killer clowns
blows to the head
why doesn't this
make any sense
I'm so confused
don't know what to do
so i hold by breath
til my face turns blue
flowing right out
of my veins there is blood
creating a stain
on the old fashioned rug
flush it all down
so its all underground
don't look there is mud
on all fours of the truck
must mean it went somewhere
accomplished something, it did
went to hell and back
but still as a kid

words stuck to paper
like my thoughts in my mind
i cannot speak what i feel
unless its in the form of a rhyme
the thoughts flow easy
when acompanied by a pen
i just feel like writing
never wanting to end
my pencil dances flowingly
as i write it all down
i write about love and life and sadness
sometimes my fears like mice and clowns
theres so much you can learn
by reading what i write
you would know my deepest secrets
my dreams, my peevs, and my internal fights
for some writing doesnt come easy
but for my its just like pie
i can sit with a pen and paper
and watch the time tick by
i may not be very talented
but it makes my tension cease
since im not all that outspoken
writing it down puts me at ease
most are all the same length
a total of thirtytwo lines
unless its a venting poem,
those take up way more time
til the next time i write again
my thoughts will stay away
hidden in my mental safe
until a better day

blood red romance
take me away
the razor hath slain
blood did stain
dripping emotions
seeping out of skin
old scars broken
new ones begin
if you look close
you can see
the dark mark on my jeans
hides blood underneath
put down pile up
makes me feel ****** up
i realize i messed up
and thats when i cut up
mental relief
that feels so sweet
the pressure is off
for a little cost
just a sharp razor
that i keep close
the mini rush i feel
cannot be matched
my mental stability
is not what it seems
casue it feels so good
having blood ooze in streams
hiding the pain
thats actaully inside
let my have my metal
so i can go and hide

I left because I was scared
I just wish you would've cared
Enough to tell me to say
Looking back as I walked away
But you just turned around
Did'nt even make a sound
My head spinning fast
I really thought this would last
I could have held on
You could have held on
I was such a coward
Afraid of the crowd
Afraid of the noises and glances
I wish I did'nt care
I could have stayed
But I didn'nt
I walked away
I ran away
Honestly
It's hard
Getting by everyday
But I smile and wave
And put on a brave face

This day brings too many memories
too many reasons to cry
but you wouldnt know anything
by looking me in the eye
part of me is happy
that you're not in my life
but the other part is saddened
along with feelings of sorrow and of strife
I have met someone worth my time
his love is true and sincere
no longer do I wait for you
he's helped my conquer my worst fear
though he's nothing like you
but that I do not mind
he's funny, good looking, nice
he gets me and he's kind

this day brings me sadness
yet it also brings me hope
thankfull I'm not stuck on you
and that I havent a reason to mope
I'll keep our memories in my head
but push them out of my heart
with this day comes an ending
and an even better start
I do a lot of reflecting today
just thinking on the past
and to be honest, the time I've wasted on you
makes me start to laugh
I couldnt seem to shake
the feelings I had for you
I convinced myself you were perfect
that your feelings, though hidden, were true

realizing you were fake
was the hardest thing I've done
but now I've conquered my feelings
and I feel like I have won
I was too young and too foolish
looking for love too soon
you were fresh out of love
wondering if again you could swoon
well you had my heart for three years
now it's time to face the facts

you've played with my emotions
and put on a splendid act
you mean nothing to me now
if stated would be a lie
I'm done trying to get to you
I don't want anymore reasons to cry
that was something you were always good at
and very frequently did
so lets face the truth
I'm mature and you are still a kid
goodbye my almost lover
I hope your life is fun
I cant say I enjoyed the heartache
but at least now it's done

The mulled cider is spoiled
the drunken clown ran out of helium
the roses withered
sapphire's shattered
the paper is burned
your eyes dont shine
they dont sparkle
your arm is now covered
with scars brought on by a lover
write it down in the books
cause boy I've never loved another
the way I once loved you
a place in my heart
for a man of 420
my mistake
would be our fate
oblivious to lies
you then became
part of my game
two timing you
not my intention
took you out of my jar
of hearts past broken
but returned you there after my mistake
close up your scars
and dry your **** eyes
it's over now
don't call me baby
I've done you wrong
move on today
you'll do great
she'll love you like i did
but you'll be her only
spoil her silly
notice her quirks
she'll love you like i did
she'll love your embrace
she'll know your face like i did
she'll love your piercings, your tattoos
and even your car
c'mon kid you'll be fine
show off that smile
and those beautiful eyes
she'll be a **** toker
just like you
you'll laugh together
like we have so many times before
you'll love her as much
as you once lived me
she'll love you like i did
but you'll be her only

Put the past behind us
it's over now
differentiatie the lies from the truth
solemn sorrow
hide your faults
show your talents
better yet
show your faults
and let them laugh
casue only you know
the fire deep within
reckoning the winds
drizzle the lies with more lies
sugarcoat it to sound good
once upon a time
I used to believe
only fools believe