Why do I bother with love
It only leads to me falling apart

I wish someone would see me and just think "wow"
I wish someone would be scared to talk to me
I wish someone wanted my nose or my smile
I wish someone thought about listening to my voice for hours
I wish someone found me interesting
I wish someone envied anything about me
I wish someone thought about my laugh
I wish someone brought me up in conversation
I wish someone would call me beautiful
Just for once I wish people viewed me as I viewed them
I feel like I pass by so unnoticed

I guess I'm just not who you thought I would be
Because I have a cold heart and I have cold feet
Can you feel them radiating from me?
I don't know why I tried to compete, I always end up in defeat
I truly thought I could be more this time
Of course for you but also for I
I want to be ethereal, I want to be a miracle
I'll never be a thing but used material
should I try to love you or love myself?
I don't know which one would be worse if it didn't work out
It's been so long since I was important to you but I have no doubt
This is what it's always been about

I thought I was in love but the only thing I was in was denial.

I will never be mysterious and ****
Charming or beautiful
Talented, unattainable
With a smooth voices and a soft chuckle
I will always laugh too loud
Talk too long with a choppy voice
Have frizzy hair and a crooked smile
Awkward and accident prone, boring
I'll never be my ideal thought of beauty
Will I ever be okay with that?

Don't fall in love
It'll never work out
Be nothing instead
It lasts forever

Maybe I feel such hate for myself
because I've given all my love away to everyone else