drive myself crazy
flashing lights behind glass
friendships don't touch
links don't feel

why do I do this?
why why why do I replay this
obscene routine of hate?
how very silly of me
thinking people want me there
but no I'm just here
—not there—
behind a screen

not immersed with those
coloured lights
no no man
body don't pulse with that music

I started writing this book
once
and I put you all in it because yeah I really believed we
defined each other's lives
so I stopped writing the stupid book

I'm not in yours so I'll
wait until the pages write themselves
and erase you all out

I kept buying you ink and that's stupid
I kept holding a tin can to my ear man
weren't you at the other end?

No one listens to anything but
Their own ******* pulse
Dum dum dum

Can you hear me singing over
The sounds of your skull?
Dum dum
Do you see my mouth flutter like an insect that shares and dances or
Do you only see your own stupid
Eyelashes?
And their own ******* rumba?

The only thing you truly own is
Yourself
You don't need to claim ownership of yourself and be this
Attentive to yourself the one thing that's yours—
Look harder in front of you don't
Dumb dumb dumb yourself
Down
Like a mindless lacklustre thing!
Paint with the
Colours of other people
Stop waiting for your
Turn to talk

Wipe the spit from your
Chin

My baths always run so hot that
They melt my skin into goo or maybe—
They're just so cold that nothing escapes my body
And all of this tense tense tension sticks in there like resin

I think about all of these itching things of the day
Baths are good for that yeah

Yes I do know there is a rip in my t-shirt
No I didn't do it on purpose

I want to rip everybody's eyes out because
There's just no light in there!
Are your bulbs blown by choice?
Can your irises still seek starlight?

Man stop pretending you're phased out
We all know you're so phased into reality that you have to pretend you've escaped it
Your feet are through the ground yeah
Can't you feel it?
Oh no, right, you can't feel anything

The day the world sees how shallow
Her roots are
There'll be this eternal rain and everybody will see kindness and feel the earth again

nothing is eter-
-nal and I am struggling with
a fact such as that