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Answering machine is full.
The Phone been off the hook for a week.
I was preoccupied.
You thought i lied, could I have died?
Was it ******, or suicide?

I got your letter.
returned to sender.
The little things you don't remember.
I never got the letter
Must have been the bad weather.

The blood stamped paper
I read it state:

"Your silence is the shotgun to my head.
Without you I'd rather be dead.
That is what i feel, I'd hate to fail.
But this is real your silence is screaming.
I haven't been eating, I find this silence defeating

P.S. My scars are re opened.
P.P.S. These ones aren't healing"
I don’t want to be wrong
I don’t want to be right
I don’t care to win
I don’t care to lose
You can beat me
I have been abused
Knock me down and I’ll get back up
Tell me I’ll never be good enough
Grab me by the shirt and throw me down
What I do know is
one day
One day I’ll be right
I could kick your ***
Grab you by the shirt and let you go
Take you by the hand and show you how
Turn the page on you.
Be the better man and help you out.
I will hold no grudge.
I won’t resent a ******* thing you didn’t second guess.
Just know that one day I will be your friend.
Give me your eyes and I’ll show you a broken man
Give me your ears and I’ll tell you of hate
Give me your hands and I’ll let you feel freedom
Let me take your time and I’ll pay you in education
Pick up a white flag
Disassemble every gun
War isn’t fun now put down your gun
**** the oil and the retribution
We don’t need that anyways
Give me love
Give me freedom
Without an opposition
Red or blue
White or black
Fixed or cracked
I don’t want to see another man die to set the score
No I don’t want to hear of yet another war
Take out the leaders
Put people in charge
Use sign bearing hippies
Joint smoking stoners
Loving life for what it is
Not asking for much more
No stealers of society
Philosophy of Socrates
Protesters of the protestants
Because babble wasn’t tall enough
If materials are your life then you’ll spend it all on your own
Share it all, give it back, make a tree grow
So what you can’t afford college,
There are  children that can’t afford dinner
Don’t pick up the pennies you drop,
Walk right by every homeless man
Saying “he probably just wants another pack of smokes, or a case of beer. what a ******* tweaker”
Never gave the thought that he was **** out of luck
Maybe in highschool his mother died and he started to **** up
But when it comes to you yeah, that’s what it’s all about
Buy the latest purse and the coolest shoes have a snazzy car And fresh tattoo
  You might be a doctor but you barely passed
Now a days all you have to do is show up to pass
And if it doesn’t work just shake your ***
Claimed to be a feminist
But you sure gave head
Made a **** good secretary,
and at the end of the day the boss was making your bed.
Paying your bills
Buying your meals
We suffer at our sense of loss,
we are frightened by the rage,
we are guilty in the face of rejection,
we are hurt by choice of isolation
and we are confused by the message.
We give in
We give up
We start to slip, but the noose holds us back
We are wrong, yet justifiably right
We’re scared no one cared
Did they really ever care?
Whats the point? who am I? why am I? what am i?
So scared to lose yet too shy to succeed
The fear of fear always left me scared
Nothing more nothing less,
The significance of others
makes me feel significantly less significant
than the insignificant others
fight wars for freedom
enslaved in our minds from the battles
the torture, the evil
the only death known is violent, yet suicide seems so peaceful.
You have to trespass to find Nature
Man made wonders overgrowing with moss
Tell me, where did we get lost?
Was it the wars
Was it the politics
The drugs, the guns?
Or was it the money
Greed to rid the world of green
So our pockets can be full of it
Tell me why we pour concrete and call it a park
No such thing as a beautiful tree in a pavement park
Where are the Birds, where are the herds?
I’m sure they went south for the winter,
But this time next year that southern city will be covered in asphalt
Paved over with greed
The green will be gray
The ocean turned black
But my president made his buddies rich
And the soil filled with trash,
The world will start flooding, might as well build another ditch
Dam the **** city, protect the banks
The guidelines are gilded
And there’s no going back.
there is a cemetery in my heart
a sanitarium in my head
a trailerpark in my soul
lead paint on my toes
arms scared the accident I lost it in
my life is gone
my dreams have ended
my everything is through
all goals aborted
a tornado straight through my soul
I was too crazy for the sanitarium to control
The lobotomy couldn’t save me
It rains in the cemetery of my heart
I’d give anything to go back to the start
Before the world ended
Before this war started
Back when back when my heart had silver lining
And my brain was still sane
When my soul was a mansion, and I was out of room to gain
When my dreams and ambitions
Were far beyond fame
Back before I realized we are all insane

— The End —