I used to tell myself that I would always love you,
that for the rest of my life part of my soul would always care
but I'm here now and seeing clearer and realizing that if nothing else
you ruined me, ripped me limb from limb and left me bleeding in the streets
and that even in my broken state, even being as empty as I am right now
I have enough self love to accept that whatever we had wasn't love
and that the truth probably is that I was delusional and lost,
I let you hypnotize me, and even when I realized it
I let you walk free,
I let you hurt me.

We learned the other day that sometimes
when you try to push against a force
that's too strong to move, your body fights
but regardless of how hard it fights
you have a threshold that you cannot breach
and after some time it simply becomes you
pushing against this immovable force and
you realize that this stagnant entity in your life
has absolutely no intention of letting you win
this one sided battle you unknowingly enrolled in
and it strikes you one day that while the only thing left to do
would be to give up: you won't.

Not because you don't want to
but rather because you can't.