Hate, destruction, despite my pity
the hate will overcome
horrible, nasty, I'll never get this past me
horror terror, I wish you the worst
alone I will hide at home i will reside
dislike the resentment
move past the wrong
solemnly in silence,
the place I belong..

It awakens when my mind is altered
drunk and completely blacked out
the monster that cant be me

stress builds and things go without being said
so nobody know because its all in my head
just a few shots bring out the evil that cant be me

I hold it inside until I drive myself crazy
then nobody sees it coming
the monster is raging

I has to be me because I am to blame
Though I wouldn't do that if the beast were tame
I will destroy it now before it destroys me

Its mean and hateful and has no mercy
this terrible demon, by which I am ****** it vain
Someone always gets hurt, though I feel the worst

The beast inside of me is driven by pain
it dwells within me and I don't know its name
all I know is it cant be me, this horrible thing

It will destroy me if I don't have control
I will lose everything, my family and home
the one that I love will finally give up

I will become what I have never wanted to be
this burden I will conquer, the beast inside of me..

These Heart felt nothings
Unfulfilled mornings
Me left hurting
Hating myself
Wanting nothing
Maybe a little respect
Hate and bigotry will overcome us
I will overcome myself
I a sure a peasant would frown a pun me
Knowing that I do not appreciate
Loathing myself
Concentrating on oneself
Being selfish and faithless
For nothing. Can save me..
I turn for pity and yet I deserve a whip
I beg for sorrow nd hell; s what fits

I found myself in the strangest place
In a world with many shades
memory erased, so overtaken
Unlike my mind before

An endless maze of thoughts
Once forever growing
Searching for a hault
Not knowing where I'm going

Fear..craze..
making up things..
focuses on what is sad..
kicks you in the ***..
reluctant to make a difference..
realizes it already does..
initiates change..
begins a new self..
asks for help..
lets people in..
holds nothing back..
wants to play..
anxious to win..
falls down..
gets back up..
loses some..
wins just enough..

A reminder through the wind blown tears..
many battles we fight through to the clear..
hopeless romance & letting go..
the friction in love, in which we devote ourselves so..
A reminder that mirror our souls through fear..
Reminders through loss of the ones we hold dear..
hurt & ache will numb us tough..
despite anything love must be enough..
when stress will wear your body down..
a world that projects the here & now..
feeling heavy keeping up..
we snap back into it..
the big picture is the only view..
a game of hit & miss..

Aroma of a man.. a scent to soothe..
a smell that makes me feel close to you..
the comfort of our pillow top.. the place I reminisce a lot..
how we'd even come to be.. a perfect match.. lucky me..
desired by the the other girls.. & I'm the one who rocks your world..
I've found the one to balance my needs.. loving every inch of me..
just your scent keeps me yearning.. due to you I'm always learning..
so very gracious to share your love.. you keep me happy no matter what..
easily we all float on.. though then my world would feel so wrong..
so very strong & nurturing.. my everything so deep in me..
I never thought I could love a man.. then everyday you prove that I can..
you are the one whom I hold so close.. my medicine in the proper dose..
no matter what life puts us through.. your my favorite color in the perfect hue..
the only one I'll ever want.. my everlasting treasure..
rapid pulse..  more than excited..
meeting you.. epiphany..
linked through mind as we are in body..
a shared life.. with man who got me..