There's this woman
She has these large loopy curls
in her long chestnut hair
Big, brown eyes
The most perfect smile
She makes me laugh
I like her
And I've noticed that it seems to snow or rain
almost every time I see her
I'm not supposed to be talking to her
according to some kind of code about ex-lovers
that I've been told exists
between men who've drank together
But every now and then I go to her house at night
and we **** as hard and as wet
as the concrete I travel across to get there
I put my soft lips on hers
and my calloused palms on her *******
and my fingers in the dark between her legs
Midnight flower
She puts her pretty lips on my neck
and trails off to other regions.
I let her
smiling
laughing in my mind
I'd say I'm sorry you blew it pal
but I don't wanna lie

I don't understand why
You all look up to me
You say I'm all these things
That I'm so obviously not

Your saying that I'm perfect
I'm flawless, without fault
But have you looked at me
Underneath my surface

You see beauty, perfection
I see scars and mistakes
You see happiness, light
I see anger and hate

I don't think you realize
I'm not the angel you see
I'm not a role model
I shouldn't be put on a throne

I'll never be perfect
I'll never be free
I'm locked inside self hate
I've thrown away the key

So I still don't understand
What you see in me
Why do you look up to
A person I'm obviously not

I really don't get what you see

Most days I can carry on fine
I can bottle it all in
Hold it all tight
The pain threatens to overflow
But I can keep it in check
Just holding it back
I'm at tipping point
Anything can cause me to fall over the edge
But still I managed to just hold the tide

Then a small, insignificant thing happens
Not anything to be upset over
But it's the final straw
It's what tips me over

The tears start to drip like rain
Then pour like waterfalls
There is no way to stop it
No way to control it
I've lost my grip on sanity
All my emotions stumbling over each other
As they try to leave
Each roiling in a mass storm that's come to stay

Now that I'm here
There is no going back
I've passed the point of no return
I've left behind the sanity
I once had a slither of
I can't stop now
I can't go back
I'm here and I'm staying

*I'm past the point of no return

How is it that when ever I'm mad
You can make me smile
How is it when I'm feeling down
You can make me giggle
How is it when I'm so upset, so depressed
You can make a light come shining through

How is it when my world has turned
You can flip it right around
How is it when I'm always frowning
You can pick me up off the ground
How come its only you
No one else gets through the way you do

*how