i let you get the best of me
i fell in love & hid nothing
...like i always do.
god i wish i'd learn
to have the love & not the hurt
to not **** up & make it work
to have someone who cares for me
much less sparingly
than all of you before.
i let you have the rest of me
& you swallowed every breath i breathe

your eyes are like a beacon
i'm being drawn toward
& even though i know
death rests on that shore
i still batten the hatches
& slice through the surf
& no matter what happens
i will reach that dirt
so there are rocks there
& they will **** my ship
& i will live in despair
because my vessel had missed
but i headed toward the light
it just wasn't your eyes
just a hidden deception guise
you had kept inside despite
utterance from subtle lips
of some love that was infinite
well darlin that dont exist
& thank you for proving it
& i still carry this love
but i will bury it now
i'll cover it in sand & blood
just under this lighthouse
i.miss.you.

i wish
i could skim your lips
with a kiss
that entices life
to rise in slight resistance
against death's intenseness
when it tries to reunite
the ties that bind our split hips
but never could we ever
endeavor in our pleasures
because together we would sever
the heaven that we live in
& end the friendships we mended
but its worth it
to be cursed with
that verbal disturbance
& hurt when this turns in
to a perfect occurence

now i'm stranded in the sand
deserted with my eternal curse
& the fact you never looked back
doesn't make the dirt disperse
drowning in the gathered grains
the rough remains of love exchanges
but each was just a dusty joke
like the broken lies you spoke
& so i should hate with all my soul
but god i couldn't miss you more