Time and time again I think of you.
Memories etched in the corners of my mind.
I try to run away, but the tides keep bringing me back to that smile I long for everyday.
I wanted to grow old with you; I wanted to share all the love I could.
There is no doubt I tried to love you, I tried to show you everything I could be.
That was not enough.
Not enough to keep you from running away.

Every night you creep back into my dreams, reminding me of what I desire, yet cannot have.
I see you in my dreams and wish to never wake up, just to hold you, just to feel you, just knowing you are there is all I have left.
What I would give to run my hands through your deep brown hair one more time, or to hear you say everything will be ok.
But I know that is not reality.
I wake up every morning to the cold, dark truth that awaits me.
I want nothing more than to forget you ever existed in my life, to have never fallen in love with you.
Only then would the hurt be absent from my heart.

Seeing you so happy, so free, only hurts me more.
I wanted to give you the world, and if only given the opportunity, now that I see what I lost, I would give you everything you desired.
I know you no longer love me, I know you no longer care. I just want to know what we once had was real.
One day I hope to move on, one day I hope you will be just another stepping stone.
But for now you remain a poison in my mind.
There is no doubt that I love you, and a part of me always will.

half hour after midnight
and she says
"help, he loves me, and it's confusing me"
i try my hardest
but it was just yesterday
i left that note on her dresser
and i know she read it;
she didn't pretend like she didn't.
So
I'm crying
and shaking as i help.
then she says
"i'll just talk to you about it tomorrow"
and we say our good nights
and our see you tomorrows
and all that.
and i look back at my empty bed
still crying
and i don't stop,
can't stop
the tears just flow
and i can't stop shaking.
so i listen to sappy love songs
occasionally wiping my desk with kleenex.
an hour later i give up
and climb into my empty bed
still shaking
still crying
sometimes i wish she really knew
sometimes i wish someone did



©Brandon Webb
2012

When I was younger
I realized that if I only liked one girl at a time
only thought about one
I became obsessive and never ended up with her
lately i've realized-
If I think about several girls at once
and tell myself
I'll give the thoughts of the others up
If I ever
end up with any of them-
I don't get obsessive,
I get confused
but confused is not obsessive
confusion limits how extreme I allow my emotions to become
but having any feelings at all
for a girl
is enough for me to fall for her if it ever comes to that point
but tracking multiple lives
and often getting so extremely confused
leaves me unable
to break through my shyness
and anxiety
to take a chance with any of them.
Just because I write about other girls
don't assume i'm not thinking about you
you're here
I just find it impossible to write about people who may read
what i've written about them.
I write about you
in my head
but rarely write any of it down
sometimes I hope you do the same

right now-
I hope you read your name out of this
and aren't offended

Whenever you should cry
I will be your window to the sky
to remind you each time
that every rain pour is followed by the sun's shine.

I know you'll never do the same for me
because you know I already see
but it doesn't hurt any less
when you pretend not to notice my distress.

You tell me a joke and you make me smile
but this tactic of yours can only last for a while
it may help in the moment but does not make it better
and I realise that I am forever alone in this stormy weather.

Overhead the tree-tops meet,
Flowers and grass spring ’neath one’s feet;
There was nought above me, and nought below,
My childhood had not learned to know:
For what are the voices of birds
—Ay, and of beasts,—but words—our words,
Only so much more sweet?
The knowledge of that with my life begun!
But I had so near made out the sun,
And counted your stars, the Seven and One,
Like the fingers of my hand:
Nay, I could all but understand
Wherefore through heaven the white moon ranges,
And just when out of her soft fifty changes
No unfamiliar face might overlook me—
Suddenly God took me!

Youth runs hot, shinning souls consumed by desire.
On a search, they look for love to acquire.
But life walks by and shine does fade,
And all are in a masquerade.

It is as Heathcliff and his Kathy, they lost their love for pride.
If ether one had shown their face, would Kathy be his bride?
But life walks by and scars are made,
And all are in the masquerade.

Will you be as Ahab was, relentless for his whale.
If he had looked without his mask, would wind still hold his sails?
But life walks by and some do die,
And still goes on the masquerade.

Or will you be as the Phantom, searching for Christine.
But in the end it is Christine that finds true beauty hidden.
But life walks by and some scars fade.
And still some play the masquerade.

I beg you live your lives with passion, don't give yourself to fear.
For it is in  life's darkest hours that true beauty does appear.
To look beyond life's ugly scars, to see a heart in all it's pain...
And love despite.


Do search you for your strange duet, and be not afraid to lift his mask.
For therein is where true beauty lies... And life walks by.

All armies are the same
Publicity is fame
Artillery makes the same old noise
Valor is an attribute of boys
Old soldiers all have tired eyes
All soldiers hear the same old lies
Dead bodies always have drawn flies

An unwritten story
That will never have words.
A sentence waiting to be spoken
That is never going to be heard.
A quick glance in your eyes,
Just as swiftly, looking away.
Talking to you every day, but
Still not knowing what to say.
Alone time together?
We’re just friends, so it’s fine.
What are you thinking?
That you want to be mine?
I hate that you say you’re imperfect,
Because you’re everything to me.
What more could I love in a person?
What is it that you can’t see?
Hearing your ridiculous laugh
Always brightens up my day.
I’m shutting out these thoughts, though,
Because they’re useless, anyway.
We’ll never be together
You’ll never feel the same.
When I’m gone in August,
You’ll probably forget my name.
Until then, I’ll catch stars in your eyes
Only when you cannot see.
I will write some rhymes and poems
About what could never be.

When he gazes at me,
I am a puddle that has melted
To the ground
For his stare is so intense
It could break even the strongest steel.

He tells me jokes every morning.
Just to see me smile
Just to make me laugh
Before we begin our days.

We have these deep conversations
That nobody else could get me to speak.
He knows that I keep myself held high
He knows that sometimes, I just need
To break.

He understands where I am coming from,
But he won’t always let me win.
He knows when his argument is valid.
Although he hates to fight,
He knows how to.

He holds me every night,
My hands close,
But my heart closer,
And whispers in my ear how much he loves me.
Not because he needs to.
Because he wants to.

I trust him.
And I don’t trust anybody.
He is completely honest with me,
Just as I am with him.
And for once,
Just this once,
I believe him.