Finally as the dust settles over my wasted heart
the numbness claims me.
Blank eyes, glazed stare.
Thank God.
No more feeling.
No more fighting.
Just complete and utter surrender.
No hope, no sadness, no fear.
Slowly as the storm dies down
and my brain refuses to churn anymore
I fall into the abyss of indifference.
No focus, no anxiety
just nothingness.
It's all gone, all turning a pale shade of gray.
Gray is nice.
No more of the over-stimulation.
Silence.
The screaming in my head has stopped,
No longer even a whisper.
No guilt, no regret.
Nothing on either side of the spectrum,
no fierce hate, no intense longing.
I'm drinking up this silence.
Dreading the moment the screaming will return.
But even that dread is deadened,
fading so fully it almost doesn't exist.