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Jerry Nov 2013
Red
eyes fogged red
crisp air, dead--dry as my
calm, cold skin
supersaturated thoughts
slowly condensing
I watch as they fall
I fall
I fell
afraid to glance towards the mirror
eyes widened
eyes fogged red
Jerry Oct 2013
Today I heard it from a different voice
I couldn't utter a word
Dead silence--it wasn't by choice
I connected as I heard

I listened to what she had to say
Each sound striking me--cringing--my emotions blurred
My thoughts began to decay

Today I heard it from a different light
And here I am--in the dead of night
my only option seeming to be
to write
Jerry Oct 2013
They told me there was a chance
It would be this way
For the rest of my life
That it was a possibility
It would be like this
Forever
I would stay this way
For the rest of my life

They told me that it was something
I couldn't control
That the only thing left was acceptance
But I can't accept--
And never will accept--
To accept what?
To accept the only thing holding me back
Is myself
How can something inside me
Something that is me
Keep myself hostage

They told me it would help
That it would help me
Help me fight this illness
Each morning I have to ask myself
If my sickness is what I want to be
Or just a slave to a bottle
Every night one
Each day three
They say embrace who I am
What I know I'll never be
Because I know I'll never be free

Im thankful because they told me so
They told me they love me
I told them thank you
Jerry Oct 2013
a kind of darkness
  so fluid
  it wraps around you
  confining every step
  and every thought

a kind of darkness
  so dense
  your legs—tired
  eyes becoming weak
  you can feel the light linger beyond your grasp
  you know you’ll never see it

a kind of darkness
  so vivid
  you can’t escape
  the taste of blood encompasses your senses
  and you’ll never come to accept it

a kind of darkness
  so true
  the only light you know
  was just a shadow
Jerry Jun 2013
thoughts melted
dripping on my conscious
little splashes trickle out my mouth
as if they were lost
Jerry Jun 2013
stuck in sizzling shadows of
others' brightness and
luminosity
my shimmer dimmed by
slowly simmering sadness
approaching animosity
Jerry Jun 2013
the sleepless nights I can address
as angst consumes my throat
not a whisper to pronounce
scrambled thoughts lies hope
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