When you arrive I am so relieved to see you
because whenever you're around I feel such relief
we only need a brief introduction
Before I pull you near to me
I hold you so close
and feel you against my skin
all that has once plagued me
goes down the drain again
I can't seem to let you go
I love the warmth you bring
but when I finally let you go
I need you close again
I repeat this till I feel better
or light headed or sore
or sometimes I stop to clean
The blood that lies on the floor

And with all the pain that plagues me
All the unfortunate events I've endured
The knives in the back
and those that slide across my body more
With memories filled with heartache
and a mind filled with rage
my life has been a horror novel
I'm afraid to turn the page
With all these things that haunt me
including mistakes that I've made
Nights I've spent alone
or haven't left my bed for days
Made myself sick
but couldn't clean up the mess
So much in the head
but empty in the chest
close my eyes and wish
but nothing ever comes true
open my eyes and see
that no one ever follows through
cried for help
to have the door slammed in my face
offer up my affection
to just be turned away
the only words I hear from others
are lies they wished I'd tell myself
No one wants to deal
with a girl who needs help
Some nights I scream
but every night I cry
Here I stand still
No one appreciates I'm alive

In the end what it comes down to
is all those who said they'd be there aren't
and all those who said they care don't
and all those who said they promised broke it like it was never made
Because as humans we don't care about anything
Not our earth, not ourselves and certainly not eachother
tonight I needed you, I needed ******* someone
and you weren't here and maybe you just never were

I only write when I'm falling in love or when I want to die;
Can you guess what's on my mind tonight?