This is me; so free & uninformed;
Once before; so young & adored
Dreams that stretched unto forever
Heart that was broken through ignorance
A mind that could open pandoras box
The charm & heart that would seemingly never stop;
Rags for clothes; rich with music; full of lyrics; poems & rants
Bitter, but strong in a self indulgent land;
Love conquered through waves of hurt;
Building me up with all of the perks;
Charm & swagger; no longer winning
Little did I know; the end would be my beginning; with love transcending; this & that blending.
Veins appear; new spots, new freckles & moles; with veins bursting from clots.
The eyes that trap you in the night; the thoughts that silence you with stiffening fright; we wake in our deepest breath; rising embodied to see what's next.

Love equals nothing, how would I know
**** verses ***** i stay wet, but it doesnt grow
Here we go, here I am all alone
Do it wrong, it all scattered in places it doesn't belong
Smiling faslely, holding on balsy
Looking at you and I feel like I failed
Constant loser, a baby unveiled

Flipping through pages ;
Full of you and I
Moments well captured;
our legacy in still life
Browsing every picture;
smiling at every word
Holding on to time;
our albums of gold
A timeline of growth;
With journey so bold
Aside me you sit;
We only get older
A life of bliss;
In pages of golden boarders

Mush brain, empty stomach
Lifting myself, the day plummets
Walking to run,  running to drunk
Day is gone, soul depleting
Filing my patience, wanting
Hating myself, needing you
Itched, scratched, beaten, dragged
Pushing through, minute to minute
Face looks dead, body needs bed
Mind swirling, fingers play with anything
Sheets smoothe, pillow heaven
Thoughts of food, starved by time
Quakes of emotion, left behind
Bottles clear, from their emptiness
Still, there is air, trapped and unoticed
Corked and done with, Sealing me in
Silently on the cement with the other bottles

It seems there are forces, we cannot control
Leaves our hearts tangled in forest, shining light through its cluster
As it rains and its cold, we seek comfort through our thoughts
Hearts still beat, hands still feel the drops of cold misery
Mind knowing it is better to feel long than nothing
Time speeds accordingly though our routine
A seeking of relieve and ending, the sun bringing hope rays
New beginnings and well deserved, appreciation as we learn
Eyes flood like the roads, messy from the mask ive put on for you
We seek perfection through moments, these anticipated visions
Your eyes dry from the desert and ready for my rain
With you in the desert and I in the forest rain..

Scratching nails for your life
Finger nails to a ****** quick
Chest tensely beating
Dropping stomach
Staring and blank
that taste that is so familiar
Deja vu flavored
A distant memory
A comfortable thought
Holes in the ground
And then
we fall

once when we looked to the stars
back laid back on a towel
sharing hope that love stows in its bowel

then when we looked away
spending our days in dismay
wasting our time away

appreciated words
cherished time
telling you goodbye, just one more time

hands gripped, tears strained
hard as hell, no one to blame
car sitting, tissues ripping

your still here, but no one is listening
so much pain, no remorse
lets let depression take its course

when goodbye feels like forever..
kisses that just cant cauterize the wounds..
tears that burn like salt in cuts..

I  will wait and hurt..
you will hope I  don't..
I will let you down..
you will help me drown..