It's more than just a paintbrush
It's proof to show you I care
And I just sit here doodling
Wallowing in the depths of my despair
You must know that I am sorry
You must know that I do care
It's just when the world is spinning
My sorrow I often share
I never meant to ruin your life
And when you turn to your despair
Just remember it's a battle
Just remember I am scared...

Nothing stops for life
Even when you dearly need it to
The earth keeps spinning
Yet all I can think of is you

I'm done with ****** up reality
And apparently it's done with me
I keep getting stabbed
And the pain is trapped in me

The numbness is hollow
And hollow prevails
I was told he died for me
With wood and rusty nails

Is this a story
Did he ever exist
The savior I've learned to love
Has fallen to abyss

The blood keeps flowing
Down and over my hand
Why does hurt have a habit
Of being washed up on the sand

You can try to help
But I'm too numb to feel
I've been consumed
I don't know what's real

So I'll paint my nails once more
And hope you forgive me as well
I promise that this nothingness
Will go and burn in hell

All I want is to feel pretty
All I want is to feel loved
All I want is to be skinny
Not the obese pig that I am right now
If I could fall into a man's arms
If I could look into a mirror without crying
If I could just once
Step into the world with
A genuine smile
Maybe I'd realize
Maybe I'm worth it

Come make her bleed
Fill her deepest need
See into her eyes
See the darkness inside
Watch the wicked smile
She's burning for a while
Fueling her to be free
Free from the sin that won't let her be
The screams strike as thunder clash-inside the broken glass
Fist pounding as cuts lash
Glass shattering until she's free at last
Until there's nothing inside
Nothing but the silent screams
The ones of broken dreams
Of the girl that sees nothing but black
Of the life that she can't get back
So come see her bleed
Fill her darkest need
See into her eyes
See the darkness inside
The screams strike as thunder clash-inside the broken glass
Fist pounding as cuts lash
Glass shattering until she's free at last
She won't come to those who call
She won't come to any at all
The girl that sees nothing but black
Of the life she can't get back.

I wondered why I started ,
How I started,
It used to make my cry when I did it,
But not anymore,
I go deeper and no longer care if my legs scar,
My heart and soul are scared enough yet nobody sees that so maybe I should show the world my mind and mentality,
Yet I hide it from the world,
My parents don't want to believe it so they ignore what they see,
If they don't care why should I?
I want to die,
I have absolutely nothing left to live for anymore,
The cutting is maybe the reason that I am still alive,
It's the only think that keeps me from jumping off the precipice,
And ending my pathetic existence.

Everything is nighttime now,
My heart and soul are pitch black,
My pain and my inability to handle it scare me,
I no longer have a sun to guild me,
When you cut,
It gives you a momentary relief then you feel worse than before,
But like and addiction that you can't stop,
You won't stop until you reach your eternal sleep or damnation in Hell

Beauty is in every single thing

Even in the parted skin as the blood flows from within
Like a new born stream it takes shape
As it drips down my stomach and flows beyond
I see my own version of beauty everyday
When I look hard and slit away
Beauty is in every single thing
In all my scars and every wound being created