You came into my life
all shiny and bright--
you were my Knight
in shining armor...

But you faked your way in--
you knew how to win
my heart and my
favor forever

The Knight disappeared
but your armor remains
concealing your pain
and your fear,

It gets harder each year
to be as you appear
when your armor
has lost its veneer:

What good is this mask
when it becomes
such a task
to keep it all shiny & bright?

Look inside, my friend
to discover the end
of your misery
and internal plight!

Today I look
through sober eyes
and notice Love
oozing out of
every nook and cranny.

Where was this Beauty
which is so bountiful?
My looking glass,
I realize
was foggy--
I forgot to clean the lens
through which I viewed
the World.

I didn't even know
that it was smudged
with toxic thoughts
and simmering resentment;
with seething anger
and devastating fear...

Until I abandoned
myself to You;
Until I let go absolutely:

Today I look through sober eyes.

Here I am again--
or is it just that I thought
I had rid myself
of my childhood demons?

Battling quietly, so no one
knows I am suffering,
I softly tiptoe through Life,
yet manage to leave a path
of destruction behind me.

"Who am I hiding from?" I ask,
"Why can't I give myself
permission to be here;
to gently comfort
the sensitive child
who took on the Sorrows
of the World?"

So I continue the Journey
to the center of my Soul,
recreating myself
every year or so--
dropping men like flies
as I peel away the masks--
hoping I can minimize
the wreckage of my past
mistakes
and again be reborn
to include myself
among the Human Race.

Sitting along the highway, all alone
I spied a well-worn, beat-up
brown leather shoe.

Pondering its journey,
I questioned whether it, too
mated for life,
as geese tend to do.

What happened to its Other Half--
Could it be far away?
Or did the two shoes have a spat
And decide they should part ways?

...or maybe there's a foot somewhere
Looking for its shoe--
or could Cinderella still be waiting
for her Charming Dream Come True?

I wish I knew the story of this
lonely leather sole;
I hope it finds its way back home
so it won't be alone.

As I sit here, wondering
You turn me into nothing
in your mind--
I am a bad memory
you are trying to erase;
I am just a nuisance,
a gnat at your ear,
and you swat at me
with indifference
to make me disappear...

But I keep coming back for more--
or is it just that I'm still here...
bothering you,
buzzing in your ear--
forcing you to
think beyond your World,
filling you with
thoughts not of your own:
I am an Intruder to your World

I am lost, without a rudder
        spinning in circles
    on this sea of hypocrisy,
         this ocean of fear,
       wondering who the
             crazy one is...

    We have turned our world
               into a prison
          of our own device--
        where forgiveness is
            considered weak,
   where punishment is "just",
   where it's you against me,
            them against us;
      defending ourselves from
                 one another:

When will we wake up and see
           that we are One?
   that when we forgive others
        we forgive ourselves?
   that there is nothing to defend,
             nothing to fear?...
       that there is no "enemy"?

Filled with anger and pain
       She moves through the World
destroying the peace of those around her:
     She is disconnected from herself
        and does not recognize that
               what is in her Life
             is her own reflection:

         She is watching her demons
                   come to Life
              on the Big Screen
             and does not know
           these demons are her.

        I struggle to understand and
                    forgive her,
              and it is not easy--
     Her drama has included me in a
                 co-starring role
       which I unconsciously accepted.

    I wish to resign my position and
                    let her be
                the sole actress,
         But the ties that bind me
            are too strong, and are
    keeping this "contract" in place.

    I know the only way to let go
           of this "agreement"
  is through Love and Forgiveness,
     but my stubborn ego insists
on reacting over and over again,
          keeping me trapped
           within the drama:

I pray for Love and Forgiveness

I remember living among the trees
            for hours upon end
moving and swaying with the breeze,
      energized by their essence.

The trees gave me grounding,    
  without which I had none:
   I floated above the Earth
    like an untethered kite;
aimless, lost, not wanting to be
           in this World.

But I understood the trees,
  and they nourished me
     with their strength
         and flexibility.

   Today, when I am lost
I still go to them for refuge:
        I talk to them
  and they embrace me
   like long lost friends.

The flame's shadows
dance to the music
in my mind:
I am in another place,
another time..

A time when we were lovers
and we used each other
to cover
our pain...

A time when we were foes
and anger was our pose
to hide
our fear...

A time when we were strangers;
yet thought we were friends
and we hid behind personas
and hoped no one would notice
that we were not
who we pretended to be...

And we fooled only ourselves

The Wisdom of the Universe
speaks through me;
I become One with All that Is.
"Who am I? ",  I ask...

And the answer comes:
"you are ageless, deathless, timeless
born of Love, created to Love,
here to share your Glory,
your piece of God with the World.,
to live on this plane we call Earth...
to laugh, to be joyous, to create
to BE...
to add to the evolution of the Universe:

Your thoughts and acts are
indelibly inscribed in the
memories of the Universe,
there for Eternity,
to learn from and grow:
They belong to All;
the All which is One."

The painted sky speaks to me,
The rustling leaves whisper in my ear;
I'm now privy to Nature's Secrets,
She tells me, she's glad I'm here.

"Where have you been?" She inquires--
I say, "I'm not quite sure--
I may have been to hell and back,
And now I've found a cure.

The Cure is all around me;
It's in the Sky, the Trees--
It's in the calling of the Loon,
It's in the gentle Breeze.

...But I could not see
I could not feel,
I could not hear your Call
'til one day you awakened me
and now I claim it all:

the Love
the Joy
the Pain
the Sorrow
I can now embrace:

I need not run away
from me
Nor seek to hide
my face."

I remember a time,
not so long ago
when our eyes would meet
and exchange hellos;
when we would talk on
endlessly
until dawn floated in
unexpectedly...
and our World was a Haven.

Now we utter
shallow hellos--
without our eyes,
empty echoes
They beckon no more
for loving arms,
They share no more
each other's warmth:

Please touch me again
with those warm hellos,
with those knowing gazes
from years ago
Before I forget

You have no heart
you have no soul;
you sold them to the devil
years ago--
you sold them for things,
you sold them for "dough",
you sold them to feed
your voracious ego...

But what have you got,
now that you're rich,
besides millions of dollars
and a great market niche?

You've got little love,
you've got little joy...
your life is empty,
save a girl and a boy
who crave the love
that you can't give
who hope like hell
that you will live
long enough to see the Light:

What matters most, is Love in Life

Why do I still mourn your loss?
We haven't been together for years...
Amazing what our minds create
About who people are:

I idolized you--
I put you up on a pedestal
and I wouldn't take you down...
You had to fall on your own

But I still couldn't see
That what I wanted us to be
Wasn't meant to be.

We used each other
to point out our faults
and then blame them
on the other...

Until we had only ourselves
Left to blame--
We couldn't wake up together,
So we woke up alone