We always hear that life is a stage
but we were never prepared for the stages we would be thrown through.

I remember the before.
When we had never talked,
only noticed each other in the halls,
around town,
and at the theatre.

I remember the during.
When we'd purposefully get lost in the city we were both born in.
When I'd treat you to tea
and you'd to treat me to a kiss and sometimes a hundred more.

Now it's the after.
Thank God you're leaving town.
It will save me the embarrassment of those times I called with no response.
And it will save you the harassment of having to see me.

My upper body becomes uncomfortably hot.
My lower body doesn't seem to want to move.
My hands become sweaty and a bit shaky.
My eyes dart around, not content to rest in one place.
In my mind there are many memories of your touch.
There are many memories of your smile,
but there is only one memory of the last time I saw you.

~

Destructive thoughts may only cause harm.

~

How wonderfully convenient this all is.

I watched the film
not because she told me to,
but because she told me she enjoyed it.
You must understand how important this is.

It's dizzying how much misunderstanding there can be
between a father and son.
He thinks I'm out having ***, smoking dope, getting in fights, stealing cars and shoplifting.
When I all I do is chain smoke with my friends and ***** about our respective fathers.

So much trust has been lost in such a little time
and it's not him, it's me.
Coming home high, smelling of cigarettes, two hours late,
that'll do it.
I can't tell him that I was two hours late  because I was trying to sober up,
finding it disrespectful
to be high around my own old man.

He's afraid.
Because I'm just like him, and he sees it.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout

Soaring high.
The reds,
the blues,
nothing could ever be more different than those two colors right now.
It's beautiful and so are you,
my lovely friend.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out

Feeling low.
The headaches,
and the sleepless nights,
nothing can ever bring me back to where I was before.
My horse has a name and he is loyal,
he is my friend.

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain

Thirsty.
The sun,
combined with the noise burns me,
how long was I asleep for?
My enemy will put up a fierce fight,
but not for long.
I can fight this.

The itsy bitsy spider climber up the spout again*

The chain is addiction
and the links are euphoria.
One end is a bent steel pole.
Me.
On the other is a needle.
My lovely horse.