I found myself in the strangest place
In a world with many shades
memory erased, so overtaken
Unlike my mind before

An endless maze of thoughts
Once forever growing
Searching for a hault
Not knowing where I'm going

Fear..craze..
making up things..
focuses on what is sad..
kicks you in the ***..
reluctant to make a difference..
realizes it already does..
initiates change..
begins a new self..
asks for help..
lets people in..
holds nothing back..
wants to play..
anxious to win..
falls down..
gets back up..
loses some..
wins just enough..

A reminder through the wind blown tears..
many battles we fight through to the clear..
hopeless romance & letting go..
the friction in love, in which we devote ourselves so..
A reminder that mirror our souls through fear..
Reminders through loss of the ones we hold dear..
hurt & ache will numb us tough..
despite anything love must be enough..
when stress will wear your body down..
a world that projects the here & now..
feeling heavy keeping up..
we snap back into it..
the big picture is the only view..
a game of hit & miss..

Aroma of a man.. a scent to soothe..
a smell that makes me feel close to you..
the comfort of our pillow top.. the place I reminisce a lot..
how we'd even come to be.. a perfect match.. lucky me..
desired by the the other girls.. & I'm the one who rocks your world..
I've found the one to balance my needs.. loving every inch of me..
just your scent keeps me yearning.. due to you I'm always learning..
so very gracious to share your love.. you keep me happy no matter what..
easily we all float on.. though then my world would feel so wrong..
so very strong & nurturing.. my everything so deep in me..
I never thought I could love a man.. then everyday you prove that I can..
you are the one whom I hold so close.. my medicine in the proper dose..
no matter what life puts us through.. your my favorite color in the perfect hue..
the only one I'll ever want.. my everlasting treasure..
rapid pulse..  more than excited..
meeting you.. epiphany..
linked through mind as we are in body..
a shared life.. with man who got me..

To stand a chance in our love.. knees on the ground..
I must be enough.. head in the clouds..
a daze of worry.. the unshakable mood..
repressing my fury.. just to face you..
pours through my fingers.. unconditional love..
all of my trust..puddling up..
life runs away..to my pleasant dreams..
my head opens up.. in the night.. & seals up for the day..
sinking through the door.. staring at the door..
ripping up the blinds.. dirt under my nails..
time after time.. filing me frail..
reminiscence of our bad.. I hate the world & feel so drab..

Lingering anger.. perplexed reminders..
love in danger.. a destined timer..
careless words..endured..deveined..
warped mind.. evil.. deranged..
fake illusion.. brain contusion..
on a stage of untrue.. black curtains.. cover you..
stagnant water..unclear view.. jumping in without a clue..
changing sequence.. me on defense..
waiting for the hidden demons..
extreme caring..left to rot..
realizing what I thought was real.. was not..
distractions overtake you.. then I start to hate you..
I swear it always happens.. every single time..
entangled in you.. yet you're separated..
by your choice.. not mine..

50th years of untold perfection.
A man, the spirit of a good man, in perfect little sections.
a father whom needs no introduction.
The best in everything he is, and he only asks for nothing.
We all need him but want him to live.
hoping that I can do without him.
he does for so many and his heart is large.
and no matter the distance away i go.
we both share that special part.
its so endearing, but yet un-appearing.
no one needs to be shown. Hes humble in spirit.
he shows it through action and he'll help me mirror it.
he doesn't flaunt it or show any struggle.
he loves the hard and hates the suttle.
and hes shown me that life's not bad.
a matter of adjustment to habitat.
just be yourself and honor it.
to the best of the best. A father; a martyr.
my motivation to make life go farther.