chrysanthemums grow underneath your skin and when you cut it, they bloom.

this is why initially, it feels good.

but after constant exposure to sunlight and air pollution and noise, the scars fade and the flowers begin to die.

so do yourself a favor and protect the hidden   treasure that is a garden -

put down the razor.

certain things are best kept unseen.

"--you know, I've either had a family, a job, something
has always been in the
way
but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have a place and
the time to
create."
no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you're going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you're on
welfare,
you're going to create with part of your mind and your
body blown
away,
you're going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you're going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquakes, bombardment,
flood and fire.
baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don't create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses
for.

I want to
sleep with you in the most innocent possible way.

I want to lay my head in your lap or perhaps yours in mine and I want to nod off until you tell me let's go, it's time for bed. I want to walk to your room half asleep and plop down on your king sized bed and fall asleep immediately. I want you to rearrange me so that I am underneath the white linen comforter and I eventually hog all of the blankets. I want you to finally settle down and move in close to me, closer than should be humanly possible. I want you to bury yourself in my hair and wrap your arms around my waist as you feel me breathe ocean currents.  I want to wake up in the middle of the night and wake you up and tell you that I love you and you'll reply I love you too groggily. I'm going to kiss your cheek and lay close to you.

I wish I could write about you but there is no you.

I wish I could sink into your ribcage and infiltrate your lungs so you can't breathe in anything but me. I wish I could trace the lines in your palms where the earth separated millions of years ago. I wish I could feel your heartbeat as sporadic as lightning. I wish I could hear your laugh as rhythmic as the chirping of birds. I wish I could love your irregularities but there is no you.

you were the one that taught me that people never change

no matter how many years you give them and how often the setting changes and how many new people they've met

people never change.

you broke my heart and you kept on doing it and I realized

I will never change

I'll keep loving you.

I will never change.