First time Again

Your walking towards me, back into my life suddenly.
A feeling comes back from years before, but your smile puts me right and the feeling; no more.

We get to each other with pace, leap into a long awaited warm embrace.
There's an instant spark when we touch, we fall apart I remember I missed you so much.

As we walk to the van I still can't quite grasp,
The fact your right here (nervous) but with me at last.
We get in the van and gaze at one another,
Recovering old memories and excited to see what we can rediscover.

Now we spend our time promising and flattering, urging assurance were both serious but still we're battling.

To sum it all up life is risky, knowing its take it or leave it just gets tricky.
But know this I'm here to stay,
Your making life amazing and better each day.

Your not sure I can see why, I will always hold you with regards which are above sky high.
I'll show you all I ever wanted is to be by your side,
Just sharing good times and a long loving roller coaster life ride.

Mike Herne 18.8.15

As my mind twists and turns Deep within inside, My Broken soul has no were to run away and hide.


From all these fear’s my tears create from running down my eye’s, If only I was taught how to laugh then maybe these tears would be a memory I’ll never ever want to be lost.


I’m scared of loneliness I’ve got no one there to love my heart I don’t even have my name on any ones Christmas card.


I’ve lost everything every one I’ve ever loved i took for granted everything they did for me back in the past


The future holds nothing for me but pain trapping me in the the dark. My poor souls crying out can you help me because I’m lost, can you fill this emptiness that I’m feeling in my heart.


I just want it to stop. I don’t want it to ro. I don’t want it to take away the little happiness I have left in my heart.


Because if it’s taken away it will be gone it will be lost, It will never come back to my broken beating heart.


I hope you like my honesty I just don’t know where to start. I’m only looking for love that thing that protects and always warms up your Heart.



Jidos Reality 13.10.11

I remember when you called me and whispered in my ear, sweet words that were heart breaking my tears were filled with fear.



Second’s turned into minutes and with a blink of an eye you had forgot about all those years. Cuddles and Love making look at what pain they have brought dear oh! Dear.



The sun brings light to half of the earth, whilst the other half is dark. What happened to the laughter how can that memory be lost?



I see the problem now there will never be no trust, there will be no more wishes coming out from the whishing ***.



Thought my life was beginning now it feels like it’s stopped, the road is not straight it’s all bendy and rough.



The more I think about it! It gets harder its tough Dropped to the bottom were everything seems to stop.



If only Candy Tasted Sweet would the penny have Dropped?



Jidos Reality 15.6.12

They say Poetry can alter moods and Talk to you, It can take a Word and make it get through to you.


Make you understand this Imagination that’s so Close to you, forever word Spoken sometimes a heart is broken.


Poetry is Deep it starts because your heart is soul searching for something that’s Amazing  to the Questions that you asking.


Creating a Dream that all your wishes come out Rushing with this Pen and Pad I can express myself I can let you know if I’m Happy or Sad.


I can take a Word and bring Meaning to it I can make you understand what it means to me.


You can Read it all day I’ll be Writing all Night. And by the Time I finish this  Page would have come alive. I hope you like my Poetry loads because it’s the only talent I got this world to show.


So Please hold your Breath whilst I Read to You Take this Pen I’m holding let me give it to you.


This is my type of Poetry and I Thank You.


Jidos Reality 2.9.11

There is something that i need to let u know, you not only my best mate you are my lover, the only happiness my heart knows.
  

You are the reason I smile it is amazing when you hold me tight, when you cuddle up to me all day and every night. This smile is a memory that makes me feel wanted all the time.
  

Every time u touch me I feel a rush deep within my soul, I care for you and I love the trust that we have built.
  

You are my one and only you are my everything my world. From the first day until today and every other day i will always love you and make sure you are ok.

  

Want to hold you when you are lonely and be the reason you smile, I will always be there for you when every you need a shoulder to cry on.  
  

Love you and only you always  
  

jidos reality

Destiny is a word filled with hope and wishers that our dreams come true one day. From every laughter to every tear that is filled with every emotion that some time brings out the fear.



The same fear you have to feel all your life. So you can understand and become friends with that special thing they call happiness.


With every breath that we take and every step that we make and all the lye’s and the truth that we tell every day.



We should never worry it’s not scary it’s okay, our destiny will come around one day. It will knock on your door step and look you in the face. And show you there’s more to life than living it and worrying about thing’s every day.


Because not everything is so bad everything will be okay. My destiny’s not my option it’s just a story on this page.


Just remember the things the same emotions that scare us are the same.
Our tears are lovely they tell a story that says I wish I knew my destiny, so I can prepare for the next day.


Not to make the same mistake I did that was just yesterday, the same day i thought today will be a better would be a much day.  



Jidos Reality 27.9.11

His toned good looks defined his face. His jaw dropping Chin has finally found its place. Tom’s Chin is amazing it could never be replaced.


It’s truly a gem defiantly one of a kind. Once you lay your eyes on it you will never forget it.


You will always sit there and wonder how he got it. How would his life be if I cast a spell and made him miss it?


Amelia would not be happy if I made it look as small as a zit. With a Chin like that you know it will always take you places.



I first saw it in Borne Identity attached to Mat Damien’s different faces.
It got me thinking that Tom’s Chin is actually living, and moving around multiplying and breeding.


Because wants it got you hooked there’s no escaping this big Chin.
The 8th wonder of the world hope you enjoy the life of Tom’s Chin


Jidos Reality 7.9.11

If you think about it? Why did the chicken cross the road? How many people have you meet in your life? Is a question you cannot answer! But what you can answer is the memories of those you miss and no good or bad memories that would have built your character made you who you are today.

  
But one got to think about the reality! Outside the box it’s not about Now or when, or were, or why! It’s about hope they say time is a healer I beg to differ healing begins with in yourself, take control of your thoughts manage them like how you prepare your bath put the plug in Run your water till it’s nice and warm take your clothes of and jump in the bath.

The same concept works with your thoughts and feelings take control and feelings take control you cry when you happy you cry when you sad! But the two have 2 things in common your tears filled with memories and an Ocean filled with emotions.
  
I’m running going faster and faster not stopping or thinking to tie my shoe lace Next thing I know the thought kicks in! as I look down I need to stop and tie my Shoe laces as I slow down I stop and realize I have tripped over and landed on my face DISAPOINTMENT And anger is the first emotion I feel.
  
But now this accident has happened! All I can do is pick myself up and clean up my face and tie my shoe laces. Wants its broken all you can try and do is try to fix it or move on! Just like a beggar or a *** living on the street moving from one place to another just to survive it’s the same with your life surroundings it’s hard but you have to move on to take that control and mend your broken heart and thoughts you think you have it hard!

But just think for a moment imagine been BLIND Can never see your loved ones. Or been “DEAF” Can’t hear the whispers! Oh no feet or hands can’t walk we must understand we are all unique in a certain way and should not judge our selves’ against others around us!

Be pleased for your life you have because once you lose your personality through judgment or depression that hole only gets Deeper, Darker, And Cold then it kicks in the chain reaction. Doctors Medication! Deeper and Deeper it gets.
Your mind becomes like a rubix cube how to fix it now? It takes DAYS, HOURS, YEARS To fix it if you see or feel that hole in the distance change your path so
to avoid it.

And you won’t find the truth or answers to your Questions. Or the light at the end of the door! NO you won’t find them they will find you when the time is right. People are absolutely “amazing” some good some nasty you don’t feel it but you tend to take a bit of they personality which makes you learn and find you’re self
so be careful with who you meet and how you react in situations Live for today and Pray for tomorrow.  
  


Jidos Reality 26.8.11

For every smile and every cuddle from every wish to every tingle. Happiness creates a memory that will never be missed.    

Kept close to your heart where happiness is never lost. You always make me smile when I’m crying and text me when I feel lonely late at night.    

The way you look into my eyes and make me smile it’s so nice. You’re truly amazing and one of a kind.  

Want to hold you and tell you I love that smile. Happiness is all I feel because you’re in my life.    
Angels and roses, Sweet candles all night, you asked me to write you this poem to show you how I feel.    

Happiness is lovely so thank you for what you have done. Let me know how to win your heart because I want you.    

For this happiness it will never be missed.    

Jidos reality 11.8.11

I express my emotions with a mirror picture of myself in a happy place. When the truth is that the emotion I might or may be feeling is filled with rage And Anger.

How can one keep this up? Only for so long trying to get out of this rabbits hole only gets harder and harder as the more the rabbit tries the weaker it gets.

To understand my strength i must become friends with my weakness guiding my Negative thoughts through this hard time. To become friends with my positive feelings set them free and let the two become one, I have to find the balance or will end up like humpty dumpty who fell of the wall.

Emotions shatted with no one to pick the pieces up! I can’t hate can only forgive and forget and as I do I expect you to it’s the principle you would think? But the world is not so round.

The calm water on a Sunday morning may seem like that but beneath this place of calm water is utter madness and chaos.

Thoughts take control take your clothes off jump in the water go under and control this chaos that can’t be seen from where I’m standing. My mind is racing like a flock of geese flying north away from the winter to some were nice and warm.

Which path should I take? Don’t want to go the wrong way or hard way because the more it races the more they get consumed by!

“PANNIC” “GUILT” “HAPPINESS” “SUCCSESS" You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house iv been labeled i should go and get a bar code with my MED Numbers tattooed all over my body! I’m not a leader or a follower but I am only human just like you and everyone else.

My thoughts have now become my Drug addiction craving for this and that I’m addicted for wanting to be loved and respected, Love is a big word but feels and brings out a lot of pain and respect for one’s self. Do you believe in love or just the thought of having a peace of mind Love and anger are just thoughts that tend to affect our daily moods.


Can one describe how your mind and heart works with out laughing or crying? I don’t think so! Like getting up in the morning brushing your teeth making your dinner then going back to sleep. This “DEPRETION” And feelings of loneliness becomes a habit in your daily life.

  I then think that this habit needs to change like reading a novel you have to change to the next page to know how the story goes or ends! So with this illness I’ve got to change this page so that these days next time i take a bed time story book it will have a happy ENDING.

Jidos Reality 18.2.2010

The bottle is open, the rizzla rolled, the glass is half empty now the story’s told. The days are long and the nights are short, look at that drunk he can’t even walk, let alone talk.


  
He seems to drink all his memories away, hopping that the alcohol will take he’s tears away.


His stomachs rumbling and his mouth is hungry, He’s got three pounds in he’s pocket, that’s okay he’ll be round the alcohol store in a hurry.



His therapy sessions are long and boring He’s asked: Do you like feeling like this every morning!


What started out as a hobby has become a thirst? He knows deep down inside he will never be missed. Not even by the newsagent or the drunks that sleep in the dirt.


Or by the cold lonely mornings or the alcohol he sips or the smile and thing’s That he wished he would never missed.



Addiction needs help, not a story that twist’s. It needs love and understanding, so would you be the first?


Jidos reality 12.10.11

So tell me tell me what you thinking, we always used to share our dreams together. Thoughts mixing, touching so tingling, dreaming and wishing.


Late night talks, smiling and cuddling, turning me one every time we start kissing, blood rushing through our veins, exploding and needing.  


Love’s got us hooked, wanting and breathing Passing minutes lost in each other’s eyes It’s true you’re amazing, loving your style; it’s true you got me hooked and craving.


Thank you for my wish, I’ve been praying and waiting No more lonely days or dark nights with tears and memories just raining.      


Because you’re my baby girl It’s true you’re amazing, *******, love making, under the moon light.


Trust bonding your soft skin against mine, got you blushing and whispering Needing and holding, grabbing so tempting.  

So tell me what you’re thinking, because you’re truly amazing.

Jidos reality 04.08.11.

It’s sad how you make me smile It’s amazing how you make me cry. Its lush all this rush is taking my memories to a place called trust.  


Happy days and confusion “This is Jido’s Reality" I thought you knew this. Can we please take some time to read this?    


I’m a poet I never thought I ever knew this it’s amazing So special and beautiful  what you can do with a pen and a pad Such a talent, how can he do this?    


It was never ever going to be a promise but a wish.   I really thank you, I told you so a cuddle never misses a promise, hope you like this.


Jido’s reality 30.7.11

Thank you for the smile you put on my face. Thank you for showing me my dreams, such a beautiful place.  


You held my hand when I cried and said ‘don’t worry, everything will be alright’.


You saved my life and I thank you for this and I pray and hope you get your every wish.  


The things you did and the things you said, such a beautiful memory, truly blessed.


I wrote this poem saying thank you for everything you did, you will be missed.
Your friend,  Majid.

Jidos Reality 16.6.11

To express every emotion I feel. To understand the smile that it brings.


To cry at the thought, I would have never thought she would have made me see there are dreams.


She held my hand when I cried and when I smiled. She never ever made me scream.


You never ever had to care for someone you never knew. I’ll miss you loads, I don’t care what anyone thinks.


If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here saying these things I would be lost, wishing for a dream.


So thank you for being my friend, thank you for making me see. To my friend, you will always be close to my heart where my happy thoughts live.

Jidos Reality 7.7.12

When I go away I will think of you every day.

When I see your face my heart starts to race.

I’ll miss our late night calls I’ll never ever let you fall.

Thanks for listening to my heart, it’s not long our friendship will be apart.

You’ll always have a friend in me, the crazy girl they call Staci.

Through fun and fears, laughs and tears I treasure our time, the days and years.

Jido

I feel inspired by your smile, the way we kiss and cuddle up late at night.


The way you hold me close when I cry. And wrap me up with your angel wings all the time.


The walks we take at night! Look what a beautiful moonlight

with you there’s no stress or silly mind games! It’s always a different day surprise me she says?  


Jidos Reality 26.2.11

Some days I start thinking about thing’s, things that make me fall asleep in my dreams. Every day is a new story, that’s how my life seems.

I got to close this chapter to wake up from this dream. It’s easier said than done, that’s how it seems. Pop a pill or two and my thoughts become clean.


Then I stop and think? How should I change this thing? My life’s a blessing, no more thoughts that scream.

I bought a bunch of roses and even got you a ring. No, she says. Then I start to think, what a stupid thing. I should have thought first before buying this ring. And for those roses, well that’s another thing.


Maybe I should close my eyes and count to three. Then open them up, this maze in my mind my thoughts become free. I should get a tattoo labeled someone help me.

People stop and stare, whispering, pointing fingers at me. I don’t really care my thoughts are now free.

Next time you come around and want to see me. I’ll be pointing my finger at you not me.

It’s such a funny place, the places I’ve been. It’s such a strange view, which my eyes have seen. Have you ever felt weak at the knees?

You find it hard to understand, is it all about me! I’ve got to take a walk to find the magic tree. Lay down on my back watch the birds fly free.

This weekend was lovely, no one there for me. Nothing but the sun, the beach and the sound of waves around me.

Jidos Reality 13.2.11

Today seems a bit different, something’s happened! It’s so strange this feeling, there’s more to life than thinking.  It’s easier said than done, you cannot stop thinking but you can control your feelings about what you thinking.



Are you dreaming? Is it real? That life is holding you with cuddles of thoughts filled with pain and sorrow and anger, laughter seems to be lost.



I feel alone, like my shadow late at night. Wondering around trying to find a little light.



And just for the moment I see that light in the distance, my pace starts speeding up as my thoughts are going to connect with this light. Where my shadow could be seen just for a moment in this dark time.



But the closer I get the harder and further it seems. Rain drops start falling slowing me down! I keep going on and my thoughts tell me don’t let the rain stop you Think.



Determination. I will succeed and finally I reach this little light and all that seemed bad is filled with happiness.

JidosReality

I cannot describe the feeling of anticipation, waiting like in a food restaurant wondering!  Seen all there’s people munching. Drinking they fine wines away, all I can feel is the smell of the food around me.


I’ve been told my order will be out soon, not sure what it is?    The menu is in French I have this feeling of desperation! Wondering if what I’ve ordered would be good news to my palate.


Like been told you were adopted waiting on that park bench to meet your mom and dad for the first time. The time seems to go slow as you look around! Is that them? Hearts racing with anticipation.


I know what I want the outcome to be, but feel disappointed and sad at the thought that what I want to be would not be. See now I’m thinking why am I causing this emotion of lose through anticipating the worst outcome.


Fatigue and tired my brain becomes as these thoughts of been disappointed take’s over my mood. ~TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK~ the grandfather clock ticks but never stops i suppose it does in a way when you fall asleep.


Because for that moment your heart beats. Your brain is telling your body breath. As normality become thoughts. I now enter this dream this dream like state of emotion makes me remember that my mind is my temple.


It’s absolutely amazing this place I’m in. strange things in the world that my eyes have seen. And like a shadow fading in the distance light of this special place.    My thoughts stop been images and go back into my mind for only me to feel.


~ How Delighted ~ I am for waking up in the morning and breathing that first breath of life I will live for today and pray for tomorrow.

JidOs Reality 1.2.11

Respect could be described as a suttle word to describe the liar in yourself were does it begin?


Within our own bubble or out of your comfort zone, one man’s likes could be another man’s dislikes.


In such a situation respect is the one thing that has to bring the two together bonding in such a way that it brings smile to our faces.


Good morning mam would you like to take a seat? Please I must insist! That was the conversation I had the other day.


When an old lady jumped onto the bus with no were to sit down, no she said but thank you.


So we had bonded with that i stood up and offered my seat and as she sat down she looked at me and smiled and with a sweat voice she said thank you young man.


Funny faces on the bus looking at me! But I never cared at they Thoughts, I was happy with the respect I had shown the dear old lady.


Jidos Reality 8.1.10

Trouble Memories have made us today molded our character and minds created this un for seen future we have left behind.


Cause and effect I think! I lost 6 weeks of my life but gained a moment of reality with a mixed feeling of acceptance with one’s self.


Covered in a storm of happiness wish I had a camera to capture this feeling of completion, as my mind becomes one with my soul.


Like picking up my Knife and Fork cutting into this piece of stake that’s covered in mushroom sauce.


Thinking been waiting for this moment for some time, and as I take my first bite my smile gets a moment of clarity with its self.


Watching the sun set on a quiet Sunday morning, and a warm summers evening, Tingling moments of spontaneous randomness.


My sadness has become my happiness filled with days of loneliness watching the time pass by wondering when will I realize I’ve found myself.


Complete is the suttle word that comes to mind! At peace at last with these Trouble Memory’s.

  
Jidos Reality 1.1.10

Happy days often seem like lazy days taking absolutely no account of the time passing by, Blinded by the memory of happiness which seems to have been lost.


Shadowed and over taken over by the feeling of guilt and failure, I’ve come to terms with my illness.


My compassion to be more accretive with myself has grown, like a little baby who’s found the beauty of taking its first steps feels so pure and natural.


To make the same mistake twice would shawley make me a fool, a fool i was once always craved to be happy.


When i was little growing up in a situation were to be loved and cuddled, was almost to impossible to ask.


But for that second when you felt that love you would spend the rest of your day smiling, I found happiness and could not understand it so I let it go.


Now I’m ready and it’s too late because she’s gone and never coming back.


Jidos Reality 2.1.10

Life what an amazing word to give such a precious feeling we feel each day,

To breath to touch to smile I’ve laughed and cried in my dreams in my sleep all day every week.

  
Today’s another day just like yesterday and i pray and thank you for tomorrow, we truly are blessed without the little ant there would be no me.

  
Scared by sadness I see around me, my heart turns to stone, crumbling at every tear I see.

  
With one loved another is gone, another is born far away in a land of pure ecstasy,

Happiness cannot be a word I would use when I held your little body in my arms.

  
Happiness would be the feeling rushing through my every thought’s, but life is the word I would use so I say I pray for today and thank you for tomorrow.

  
Jidos Reality 7.1.10

I’m a plumb in a Fruit Basket that’s out of control, Two Apples ones green because the Banana forgot that he smelt see he was so old.

The Grape would always sit on its own in the corner in the cold, The Orange could never peel it’s self so the story goes.

The Kiwis always got a twin he aint really in a rush to want to go, Mangos getting weaker as they feel the muscles grow.

Crunch getting over taken by the hour glass that never grows, Sand dunes created by the sweet taste of the Tangerines we all loved to know.

Fruit salad created by the imagination our taste buds have grown to know Pears trying to mingle in this fruit basket that’s getting out of control.

See the birds all sing to the sweet taste of the Nectarines that I’m missing just thought you should know.

This fruit basket is getting heavy i can’t carry it anymore; I’m a Plumb in a fruit basket that’s gone out of control.

JidosReality 7.5.11

Just to let you know how you make me feel what you make me do, the love you give cannot be replaced your love is one in a million.

You make me smile all day and make my heart speak, Personality and the things you do makes me feel loved and yes I love you two.

Your smile your trust it goes on and on it gives me a good feeling all day long, I’ll be more than your brother I’ll be your best friend.

I’ll always hold you when you thinking about something that may hurt you, you my little sister and nothing will ever change that.

Happiness is a dream I would always with for you, because it’s true you my sister and i loves you two.

Jidos Reality 16.7.11

We touch I feel a rush so much it makes me blush you make me want to hold you close to my heart and catch all your tear drops.
  
Make them smile and feel amazing keep holding onto this trust, your kiss is a day dream as our lips start to touch.
  
This rush is tingling our *** is always banging; I tell you I love you and you tell me you love me two.
  
Its amazing when we holding and it feels so nice been in you, I love it when you scream and take me to a place deep within.
  
My tough has me thinking twisting as it thinks! I think we should agree your ***** tastes so sweet.
  
What style should we do? ******* makes you weak I love it when you grab me and wrap your legs around me.
  
We sweating with loads of sexing moaning as you feel it, the trick was another world that had your heart beat blushing.

Jidos Reality 5.8.12

Happiness is the price I had to pay for my smile it came along and all it did was made me cry.

The smile the twinkle in my eye the days when I thought I was by myself, the medication the mad house talking to a mouse no answer back because I was lost.

The sound felt so soft a Cold Chill running away very fast, Thoughts leaving my head taking me back to the past.

Reminding me that I could never be loved I would always be starved I looked for happiness but all I lost was love.

Found it hard to trust begun to feed on anger my world was lost in the past, I hate happiness it crushed my heart very hard.

I open my eyes but all I see is the dark, no light at the end but a cold door waiting for me to pass.

Hears the key there’s no rush it will take it’s time and eat away at my broken beating heart.

Happiness is a word I want to leave in the past.

Jidos Reality 15.10.12

Saw you’re soul and I ripped it out, Took your wish and you’re smile your personality was trapped in a world that would always make it cry.

Your mind was mine I confused it every time, I locked it in a maze were rage would visit all the time.

Make you run into a corner to some were you could never hide, what a life with no smiles only tears that never cry.

Only then we wonder why? Why should we ever try? Worry and stress every time I say goodbye.

Oh! Why do “I Hate You” I wonder why? You selfish so I came back to abduct your smile, and replace it with loads of many evil cry’s.

There’s no love Bites tonight only padded cells that come alive, I hope you ready to fight your weakness is my anger that feeds me every time.

I sit back and smile and hold you with my evil eyes take every emotion that has ever crossed your life.

Destroy every feeling that you have ever felt in-side, I hate you with a passion you the last word in this chapter of my life I wonder why?

Jidos Reality 11.8.12

What a promise this is a wish come true, I don’t have to worry about bills or borrowing money of you.

I don’t have to worry about waiting for a bus when I’m in a rush when it’s raining, whilst I’m watching you drive pass.

No fuss no more empty stomach that’s the past, No more beans on toast I’m loving  my Sunday roasts All my food is now fresh not four days old.

I never saw it coming and it did, and I never run i waited for this moment i always hoped that it would come and now it’s in my life ill make sure it’s never gone.

I hope you read what I’m writing and understand where it’s from, A promise is a gift a wish that comes along it will always be lost my a memory that feels wrong.

A thought in my head because my heart has just turned around its looked at the truth through the eyes of the lies in the dark.

My mind is amazing it understands all this love from my heart; they will both be there together from the end till the start.

Jidos Reality 25.10.11

Through thick and thin pennies over taking this piggy bank bin, still living in the gutter were the waste man lives.

Overdraft has the bank got you searching for change, for many penny’s” paper chasing for tobacco that I need to roll.

Had wash because I’m in a rush, I really miss soaking up when I’m  washing needing a bath.

Off to do my shopping won’t you wish me good luck, I had to budget with this £5 pounds i just won on a scratch card.

It won’t take me far but it will stop my stomach from feeling like it’s been torn up into many little looking scars.

It will stop my stomach from rumbling just before it thinks it’s going to starve, I don’t really know where to start this situation hurts me so much.

Searching for some hope that’s lost some were in the dark through thick and thin living a life that’s full of sin.

Searching for left over’s going through my neighbor’s bin.

Jidos Reality 22.7.12

Think you’ve been through hell? Let me tell you a story that I think I should tell, this aint a pretty world when you living in hell.

No washing machine to wash your clothes because they smell the things I’ve been through were so hard can you tell.

Had nothing to eat had no body to tell, only ever lied had no one I could tell, the problems in my life that were crazy made me feeling so sad.

I hope you happy and you glad, Aint paid my rent for months now my landlords going mad, no I’m not greedy I’m just puzzled I’m sad.

I tried to get a Job but no interview because i smell, no work experience check my c.v its blank.

Can’t wait for my dinner got some backed beans in a can, as for desert well that’s what you get for living in hell.

So that’s my story that I felt I should tell.

Jidos Reality 9.8.11

Woke up this morning to find London on fire, and not the homeless little kids with tears in they eyes.

They stomachs are so empty all they attract are fly’s; they’ll never go to school and remember that smile.

London’s on fire with smoke clouding the sky, you all a bunch of funny people can’t you hear the little homeless children Cry”

This poverty is a disease it eats away like a parasite, she’s only 12 years old and she’s lost her mom and dad.

She’s got 2 brothers and 1 sister to look after it’s so sad, shell never be able to open up a book and read and grow up to be a doctor, and never worry about greed.

Shell walk for 5 hours just to find them something to eat, It hurts all her knees, all this walking and stressing she never prayed for this.

But she never gives up she’s always strong never weak, Poverty is a curse can’t you listen to me.

  
Jidos Reality 10.8.11

Peaches and happy days, It’s lush; we can be ourselves around each other. Like a puzzle; each piece fits

the heart consumed Lost in time, where every second counts.

Hours pass by, A Kodak moment, capturing your sweet smile

Consumed in a memory Kept close to your heart now and forever

it’s a Polaroid picture of a sunset and moonlight just for xu

Jidos reality

Crazy I’ve been told; Close to sanity was never a choice or an option, the future held nothing.

See my glass is never half full or empty it’s a place in time where only this glass seems to make sense.

One wrong crazy move or thought, would cause such a reaction that the glass would shatter into multiple personalities Where one would get lost indeed.

This is not a family adventure when Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde become one Fighting to bring out each ones character.

Some turn to drugs, others turn to abuse with not a care in the world about who they hurt.

See it’s such a sad situation to be in a world that allows no sense to be made of it, and then takes you away from the reality of one’s self belief.

One day I’m normal, the next I’m playing Russian roulette with not one but everyone’s emotions.

Like a duck Calm on the top but disturbed and chaotic underneath Uncontrollable feelings of madness.

When? Why me? How come?

It is true indeed, I am crazy Take this glass and look after it, before it shatters even more.

Jidos Reality 23.1.11

It cannot be reality this misshapen scenes of perspective that I have.
Warped feelings of paranoia, against my surroundings.

  
It’s a circle so they tell me, of feelings so hard to control swallow a pill to combat the illness be grateful for small mercies.

  
It cannot be the world as it really is this void of depression that surfaces. I fight the feelings with gusto, and strive to pass the test battling against the circle of hardship.

  
The feeling’s inside are so real, keep taking the tablets they say ~~ you not as bad as some ~~ cannot believe I am here, this place were the (LUNITICS) live.

  
Pale faces stare back at me, does he work hear? Numbered by medication, devoid of understanding these feelings are not my fault!

  
Stay of the alcohol and you’ll be alright. Think of those worse of then yourself. I can live with this now, this enemies of my emotions.

I am not all woe and misgivings I can laugh! I may be injured but I can be happy.

This sickness is an unfortunate curse but I can live and learn and love my fractured mind as a friend ~~ REALITY ~~

Jidos Reality 23.1.11

Dreams are emotions that run the feelings one can only relate to, controlling pure lust with mixed feelings of illusions.

Strange places we get taken to another world were the ~ Boogie ~ man stays protected by the sweet feeling of peace and control.

  
Flying all around without the outcome of falling, wired people chasing you with all sciences under deep control, paralyzed by the feeling of self-control.

  
Afraid to run but amused by the beauty, deep into the rabbit’s hole you go! From ~ ALICE IN WONDER LAND TO HUMPTY DUMPTY ~

something so pure your brain starts to ****** as the the scence of control starts to take over.

  
Eyes wide shut heart beating faster like the rabbit and tortoise race, what a strange place to be so peacefully uncontrollable.

  
Hypnotised in the mind with joy with joy mixed sorrow. And then it happens awake to the real world just for a few seconds reality kicks in.

And the dream was a journey your mind had to take, till another day I’ll be waiting for another night ~~ DREAMS ~~

Jidos Reality 21.1.11

Confusion is not as complicated as it seems to be, control mixed with happy and crazy but lonely feelings of memories lost in a maze of your own world.

How can someone help me when they can’t and would probably never understand how every memory I have changers at how my life is?

It’s an unexplained but sad situation one has to deal with, stop all the stressing and everything will be okay!

  
Feelings shattered and broken pick yourself up they say? What of those memories I cant pick up because I’m blinded by the anger consuming my every emotion to this situation.

You expect them to understand in a way that makes you feel comfortable, but the truth is that is not how it works.

  
Help yourself they tell you, be positive and find your broken mind and look after it like how your mom looked after you when you were just a little baby.

  
It’s not fair on us as we will never be normal, but can only be honest. So with this I will try to love and become friends with my fractured mind and look after it for as long as I am alive ~ CONFUSION ~

  
Jidos Reality 21.1.11

Passion is a gift I have inherited from following my heart and listing to my conscious.

Becoming friends with my shadow cuddling these happy days, with memories of the past.

Mixed with visions of the future, trapped in a world filled of passion and pain, one must take a moment to ponder ~ How must one feel when you are deserted by those close to your heart ~

  
To be lonely is what I fear most but the passion I have deep within me keeps my heart alive.

  
With every beat each moment counts, and every step taken becomes a different story in this chapter in my life.

I was a baby once and learned how to cry, now I’m a dad I wake up with a smile, I tend to loose myself patiently overtaken by this feeling of self guilt.

  
Heartbroken shredded to pieces some of them too small to pick up cause the memories are too hard to control.

Now I must be that baby again and stop crying and passionately love my broken mind.

Jidos Reality 16.1.11

Trust has to be the life of forgiveness; words like sorry, if only don’t make any meaning to the emotion of the words spoken. Mistakes often tend to creep up and happen somehow without realizing it, ***** the life out of trust.


Causing such a situation where to forgive and forget becomes an option not so easily felt or done. Almost totally impossible I did things that I took for granted forgot that moment of spontaneous happiness I can’t turn back time but can only hope that time could be a healer.


Heartbroken thoughts shattered running wild in my head all trapped in a bubble of plastic. Miss that sweet smell of roses in the morning, now it’s cold and lonely mornings, forgiveness is all I want you to see and feel.



I Put these sorrow times away close this cupboard cause the skeletons have been and gone. The key to solving this situation is to learn to trust yourself first then you can trust and love those you care for.


If there is forgiveness the will always be happiness


Jidod Reality 16.1.11

I can’t understand a word that comes out of your mouth.
I won’t even take the time to figure you out.

All there’s story’s you make up what’s that chapter about? Why you go to lie every time you open your mouth.

The truth always comes out that’s what a friend is all about.
Not the lie’s or the things that you always talking about.

Remember the story about the boy who cried Wolf? Well he aint crying no more he’s been taken away by the wolf.

All you seem to do is dig  yourself a bigger and darker hole.
Whether you like it or not I think you should be told.

Playing with people’s emotions like you on a Rolla Costa. Every time that you seem to speak and the lies you trying to teach you need to go to confession and tell the priest what you did.

That every time you open your mouth. You always lie through your teeth, one day you will get up and start to tell the Truth”

By the time that day comes I would have finished writing this poem for you.

Jidos Reality 20.9.11

Little Jonny Boy could never see it coming, he always spend his life looking back as he was running.

See his world was not a picture in a story that would ever excite him, His past switched places with his future so it could come back and bite him.

He runs away like a bat searching for light, only sounds and vibrations could ever save his life.

Vibrations coming around from every different side little Jonny Boy could never see it coming thought his life was cursed because it never felt right.

You talk about a dream let me show you what it feels like in-side, The sofa never moved he could only sleep on it every night on his side.

See he cried in a dream that chose to come into his life, hid past was now smiling as it held him close and tight.

Guiding him close to the cold thing little Jonny Boy never understood why the birds sing, in the afternoon searching for they dreams.

His mouth was always cold his words were never clean, sleeping on the sofa with thunder storms chasing him.

Jidos Reality 1.8.12

Not a problem that’s okay not to worry as long as you happy what else can I say, as long as you smile I’ll always be happy in twisted way.

Like making toast and freezing it for another day, Dammm that was mad you were crazy in a different way.

We were mixed like a bag of nuts our world always moved so fast, like water coming around getting lost moving too fast.

Whilst you try to read a book you know nothing about, you used to shout out loud every time the world tried to play.

Our thoughts became confused, mentally abused, the look in your eyes has me feeling weak deep within in-side.

Here’s a couple of cuddles and some smiles to make you feel nice that’s okay you don’t have to say.

You don’t even have to speak or show me what you think, I’ll hold on to your lonely heart and listen to it beat.

Jidos Reality

Temptation well there’s never second guessing she looks so beautiful I want to get her sweating.

Rip all her clothes of so I can get her to start ******* no questions asked she knows that well be sexing.

In the shower now it’s wet and I’m caressing texting all day ******* she aint messing, I got her tingling got her needing and wanting.

The way she’s breathing is so tempting oh it’s so ****, the way she plays with her hair and smiles when we talking.

Seems to get her heart beat racing and calling, she loves four play weather it’s at night or in the morning.

She’s always up for trying something new see she’s never boring, Flip her over pick her up against the wall shell be moaning.

I got goose bumps running down her back like it’s snowing, Her blood is boiling over see I’m about to transform her.

She wants to do nasty things she’s tempting me to control her, grab her hair and pull it back and show her I do love her.

Jidos Reality 1.9.11

The cold touch of the deserts sand, the whisper on my skin from the suns heat.

The lonely feeling of the lost wind. The little gecko pacing fast on its small feet.

The shade holding on to the only tree, the blue sky smiles as the sun shines.

The brown color of the sand waters run away and left this land as far away as it can.

This desert is alive there’s nothing hear but sadness and pain become friends with the heat and it will spare your heart beat.

Sand Dunes confusing you as far as your little eyes can see, you can shout and scream and wonder why nobody thinks?

You feel like you trapped in a dream with only a bottle of water to make you feel.

If it’s not the desert the sun or the heat your life is about to be complete.

JidosReality

Happy Birthday to you may all your wishers and dreams come true, you truly amazing one of a kind your hearts filled with love that always makes me smile.

Every thought you feel and think makes me want to return the love back, you changed my life and I will always love and thank you for that.

You like my mom you like my best mate always there when I need someone to brighten up my day.

I remember when I was sick and found everything so hard, you always seem to find a way to bring my smile out.

Its funny there’s days how everything has changed; I’m much a happier person because of the things you said.

Its true and I’m proud and happy to tell you that you can always count on me, whenever you need to.

Writing this poem is the only way i can tell you.

Jidos Reality 22.9.11

It feels slow like a rollercoaster watching the world moving by as it gets closer.

A sweet lemon trying to find its taste buds, handpicked with eords falling out the sky.

Each letter brining meaning to the shape of its style as we wonder and look up so many words coming alive.

Bringing every color we have seen ridding on a rainbow let’s watch the magic in the sky.

Snowflakes falling down shape changing as we smile, the sweet smell of lily’s growing in the war summer heat.

Butterflies and Bees spending they day collecting nectar, the lovely sound of the water running down the river.

Salmon trying to swim upstream to create that lovely gift called life.

Jidos Reality 12.8.12

Twinkle twinkle little star humpty dumpty fell a bit hard rocker by baby on the tree top see crusty the clown never knew when to stop.

Up above the world we smile little red riding hood should have learned how to ride, and get far away from the wolf  that made her cry.

Three blind mice could never play only hide from the farmer’s wife who was always holding a knife.

See she was ****** she never cared they were blind. Until the three little pigs came running came along and tried to blow her house down.

With marry who had a little lamb that was the plan. But Goldie lox came up with another plan she took the spider and washed it down the drain.

She had the munchies she found the roach she had dropped, broke into the house ate all the porridge ate the lot.

The bears went crazy like everything looked hazy bed broken food missing someone was searching?

Old mother Hubbard spend all her life searching every cupboard, But she lived in a shoe who would of knew nursery rhymes could twist you.

Jidos Reality 15.9.12

I’ve been thinking about us I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve been thinking about you and everything we both miss.

The love in your heart makes all my emotions blush your kiss and your touch were locked away deep in my heart.

The magic we feel in your voice when you speak, the look in your eyes it’s amazing so deep so peaceful and calm they tell a story that’s so sweet.

Just like a red rose you are truly unique, the way you bite your lip when i hold you and pull you close to me.

It’s a memory that makes my heart beat buzz like a bee, Can you see what I see the havens opening up letting all the angels go free.

Here’s a kiss just for you and yes I do love you two. You the world to my breath the goose bumps on my neck.

Your style is amazing what a wonderful craving, The sparkle in you eye is like a puzzle that fits.

You the rush to my touch the lock to our trust, the imagination to this dream that we set free.

So i sat down a wrote something for you all from me, so this love letter I wrote is because I’ve been Thinking about You”

Jidos Reality 9.8.12

I’ve been thinking about you and the things that you do, I really like you loads and I want to be with you.

Want to hold you when you lonely and be the reason you smile I want to be the one there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.

I’ve never felt so happy since you’ve been in my life, you amazing and Beautiful I just need to tell you.

I want you to trust me and know I’m always there for you, I want to be your lover and your best mate for life, and I want to hold you close to me all night.

My love just want to let you know you make me tingle in-side, The cuddles we have are so lovely they nice, I want to always catch that tear and tell you everything will be alright.

I know things aren’t simple that’s not how they supposed to be, but if we try we can share this moment just you and me.

Jido Reality 5.3.10