I remember sitting in awe of the moonlit common:

The rainbow-washed sky and the prolonged calm.

The only disturbance: a troop of elders

On nightjar pursuit.

And as I sat…

Life’s ambivalence disappeared completely;

And all I could think was how long I wished to stay.

Yet - back into the flow I must go

For life’s game is one we all must play.

You took the best in me
And replaced it with confused scorn.
For everything we built together
Instantaneously became torn.

The person I was before
Is hidden deep within my pain
And i'm finding it difficult
To see the light again.

The loneliness created
By this oversized town
Enables people to become lost;
Forever stuck with a frown.

But the sheer number of people
Promotes ability to forget...
As new friendships blossom
The pain turns to regret.

Maye you were right all along
And my love was in vein.
But this is something I must realise
As I search for completion again.

Stuck in this fun-loving bubble-rut
No reason to escape but...
Wear and tear upon body and mind
Yet the more I intake the more that I find
A certain contentness.
Lack of stress.
Away from life's more nonchalent routines
Which are less than suitable for teens..
But soon twenty will creep upon me
And I always want to be this free
To exercise my own creativity
And to be who I want to be.

Individualistic intensity
Of perfect heart.
Aggravateed and silenced
By a tormented start.

Pure passion for knowledge
Of future and past
Yet the thirst is often drained
A little too fast.

Confusion of adulthood
Tainted by childhood remains
Excelles the mind's questioing
Of innocent pains.

Twenty years spent in this exciting confusion
All the things learnt: from death to evolution
Trickle past me, my body, I
Roll right through me as I let out this prolonged sigh.
Nothing seems perfect, nothing profane.
I seem to be lost in this simultaneous reaction again.
Endlessly searching for rights and wrongs
Trying to hold this dead weight where it belongs.
Twenty years spent; i'm supposed to understand
This exciting confusing mess of land.
But instead I reach inside, where questions transpose,
As inside of me the exciting confusion grows.
Spliff in left hand, pen in the other;
Succession of inhalation - surely intended to smother...
Feelings too raw to sit with right now,
Instead I will continue to ignore and to ask how
Twenty years spent in this excting confusion
can lead to such fluidity... such dissolution?
I wonder what I will say in twenty years time?
I wonder whether I'll still be drawn to this infectious, repetitive rhyme.

This delicate thread suspended between us
Shall drive me to insanity.
If too often stretched and disturbed,
It will be destroyed by gravity.

This icy mist smothering our connection
Surely must someday rise?
For mirrors too often reflect the love,
And shadows engulf the lies.

This magnetic resemblance that we hold
May lead us to our demise.
The poles must have their faces opposing,
Or else the electricity dies.

Another new page,

Another clean start;

I wish it was this easy

To cleanse the heart.