world that was meant for me.




Jidos Reality 1.11.12

A “Merry Christmas” to you all


Dreams with smiles and wishes coming true Christmas trees with presents under the tree just for you.

Loads of cards just to let you know how many people love you Roast Turkey, Roast Vegetables there’s so much love in this room.

I can feel Mrs Clause and Rudolf smiling because christmas makes us feel good.Little children in the room with family and friends laughing out loud.

The smell of the food in the kitchen is so nice, there’s a knock at the door please let the snowman in-side.

Eggnog and Sherry for grandma and grandpa, little kids all around the telly watching Madagascar. The rooms filled with laughter kids opening every present they get faster, wrapping paper all around with Christmas songs to sing along.

Christmas Socks all been raided chocolate sweets all over people’s faces Marry Christmas to you all and may the day grant all your wishers.

And even though your belly feels full it’s okay to offer to clean up all the dishes.




Jidos Reality 5.12.12

My poetry's so deep they got to dig a hole to find it I'm hiding inside it, it's a confused maze of words crying and smiling I'm lost in those words so they can't find me.

Words addicted to my pen my poetry has a friend ink that always speaks, this maze of letters is a
Puzzle they can't complete.

Every corner they turn is a lessen they would learn, searching for a meaning yet my poetry's always always teaching the more they dig this hole the harder it would be to find me.

Enter the maze please find the letters to the words please, do you  understand what my Poetry does to the pens ink when it thinks? Mind games they like to play now they digging a hole calling my name. 

It's getting bigger and darker my poem book never starters, JidosReality can't they see it's my reality the world I live in. A world mixed with a little madness laughter consumed by sadness happiness fighting with anger.

Thoughts that are always numb from running and falling hard every time they try to jump. Don't see my kindness as a weakness or my Poetry been so simple as washing a plate of dish's.

I guaranty you with a pen you'll find it hard to find the words to explain who you are, were you been and how deep you understand the hole that you in.


JidosReality 20.6.15

My thoughts are lost in this house of cards build from bricks, some doors in this house open up memories that scream. 

The room in this house I'm sitting in writing this poem needs to breath, to many memories in this room fighting for oxygen that's trying to leave.

There's no house warming feeling, or a hand baked loaf of bread in the oven dreaming. Just memories torn apart they happiness stopped speaking.

So deep wen I think! Its so sad how could it be? Anger and pain are the only voice to my memories.

Happiness and Love those memories are lost far far away in the rust of this broken falling house.

So many Memories laughing at me cause I'm weak, every room I walk into tells a story with no happy ending.

Im trapped and I'm lost, the keys in my hands only open doors to were loneliness is never lost in the dark.

All I'm left with is Cracked Memories all over this house of cards build from bricks. 


JidosReality 9.8.16

It’s something I’ve been cultivating for many years now.

Just imagine a mandala or a flower and think about the center of the flower and then all the petals that come out from the center and think of the center of the flower as absolutely still, and think of all of the petals as moving, and energy, and change, but the center is still.

Where is your center?
Thoughts coming, they’re petals. Thoughts arising, changing, disappearing.

“What’s happening? I don’t understand!”
“What’s he talking about? This isn’t going to help!”
“When is he going to start?”
“Where is my silent place?”

Those are all the thoughts. Just notice them. They arise, they exist, they pass away, they’re supplanted by another thought a moment later.

When they were there, they all seemed very real, didn’t they? You can hardly remember the thought you had two minutes ago. It just came and went, just like a summer storm.

An itch on the nose, a pain in the knee, a sound outside, somebody moving, coming, going, coming, going, the stuff of life. Just coming, going, coming, going. Behind it right here is just quiet.

It’s interesting, how many words we will use that are designed to ultimately bring you right to the center of the flower, right to the quiet place, right to the place where we meet, in the deepest way.

We meet through our words, through our concepts. Relationally, we meet in the silence united.

JidosReality 18.2.17

I’m back I take a word and make it smile if I’m angry I take it and make it cry, there’s not much you can do with your stress to hate me. 




My World is in a Bubble far away were you could never get me, every morning I wake up and Thank my Thoughts for this blessing. 




My hearts calm as a Snowman with each heart beat catching me when I’m falling, I’m always Smiling Laughing loud because I’m breathing.




It’s Amazing what my eyes see in the Mirror when I’m looking, a world that’s not numb only days that are filled with fun.




Where Peace overtakes all my emotions that try to run, were Birds are always singing under the Beauty of the sun. 




The Dark Night come alive as all the Starts become one .Fairies and Angels catching all my dreams that try to bring harm. 




I closed a door and never looked back I left the Past to rot, The future holds the dream to the wish I’ve been waiting for.




Jidos Reality 16.10.12

Take a moment once in a while, to pause to breath reflect and smile. Let’s all stand tall with respect and pride. And make Portsmouth’s Hero Lord Nelson proud as he watchers his beautiful city smile.

Take my hands and let’s climb up the spinnaker tower, Think happy thoughts and look around.Thank you to Portsmouth City for welcoming me me into this amazing town. Take a run down the sea front pass Clarence pier.

Feel the sun on your face your feet on the ground. Count the stars and examine the sky. Catch the rain and watch the birds fly.

Make something from silence let words lift your soul, and explore every sweet bit of your beautiful soul. My life cuddles destiny and bought me to this place where I was meant to be.

The Gloves on my hands meditating in this boxing ring, my future whispering to my thoughts as I think. Determination and hard work early morning starts.

I will start from the bottom and work my way to the top. Heart beating fast many emotions trying to get out. My thoughts whispering to me.

Float like a Butterfly sting like a Bee” for you are a champion a role model the world needs to see. Inspired by the greats~ Lord Nelson- Mohamed Ali.

So follow your dreams and never give up, and always work hard, your day will arrive at the right time. Remember your stars always shining to bright up the night.

JidosReality 5.10.17

It's madness I tell ya the world I live in, my mind never sleeps it's racing constantly! 

If I could take out all the pain from inside me, and hang it on a washing line for the whole world to see! 

I'm afraid many people would not be able to handle what they see. Do you read my poetry? And ask your self why it's so deep?  

Do you see the tears falling from the words as they speak? 

I try to understand why sadness has attached it's self to me! Why love finds it hard to become best friends with me! 

I gauss it is wat it is it's how it's supposed to be. My soul was just chosen to be left empty. 

If you don't get it? Let me try to explain it simply! Read this poem again the words ain't going anywhere they may be lost but are always listening.

JidosReality 6.2.17

So tell me tell me what you thinking, we always used to share our dreams together. Thoughts mixing, touching so tingling, dreaming and wishing.


Late night talks, smiling and cuddling, turning me one every time we start kissing, blood rushing through our veins, exploding and needing.  


Love’s got us hooked, wanting and breathing Passing minutes lost in each other’s eyes It’s true you’re amazing, loving your style; it’s true you got me hooked and craving.


Thank you for my wish, I’ve been praying and waiting No more lonely days or dark nights with tears and memories just raining.      


Because you’re my baby girl It’s true you’re amazing, *******, love making, under the moon light.


Trust bonding your soft skin against mine, got you blushing and whispering Needing and holding, grabbing so tempting.  

So tell me what you’re thinking, because you’re truly amazing.

Jidos reality 04.08.11.

Break your shackles and reach out to your freedom, the world is yours the poorest man around is not the fellow with out a bank coin to his name.

But the poorest man is a soul without the right information to orchestrate for him self the right future. Cause it takes strength to be certain, it takes courage to have doubts.

It takes stents to fit in, it takes courage to stand out, it takes strength to share a friends pain, it takes courage to feel your own , it takes strength to hide it show it and deal with it.

It takes strength to stand alone it takes courage to live, Portsmouth City my friend what a good friend  you are. Have me the courage and strength to be who I want to be.

You allow me to bake chocolate biscuits and cake, you give me he freedom to clearly see my future, you listen to me as I speak to you at the beach.

You lend me your light house so the darkness stays away from me, I don’t say it much and I hardly say it to! But Portsmouth City my happiness thanks you, and wanted to let you know that it loves you two.

JidosReality 4.10.17

My life decided to rest me with determination, found my self in this city I knew nothing about called Portsmouth, the first emotion that attached it’s self to me was loneliness.

My mind was in shock but I knew I had to carry on and be strong. Cause I was about to have a baby this little life inside me needed me. Far away from my family a lot of mixed feelings going on.


And than like a nightmare it slowly faded away like an angel my best friend Shamilla was send my way. She threw away the loneliness I was feeling everyday.

Took my hand and said don’t worry from now on everything will be okay. And now I don’t worry my little boy is grown up and happy.

From shopping down Gunwharf to taking him for walks down the beach, watching my son grow up so happy in this amazing place we both call home Portsmouth City.

It took time to adjust and I may of felt trapped, but my future looks bright I have my little boy by my side.

JidosReality 4.10.17

It’s time for you all to understand! I hate the past but am happy because it came and turned me into a man. 




Made me who I am today and yes I had to learn the hard way, that’s why I Write what I feel hard to say. 




The Hour Glass has now turned as the Sand falls there are lessons learned that we should be told. 




Every Past has a Beginning and every beginning has an end, every day brings new meaning to every decision I have made.




I take My Medication everyday so I don’t go insane, I’ve learned how to put a smile on my face every time I don’t feel okay. 




Sometimes I sit in the Corner and cry my eyes out all day, a smile is all I need Happiness is what I crave. 




It’s the only thing in this life that I wish for everyday, I’ve stopped and I’ve thought about it all I can do now is get on my knees and pray. 




It’s time now I’m ready to show the world what I got to say, this is “Jidos Reality” hope you like what I got to say.




Jidos Reality 25.10.11

Not a problem that’s okay not to worry as long as you happy what else can I say, as long as you smile I’ll always be happy in twisted way.

Like making toast and freezing it for another day, Dammm that was mad you were crazy in a different way.

We were mixed like a bag of nuts our world always moved so fast, like water coming around getting lost moving too fast.

Whilst you try to read a book you know nothing about, you used to shout out loud every time the world tried to play.

Our thoughts became confused, mentally abused, the look in your eyes has me feeling weak deep within in-side.

Here’s a couple of cuddles and some smiles to make you feel nice that’s okay you don’t have to say.

You don’t even have to speak or show me what you think, I’ll hold on to your lonely heart and listen to it beat.

Jidos Reality

When the dead return wounds re-open, secrets come alive with many words to be spoken.

We all have secrets many things we hide. Little story's and big ones all ready to come alive.

Closet doors shut closed waiting to be opened up wide. The truth has a begging but got lost in the lies. 

Our eyes can not speak but tell a story hidden deep in our smiles.  Your face never lights up! Always confused by the lies.

Your words make no sense from the beginning to the end. Your secret is not lost it's just silently eating you up.

Your personality will change every thing you do will never be the same. Confusion has now come to get you! 

It was stalking you and you never knew. Nothing fits it always breaks, tiny little pieces scattered all over the place.

They all lost misplaced confusion has them feeling out of place. See now nothing seems to make any sense, 

What a mood? So much stress, this place is a mess. Why are you confussed? Doors closed locked in a cupboard in a little dark room.

Wounds hurting as memories start screaming, the trauma has never left you.

All the lies will now confuse you, there's no were to run confusion has come to get ya.

JidosReality 18.6.14