I'm the happiest today that I've been in years
with a smile that stretches between both ears
don't quite know what's taking place
why am I so full of grace?
Got this ****** stupid grin
like a granny full of gin
want to hug my enemies
got none, sod it, hug the trees
got good news about my friends
tribulations at an end?
had so sweet a day of love
angels must be close above
waiting for things to go wrong
like a *** note in a song
perhaps a car will run me down
Christ I bet I'd wear a frown!
maybe hug a ****** killer
like a baddie in a thriller
pick axe through my happy skull
wouldn't notice I'm so dull
my face is like a happy elf
as if I've been touching myself
don't worry that is not my style
'cos God says *******'s vile
I'll settle for this pleasant feeling
it's so amazing leaves me reeling
friday might not match my mood
what if I am grumpy, start to brood?
So try to keep this jolly face
keep spouting poetry apace
soon enough I'll be back down
I'm just a sad depressive clown...:O)

I threw my old mobile into the river.
Read Alina's poem made me think
Walked down specially in the dark
not dressed for the frost so cold
full of numbers that matter no more
flew so far and skipped as it span
goodbye old **** life
meant to do this weeks ago
took the battery out to save the planet
thought  now the time was right
so put the mobile out of sight
still got my pink mobile in my hand
deleted some numbers from it
so now everyone on it has one thing in common
I can look at their number and think
I love you

Walking out into the night
no wind to stir the trees out of watchful quiet
silver-blue the ground frozen hard
water noise sounds clear masking distant men sound
cars and trucks and harshness
move through the wood move through time
nothing bad there tonight unless you take it
and we did not
bright distant stars share the sky with her
and most fade in respectful humility
and we wonder at our smallness
most are inside watching, warming, waiting
missing this and that makes us feel more keenly
the wonder as the ancient ones felt it
their blood is in our veins, their atoms in us and the ground
so they are part of us and our souls remember them
gaze at the moon the pole star the ice in the sky
light incense, toast the moon, scatter wine on the snow
blood red but nothing died here
something was born here
beneath the full moon

Nineteen texts and three phone calls
all in one day, my strength it drains away
persecuted her, hounded all these she said
what I say on deaf ears falls, take your pills
care for your kid's or lose them
He loves you
gave up his job to keep your kids at home...
"So , here is what you do,"
OK....?
"Take a mirror wash it with salt
look into your reflection and see her.
Slowly tell her how you feel,
that you cannot feed her your energy
that you want her to care for her children
be healthy, love him and do not drain me.
Wash the mirror with salt and a wee prayer."
It worked in one day, after five weeks of
crazy stress.
She is still Mad as a pie, stuggles on
we talk in church and on facebook
But don't mention the mirror spell in church
they will try and burn me
but it works every time so far...he he   :o)

My tummy hurts so bad
the loo's twelve feet away
but this poem is important
and pain won't have it's say
so I'll clench and type
no *** to wipe,
with poetry I'll play
but now the belly is swelling
my God I'm gonna blow!
inspiration is fading fast
my typing is too slow
take the bucket over there
jam it on my ****
**** forgot to drop my pants
oh I am a  nut!
Now the bucket's stuck so tight
don't think it will come off
will have to keep it on all night
and pray that I don't cough!
Cover every naked flame
turn off every socket
if there is the slightest spark
I'll shoot off like a rocket!

I went into the woods today
to feed the little birds
the squirrel in his little  drey
and the roe deer in their herds
went in feeling confident
walked out tired and grey
now I need some counselling
and this is what I'll say!
Those little ******* birdies
had set a trap for me
dug a hole with mickey the mole
they knew I would't see
fell right down
and bashed my head
they laughed so much,
thought I was dead
all they wanted was my seed
No! not my *****!
Oh, please take heed
the rabbits kicked earth into the hole
****** lagomorphs got no soul
except for hares
they are classier
even though
the females are sassier
I climbed back  out
the birds got miffed
"there is no doubt,
he must be biffed!"
so into the fray
they sent their trump
a ****** great stag
to give me a thump
spent ten minutes dodging round
running like a good'un
until I ran into a tree
solid and pretty wooden
"my sodding nose,
that ****** hurt!
I'm bleeding down
into the dirt!"
tough they told me
with their eyes
that tree will cut you
down to size!
I got away at half past six
how was purely luck
I fed the stag some weetabix
and he got hit by a truck
So now we're having venison
and gravy for our tea
and if I go to the woods again
I'll take some friends with me!

An E-mail came the other day
one man stood on another
I hope it wasn't seen
by his father or his mother
the one on top was smiling
with a gun over his head
the one beneath had staring eyes
perhaps because he's dead
Greetings from Afghanistan
my buddies e-mail went
a Christmas gift for you back home
to hell this man I sent..
I gave my friend some army gear
and clothes  to keep him dry
now he's killing people
and making mothers cry
should have given him a conscience
and love for fellow men
I hope he reads this poem
and he doesn't **** again