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Jordan Frances May 2014
Please forget about me
Things change
Quicker than I care to believe
And I have too.

I am not happy anymore
I am bitter and afraid
That every relationship I forge
Will suddenly deteriorate.

I pushed everyone away
But one of the few who remained
Might be very sick with cancer
Why does this keep happening?
It is not fair that for years
I lost fewer people
Than I have in the past eight months.

What if
I'm just not meant to be okay?
Jordan Frances May 2014
Did you ever know me?
We were inseparable
Walking through flourishing fields
I was always "your girl"
But we began to drift.

Did you ever know me?
I never let you see
The heinous parts of the
Life I really led.
It was like specks of dirt stuck underneath fingernails
And I could never get it out.

Did you ever know me?
I would have gone to the moon and back
Just to see your face one more time.
Why do I feel so guilty
That you're flying high?
I couldn't have stopped it
But I could have said goodbye.

Did you ever know me?
The last message you ever sent
Was to my mom, talking about me
Getting sick at work.
"I hope Sarah feels better"
"She must be embarrassed."

Did you ever know me?
If you did, you never knew this side
The "Life After Grandpa" has not bode well
With the an emotionally damaged me.
Crying every day
Being afraid to be by myself
Fear that everyone will pass away
Before I can say goodbye.

Did you ever know me?
I know you're watching over me
But you are also watching me do stupid things
Like talking to various men
Who want me for one reason.
Having a physical relationship with my ex
Who was horrible to me.
Smoking until my lungs go black
And my brain goes numb.

Did you ever know me?
Well, even if you didn't
You do now.
Jordan Frances May 2014
I want you
Breathing down my neck again
So I can feel the hot daggers
Stab me with every exhalation.

I want you
Running your fingers over me
Like I am your own personal painting
Go on, admire your masterpiece
What you've done to me
I hope it makes you feel secure.

I want you
Watching me get embarrassed again
It turns you on
And it's disgusting.
I am not here for your amusement.

I want you
Hiding who you really are
Lying to everyone around
Playing the victim
Every **** time.
Well, baby
You victimized me.

I want you
To rot in Hell for what you did to me.
I know its wrong
But I can't stop feeling
Like I just wish you were dead.
Because sometime I used to wish I was
But it's not my fault.

I want you
To take it all back
So I never have to remember it
Again.
Jordan Frances May 2014
I want to be okay
I just want to give up.
I hate drama
I find it amusing.
I am trying to get better
I am not trying at all.
I like myself
I'm a stupid *****.
My friends are my rock
No one likes me anymore.
I can block out flashbacks that I don't care to remember.
I think about what happened to me every second of the day.
I'll get over this.
I don't know how to move on.
I've got it all together
I am falling
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Jordan Frances May 2014
Did I make you lose your faith in love?
Darling, I know I'm so horrible
And the fact that I walked away
Oh, you could have died that day
But you didn't
And thank God for that.

Did I make you lose your faith in God?
Or some higher diety
That may or may not exist.
Sorry I question the things
That do not make sense to me.
I know I should just fall in line
Right?

Did I make you lose your faith in humanity?
Well I guess I'm just that terrible
I might as well have caused a world war
Because you treat me like a prisoner
I know it's all my fault.

Did I make you lose your faith?
No, honey
You have been faithless from the start.
Jordan Frances May 2014
So much hate in this world
Has gone unaddressed.
We hear plenty
About slavery in the early American days
And how how a civil war abolished it.

But our children do not understand
That there is still slavery today
Humans are being sold
In a secret industry that's booming
Here in the US and abroad.

We talk about racism in the 60s
And the future generation does not know
That men and women worldwide
Are being persecuted
Based on the pigments in their skin.

The Jewish Holocaust in World War II
Is discussed in classrooms
All over the earth.
Yet, the students remain blind
To the genocides that are prevalent in countries
That are flying under the radar.

Millions of people, slaughtered
Because of their beliefs and ethnicity
And we just sit back and let it happen
With our heads in the sand.

Women and children, beaten and *****
Because of their husbands' and fathers' sins.
Children being drugged
And forced to fight
For an adult's war
By those who were supposed to protect them.
And all we can say is
"How sad."

Many of us throw money in an emotionless pail
To help the causes so foreign to us.
Why can't we wake up
And help the less fortunate?
Even the most destitute of the United States
Do not know the poverty and violence
That prevail in developing countries.
And this is not solely their problem
But one for the human race as a whole.

Teachers, are you listening?
Won't you speak up
And teach the future leaders
About things less commonly discussed
Because they aren't so happy?
Abandon your pride
Because those events that go unaddressed
Leave us unaware.
#racism #genocide #worldwide #problem #unaddressed #unaware #help
Jordan Frances May 2014
You told me things would be alright
So why I am still grieving?
Six weeks, no relief
From the pain I try to avoid.
It seems to find me at every corner
Chasing after me
Like a snake in the grass
It constricts my body
Until I can no longer move.
My limbs go limp
And my white knuckles
Fall away like pedals
Of a dead and rotting flower.
I am isolated
From all the old friends
Who thought they knew me
Before I checked out of life as we know it.
I did not want to be a bother
As it seemed I was becoming.
So I crawled back into my old shell
Retreated to my cave
And shut my mouth.
No one wants to talk about it
And I don't want to deal with anything
So does that make me a bad person?
The fact that I will do anything and everyone
Just to repress these feelings?
I don't know.
I just... wish I knew.
Sometime I wonder if anyone can save me
And other times
I don't want a hero.
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