im making mountains out of molehills
are they getting bigger or am i getting smaller?
i really lost myself today, i felt so far away
like an insignificant molecule floating in the vast universe
dwelling on all of the little things that make me feel hopeless
these mountains are getting steeper
they're like walls closing me in
i don't have the energy to keep trying to climb them
i need to reconnect again somehow

my hands are shaking
why are they shaking?
why do they do this all the time?
it feels like they're not my own
why do i tremble like it's still december?
what is it that's dwelling in the back of my mind
pulling on my nerves like puppet strings?
my entire body shudders
is my blood really that cold?
i'm like an amateur tightrope walker
am i that unstable?
whatever it is that's holding me together
is starting to come undone

when i try to look to my future,
i see a dead end wall that i'm gonna hit headfirst
i see a waterfall at the end of the river that's gonna take me down,
i see a pit of spikes that's gonna impale me through the chest
i see a void where i'm just gonna float forever aimlessly,
i see myself dying at the age of twenty-five when i don't have a job
i see a cliff that i'm gonna jump off of expecting to fly,
i see a gap that's gonna be too wide for me to cross
i see a train heading straight towards me on the track i've been on for eighteen years
i see a chain on my ankle that's gonna stop me from walking anymore,
i see a bed that i'm gonna lay in for the rest of my life
i see failure,
i see death.

don't leave so soon,
i've only just fallen in love with you.
i don't want to say goodbye yet,
i know there's still some time left,
but i already feel like it's slipping away.
i want you to stay,
but i know,
i have to learn to let go.

you are an enigma
a greek vase full of oil paints
the glint off the blade of a sword
you are the youthful prince,
the joking jester,
the shining knight,
and the royal highness
of your own kingdom that you built from the ground up

you are the chiseled marble statue in the museum
with laugh lines engraved in your cheeks
you are a masterpiece who creates masterpieces
art flows from your fingertips when you paint
and from your mouth when you speak
both full of intricate details and ideas
your mind is full of concepts not yet revealed to the world
your eyes go wide when you are inspired

you are the natural beauty of a colorful jungle
intimidating and impending
yet delicate and stable
bursting with pure exuberance
you are the crystal clear pools of water
the dewdrops on the leaves after a tropical storm

you are a breath of crisp, fresh air,
blood pulsing, heart beating
energy flowing from your toes
as the soles of your shoes hit the ground while you run
circulating all the way to your brain that goes just as fast
you are enthusiasm and passion
exhilaration for living in every moment

you are gooey caramel encased in creamy chocolate
teeth tearing at sweet gummy candy
sticky peanut butter on the roof of your mouth,
you are smooth yogurt for breakfast in the morning
a speck of saliva on your bottom lip

you are the melting wax dripping off a candle
soft heat that guides the way in the middle of the dark
you are the smell of burning incense
the hazey smoke swirls in the air

you are a labyrinth
a paradox of simplicity and complexity
down to earth and in the clouds
an embodiment of individuality
elaborate as life itself
you can not be perceived with the average mind
you must be understood with the inner consciousness
you cannot be recreated
because you are timeless,
unique and extraordinary
i was blessed to have crossed paths with you

all throughout the winter
i felt so empty
my soul as cold as the fallen snow
i was afraid it would never end
but after the rain is the petrichor
a refreshing smell to cleanse my pores
after the rain is the color
in the nature and in the sky
as the weather gets nicer
i find myself feeling less empty than i did before

fidgeting with whatever you can
'till you just resort to tearing at your cuticles
until they bleed
and no matter how hard you try,
you just can’t stop,
you think it’s fine now,
but your fingers will be wrapped in band-aids
before you know it
it's a painful heartbeat pounding against your chest
as you rehearse in your head every word that you want to say
but when it comes time for you to speak,
you cannot breathe
it's the sound of the crying babe in the theatre
as you stand on stage with all eyes on you
blinded by lights
and expectations
it’s being trapped in a tight space,
surrounded by skyscrapers and voices
and when you look up, you can’t see the stars
it's trembling legs like a newborn deer
it’s the tightness in your chest
after sending a risky text
it’s talking to someone and looking anywhere but their face
it's mindless noise
drowning out everything that you need to hear