Even though you left I think I'm the one whose suffering from loneliness
Each breath I exhale burns like I'm running out of oxygen
I carry a weight around but I'm not sure what it is exactly
is it the memories or who I was supposed to be?
I can't find an answer, not even sealed in a kiss
I thought I believed in true love but this can't be it
The confusion blurs my vision and I ask everyone to speak twice
because I can't see the small details I appreciated once in life
Everything seems to rehearsed and predictable
I want some pain that at least I can control
I am used and unwanted I wish I could burn this shell to the ground
My body is aching for abuse because it has no reason now
my mind is screaming at me but all you hear is silence
I can't even die right, what a coincidence
I wish I could say I am nothing but that is not the case
I am a failure, a betrayal, I am my worse mistakes
I want to be free from the prison that is my own mind
the cell walls are my flesh I can cut bars into any time
Where is the happiness I was once promised?
Why is the world so ******* dishonest.

I saw a photo of you
and all I could think about was dying
so I cut myself with my mom's new knife set
and I cried in the shower for hours

And if I were to die, what would it mean?
If I crashed in a car or was carried out to sea
I know others who've passed and I wish I was in their place
Because they are the ones needed to stay
So if I was to die, what would it mean?
If I laid on the traintracks or was left to bleed
I know others who struggle but let me go first
If you were die the pain would be worse
What if I was to die, what would it mean?
If I swallowed pills or didn't wake up from my dreams
I know others who grieve but with me its be relief
So what would it mean if it would mean anything

There were nights we spent together
when you thought I was asleep
but my eyes were just closed
and I was listening to you breathe
and because you thought I wouldn't remember
you moved my hair to kiss my neck
these are the moments
I cant seem to forget