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I'm scared
My life turns into a blur
Everything I hear is remindes me of her
How she is so beautiful
So perfect
So loved

What about me
I would do anything to make you see
What she does to your mind
I know it's not what you want to find
I wish you could leave her behind
The same way as you left me
I know that it could never be us, we or
you and me
You were always in my dreams
In reality it was never meant to be

That's why sleep used to be so important
The only place I could say or do what I felt was in my dreams
Now I'm in way too deep
To ever get back the beauty in sleep

I want to forget
I want to forget about her
I want to forget about you
But mostly I want to forget about myself
That's why I'm scared
If I was a little skinnier, prettier, funnier
Would you want me then?
If I was smarter, cuter, fitter
Would you look at me then?

Six days a week I stand in that gym
Working so hard to make you see me
To look at me and not feel disgusted
To make you look at me and want me

If I just get a flat stomach, nice arms and skinny legs
Will you find me beautiful then?
Or will I need to buy more make up, new nail polishes and cuter outfits
To make you think about me?

Or should I just stop
Just crush the mirror that's laughing at me and watch the glass fly
Should I just stop breathing...
Would you think about me then?
You didn't cut my skin
I did
You didn't tell me that I'm fat
I did
You didn't tell me to give even if I have nothing
I did
You didn't tell me that I'm weak
I did
You didn't keep me from getting close to you
I did
You didn't ask me to smile even if I'm empty
I did
You didn't say it'd be good idea to **** myself
I did
You didn't  tell me that I'm worthless
I did
You didn't say that you don't love me
I did

So darling don't worry
Not now, not ever
Because if I can promise you one thing
It's this

You didn't break me
I broke myself
Just like that
Without a single warning
It turned to morning
It is 4 am and I still have not got a glimpse of sleep
Because my thoughts wandered off way too deep
I function better at night
Because there is no one here to put up a fight
Why should I sleep
When I have no dreams I want to keep
Life is not better just because it's day
That is why I like the dark nights better anyway
Dark shadows under my eyes decided to stay
I wont tell them to go away
That might be the only company I will have tomorrow
So I'm not gonna put make up over it and cover my sorrow
It is still dark outside
Come with me, take my hand
Help me find a place where I can hide
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