Filled with anger and pain
       She moves through the World
destroying the peace of those around her:
     She is disconnected from herself
        and does not recognize that
               what is in her Life
             is her own reflection:

         She is watching her demons
                   come to Life
              on the Big Screen
             and does not know
           these demons are her.

        I struggle to understand and
                    forgive her,
              and it is not easy--
     Her drama has included me in a
                 co-starring role
       which I unconsciously accepted.

    I wish to resign my position and
                    let her be
                the sole actress,
         But the ties that bind me
            are too strong, and are
    keeping this "contract" in place.

    I know the only way to let go
           of this "agreement"
  is through Love and Forgiveness,
     but my stubborn ego insists
on reacting over and over again,
          keeping me trapped
           within the drama:

I pray for Love and Forgiveness

Why do I still mourn your loss?
We haven't been together for years...
Amazing what our minds create
About who people are:

I idolized you--
I put you up on a pedestal
and I wouldn't take you down...
You had to fall on your own

But I still couldn't see
That what I wanted us to be
Wasn't meant to be.

We used each other
to point out our faults
and then blame them
on the other...

Until we had only ourselves
Left to blame--
We couldn't wake up together,
So we woke up alone

I am lost, without a rudder
        spinning in circles
    on this sea of hypocrisy,
         this ocean of fear,
       wondering who the
             crazy one is...

    We have turned our world
               into a prison
          of our own device--
        where forgiveness is
            considered weak,
   where punishment is "just",
   where it's you against me,
            them against us;
      defending ourselves from
                 one another:

When will we wake up and see
           that we are One?
   that when we forgive others
        we forgive ourselves?
   that there is nothing to defend,
             nothing to fear?...
       that there is no "enemy"?

I remember a time,
not so long ago
when our eyes would meet
and exchange hellos;
when we would talk on
endlessly
until dawn floated in
unexpectedly...
and our World was a Haven.

Now we utter
shallow hellos--
without our eyes,
empty echoes
They beckon no more
for loving arms,
They share no more
each other's warmth:

Please touch me again
with those warm hellos,
with those knowing gazes
from years ago
Before I forget

The flame's shadows
dance to the music
in my mind:
I am in another place,
another time..

A time when we were lovers
and we used each other
to cover
our pain...

A time when we were foes
and anger was our pose
to hide
our fear...

A time when we were strangers;
yet thought we were friends
and we hid behind personas
and hoped no one would notice
that we were not
who we pretended to be...

And we fooled only ourselves

Today I look
through sober eyes
and notice Love
oozing out of
every nook and cranny.

Where was this Beauty
which is so bountiful?
My looking glass,
I realize
was foggy--
I forgot to clean the lens
through which I viewed
the World.

I didn't even know
that it was smudged
with toxic thoughts
and simmering resentment;
with seething anger
and devastating fear...

Until I abandoned
myself to You;
Until I let go absolutely:

Today I look through sober eyes.

The painted sky speaks to me,
The rustling leaves whisper in my ear;
I'm now privy to Nature's Secrets,
She tells me, she's glad I'm here.

"Where have you been?" She inquires--
I say, "I'm not quite sure--
I may have been to hell and back,
And now I've found a cure.

The Cure is all around me;
It's in the Sky, the Trees--
It's in the calling of the Loon,
It's in the gentle Breeze.

...But I could not see
I could not feel,
I could not hear your Call
'til one day you awakened me
and now I claim it all:

the Love
the Joy
the Pain
the Sorrow
I can now embrace:

I need not run away
from me
Nor seek to hide
my face."