when i am home alone
my separated parents off doing separated things
i drive my car around the neighborhood
looking at the christmas lights.
i do this in silence;
i want nothing more than to just gaze at them
remember the sheer awe and beauty
of a couple little lightbulbs strung together on wire.
it used to strike me as odd
why people hang lights anyway around christmas time
but i soon came to realize
it's because it brings people closer together.
neighbors whom you have ignored
are now helping you find power outlets.
friends of your wife whom you used to detest
are now handing you a plate of cookies, smiling and wishing you a safe and wonderful christmas.
i see this all of the time.
and it makes me smile to know that
just by a simple arrangement of little blue-bulbed lights
we are all, actually
family.

Its hard
to find yourself
among the chaos of others

Its hard
to define yourself
under the watch of naysayers

Its hard
to search within yourself
through the rubble of broken history

Its hard,
but not
hopeless.

These, in the day when heaven was falling,
The hour when earth's foundations fled,
Followed their mercenary calling
And took their wages and are dead.

Their shoulders held the sky suspended;
They stood, and earth's foundations stay;
What God abandoned, these defended,
And saved the sum of things for pay.

Smoke a blunt, pack a bowl send me on my way.

Feeling better but feeling worse every single day.

Dont know what to do about this vicious circle im stuck in.

All I can do is give it to God and let the healing begin.

But I still miss it everyday and Im not sure why.

Why do I love it so much and always wanna get high.

No where else to turn so Im on my knees prayin.

Let God take it over cuz dood he aint playin.

I got the Jesus man holdin it down fightin temptation.

And I cant stop pushin now cuz Im building up Christs nation.

I know that Christ will use me for the greater good.

Just gotta get my story across and be understood.

Cuz I been thru the tradjedies and tried to escape it.

But I had to face reality and Im proud that I made it.

And I couldnt do it without Him yeah my savior till the end.

Only following Jesus not just following some trend.

And nobody can stop me even though satan will try.

But Ima prove him wrong its just a matter of time.

Cuz Ima find the best of me and use it to serve the Lord.

Even if its just my rhymes I wont be ignored.

By Justice Kesinger

I am looking for a word that means my love
and a place for a boat
where I don't need a moat
to be in a castle
that no one can breach

I always thought that she was far beyond my reach
but here I am
down by the marina
on the dock
where no clouds can block the full moon in front of me
I never thought I would see the day
I wouldn't need the series of lies I told myself in the morning to keep me at bay
Now I wake up knowing she's there
Soft touch and the smell of her hair
who would have guessed a fear of water
would lead me to drown in Marina

Numb
As I mumble a quiet,
"Hello."

My eyes drift away
My mind too
That day

The beating figure
My chest holds
No heart here

This ****** mess
Could never be a heart
Not again.

Broken
The Hate
Slides down my cheeks

At the corner of my eye
Like a stormcloud
My tears rain

The swell when I swallow
I cough
I hack

I need a reason
The reason
You're there and I'm here

So far away.

I HATE:
How You left me open
How you don't say hello or hi anymore
How you act as if we were never together
How you don't think of me
How you said you won't forget about me
How you ignore me
How you try to erase me from your memories
How you don't speak much of me
I hate how I broke my heart by breaking your heart
I hate how you make me feel
I hate how I think about you
I hate how I want to forget about you so much but can't
I hate how you left me all alone
I hate how we aren't close anymore
I hate how you turned out to be
I hate how you walk past me as if you don't even know me
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
I HATE YOU
But deep down I'm crying and still I LOVE YOU.

Did you notice me standing on the sidewalk a little ways from the both of you? I don't know if it was a dream but I remember slicing a part of my arm to let my crimson blood drip onto the ground to mix with precipitation and flow into the sewers to feel something, to feel confirmation that it was only a dream. I felt the pain, saw the blood and still you were there, intertwined around her like ribbon around a gift. I think of the times when you showed up right outside my door, looking desperate and deprived, and I still catered to your every need even though a little voice in my head screamed STOP HE'S USING YOU as it cut into my nerves and shook my conscience. Yet I broke all the rules for you, committing modern day badass-ery. And even now I question you on whether you would break your clock and volunteer time you didn't have for me. You wouldn't, I think, you didn't even speak to me and you answer awkwardly, like snakes were choking you and constricting your windpipe and as if acid were burning your larynx to the point of muting you when I did. I stopped questioning you and let you be for a very long while even though the little voice protested that I should think for myself. You seeing me started becoming a privilege because you only showed up once in a while to lock lips and embrace me. I don't remember a single day where all we did was just get ice-creams and chill somewhere with the company of only each other.

I was used and boy is it emphasized as you stand a little ways from me, wrapped around her.

I see you kissing her like how you kissed me, putting your arms around her like how you did me. But will she ever know how the love I had for you engulfed you in a dark shadow, stretching to the galaxies beyond and appealing to the moon for it's blessing? I knew, from that moment on, that loving you is mistake I will never make again. Even if I'm breaking down at 2 am suppers, consuming yogurt by the tub and pulling all of my hair out because of that one kiss I saw you share with someone I trusted, I will never tear my heart in two ever again just to share a piece with you for I know you won't care for it. Don't burn me with the memories we had since I have set them on fire the moment I saw you and her.

But I don't have the strength to keep myself standing upright as I stand a little ways from you wrapped around her, and I crumble to the ground, shattering into ash...

(lunarlullubies)

keep me here,
keep me distant,
keep me near,
keep me listening,
don’t leave me,
don’t touch me,
walk with me,
don’t take my hand,
let me lean on you,
don’t lean back,
talk to me
make me laugh,
take my joy
take my sorrows,
don’t give them back,
I wish for you to be,
just not with me,
I’ll show you my smile as I walk away,
you have not touched but a morsel of my thought,
and not entered the room of my world,
where I live is a shell you shall not see nor be.


I am better and more whole away from the shores of your sea.