Do you still sit and sing for me down by the shore
the birds cried you sang to me just like before
sitting the two of us watching the stars
hearing your voice as it healed all my scars
the birds cried you sang for a year and a day
counting the hours as the time slipped away
did you bring down the basket to carry my catch
your eyes and strong arms no one woman can match
I'm sailing through mist that won't lift or ease
drawn through the waters my love will not cease
won't you still sit and sing for me down by the shore
your voice calls my heart from the deep ocean floor
the birds cried you sang for a year and a day
the birds cried as you sang as I faded away

Shelter me
            from all that I am                
what I try to be
I tried to shelter you
wash the blood and muck
from your hurt thighs
read you a kid's book
while you tried to sleep
in the bath too afraid
***** soiled wee scrap
we couldn't get you clean
cut your head where they
***** you over the wall
your blonde hair
stuck to the tiles
you made me cut it off
so I shaved my head
to be ugly with you
shared an overdose
tricked you
your half was
just beta-blockers
you tried to comfort me
share our pain
slept in bed with me
like you were
a proper mum
with your hurt
arms around me
till you crawled
out to find
the boyfriend
with his drugs
I could never shelter you
from what you were
life and light
grey-faded
shrink in with me
let us share this grave
of soiled hope and
anguished dreams
my wee rough pal
the first one
in the world to say
that you loved me
you wrote it
on my arm for hospital
they thought you were
my daughter I
wished you were
prayed for angels
to shelter you
like you tried
to shelter me
that night
we failed each other

An Angel fell down and looked around
this new world of ours she just had found
enthralled by the vaults of evenings sky
nights hand touches heaven high
no ages lost  past times call out
she hears more where there is no shout
she sees why human hearts and eyes
do not all yearn for the heaven's skies
bones of the earth the sweet world's air
she come to see as whole and fair
sees love and wisdom shaped this land
as much as her own God so grand
began to see her time for change
was come and though it felt so strange
vision and love had now outgrown
the bonds of harsh religion flown
ahead lie worlds and dreams all new
a kinder world comes into view
and if ordered home by the King of Kings
she'd stand as a woman and shed her wings

Wine glass full of water now
last weeks was full of pills
sat and looked for hours at it
no place for happy thrills
poured wine in until it met
the high point of the pile
it melted into mess and gunge
that tasted ******* vile
didn't really do that much
hardly any power
didn't want to die or hurt
just sleep to numb an hour
all that **** is history
prescription ripped up in the bin
got a happy life for me
won't hurt my friends with that old sin
painful flashbacks ******'s ghosts
I overreact and always  frown
got to protect my friends the most
to remember the ones that I let down

february 1943

Two still bodies embrace
snow-clad where they died
won't anyone move them
or push them aside
passed away looking deep
into each others eyes
a last look of love
no time to cry

2 days before

Father wanted to **** and eat her little cat
like he killed her wee brother
when the drink made his demon come out
Joshua tried to stop father climbing into her bed
so he beat his head to porridge then took her to his room..
but now he wanted to **** the wee cat so she ran into the storm
clutching the poor sick thing to her inside her thin clothes
like she wished she could clutch joshua again
they hadn't eaten for days the cold bit hard and deep
the liquidation squads were all around
he made her carry food for him
gave her some which she shared with the cat
she always ran fast and hard noone to match her
deep into the woods till she could run no more
lying in the snow storm blown out jewels of ice
strewn far and wide handfulls of magic star-diamonds
she counted them till she saw the grey light rise in the south east
the poor cat was dead passed in the night
to weak and small to fight another day of fear and cold
she cried knives of grief for hours
then scratched a deep hole in the ice and ran on leaving it behind

No cat soul falls away unseen
slowly paced the spirit queen
paused above light on the snow
eyes on fire with an ancient glow
the  kitten climbs out of it's tomb
spirit flows cat mother womb
an eternity  of play and sleep
so for this cat-soul do not weep

she was at the end of her endurance when they found her
a ***** bunch of Russian soldiers and peasant refugees
the men would have treated her badly but there were women there
they warmed and tried to feed her
she wouldn't eat
just stared at the youngest of the soldiers and moved her lips slowly
"Hey Pavel, she thinks your name is Joshua, are you a jew too?"
That gave them a laugh at his expense
He was sorry for her she was alone and dying

They moved on the next day left her to die wrapped in a blanket
Pavel had gone missing by midday noone gave a ****
maybe he fell into the snow and went to sleep
maybe he went to sit by the 10 year-old girl
who thought he was her brother
maybe he smiled as she smiled
little cat spirit rubbing her dying legs
maybe he smiled as he pulled the pin from his grenade
and held it to their chests

My worst day of poems oh god I was *****
but put them all here even the ones tonight
read some great stuff that you all did today
David and Judy and sweet Lily Mae
felt bad as I forced it I wanted to write
got stuck in a downer feeling uptight
said the right things in a pathetic way
now got a migraine I make myself pay
tomorrow will maybe be better for me
cannot be much worse will you guys please tell me?

How can I say how sad I feel
just got real fear no hope or zeal
so I let the moments pass away
think it would be better not to say
perhaps she might get a wee bit scared
if my nervous interest is declared
dread to lose the new pal that I found
so I won't make a single request or sound
won't chase or push or bother you
but wish you could know my heart is true