Use me up
Break me down
Tear the soul
From my body out
Lay me down
Lay me down
In the grave
You hollowed out

Turn it up
Drown me out
Close this door
Shut me down
Burn my soul
Burn it all
To the ground
To the ground

Wake me up
Wake me up
To the sound
Of my way out
Of this dream
Laid to rest
In the grave
Your hollow chest

Something funny I’ve noticed is that when people are honestly just sad about something they tend to use hyperbole and end up saying things like, “I’m so depressed!”

…and what’s strange is that when people are honestly very depressed they also tend to use hyperbole and end up saying things like, “I’m sad.”

this time you're really
dying, and all i can do
is sit back and watch

i think my feel box is malfunctioning, i gotta find a screwdriver to pop off the faceplate and inspect the insides. it keeps saying the latitude and longitude aren’t localized. i can’t calibrate it because i’m up in the air. it flickers when it beeps and my static causes feedback. birds don’t know anything about artificial connective tissue, but they know all about falling.

i reached up my hands

and plucked out a little life

from the low branches

brick by brick by brick by brick
semantic satiation
castles, majesty, and mighty
sinew segregation
whisper, water wearing down
the rock-wall and the nation

I love you more
than the air in my lungs
upon which I'm carried
away from your arms

You drove a fishing lure into my palm
And told me it was just the beginning
That all homes house beds
And form is just another word

You pointed to the sky
But it was really just a mirror
And all the words I breathed into it
Bounced off and floated on
Like tiny crystal clouds
You gently ****** out of the air

There’s three ways to burn out a star
Call home and tell your mother you’re doing okay
But you won’t be home for Chirstmas
Tell her the dress she bought you wrinkled
So you cut up the edges with broken glass
Ask her to save your pay stubs in the spare bedroom
With the wedding ring you never could sell
Tell her she’s beautiful despite the lighting because the bulb is in your throat anyway

There’s two ways to burn out a star
Take your roommate out for coffee
Order one thing the cashier likes and another the manager hates
Tell your roommate you couldn’t decide what he’d like best
Ask him about the first time he saw an accident
Ask him if he saw the dog
And if he didn’t you show him where it hurts you most
Right under your navel where that filament got stuck

There’s one way to burn out a star
Leave a voicemail for yourself asking where you’ve gone to
And where did you put all of the towels
Make a fuss about a dinner party
Leave your phone on the bench and put on dark glasses
Walk away slowly while stripping off your clothes
Head into the sea

I’m up before the sun most days

Drinking instant coffee and debating with myself

I write out all my thoughts and no conclusions come to mind

The phone rings off the hook but no one calls

I leave the house but never go outside

And every wall remembers what I’ve done behind fresh paint

No grounds for or from

I sleep before the dawn, between the lines

There’s a sick, sad little space
between tea spoons and midnight
where the teeth on your fingertips chatter
and the ink in your forearm prattles on
about which bone you’re going to pull out this time
and how your chapped lips taste like poetry
but your dry eyes can’t bend around the prosody
and it’s in that space that my clothes turned into feathers
and flew away with the *****
the one that pipes out those same four chords
and tempered breath made into rotting elephants on sale
but the bazaar called for more than just pennies
and I don’t think my cough medicine blinks enough
to make this dance hall stop spinning

My brain has been infected with memories of years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to smell you again
I want to sense you again

Half of my body lies next to me and half of it lies next to you
Half of my heart is in a jar and half of it in a tomb

My mind is split and I regress into years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to surprise you again
I want to inspire you again

Half of my soul is black and blue and half of it is gray
Half of my stomach is on the floor and half of it in my chest

My love is broken and belongs to years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to lie with you again
I want to lie to you again

I see you swinging
you smile when the wind is in your face
you laugh when your stomach drops a bit on the backswing
you look so happy
I’m so happy

I see you swinging
you cry when your toes hit the ground
you shudder when you lose momentum
you look so sad
I’m so sorry

I see you swinging
you start all by yourself sometimes
you get a push other times
you just sit there once in a while
I’m so nervous

I see you swinging
you know I’m watching
you know I’m feeling
you know I’m thinking
I’m so confused

I see you swinging
and I sit here playing in the dirt
building castles
wishing you’d stay in the air and never come down
I’d always know where you were
and I wouldn’t have to see you swinging

death sounds sweet as honey when played upon my lips and in
my ears
it echoes like silent whispers in my mind and tortures
far away
I could make it closer
all you have to do is beckon
if you call it
it shall come
if you act upon it
life shall go
like a vicious circle it runs and around and around, over and over, until
it drives you
mad

          and then you write

She knelt there on the dusty, stained carpet that stung her ****** knees through torn nylons. The lighting was bad and the air was heavy. Her frame shivered in the warmth of the cheap hotel room of which she wasn’t even sure how she made it to. Her chest rose and fell violently as tears stung across her cheeks and fell like bullets to her sides. Her heart, or what was left of the mutilated muscle, pounded against her ribs like mallets to a vibraphone. She could no longer feel the pain.

Her weak hands grasped the handle of the blade like a child holds mother’s hand, and she realized then that the furniture here wasn’t waiting for her to put on a show. There were no cameras. There was no microphone. No people. No bodies. No eyes. No ears. She was alone. There was no use imagining it as a heartbreaking scene in a movie; a tear inducing, award-winning music video; a postcard. But she moved like a dancer in her mind’s eye as she tightened her grip on the knife in her hand and a tear played across her lips, now bringing in air between them softly and lightly; barely alive. All she wanted was for him to burst through the door, screaming, and run to her; and hold her. She imagined it in her mind; she thought of the whole act, but she wasn’t sure when his lines were. She waited, hesitated as the ceiling refracted shadows of a different world with each passing car on the highway that brought her far from home and into comfort now torn from her soul. No one was running to her, no one was chasing after her, this time.

The blade plunged deep into her chest with an unstoppable force from something preternatural within and without her. Her breathing was fast and harsh as her eyes darted around the room they had shared briefly. Her head spun faster than the walls. The red stain grew across the front of her dress like a flower blossoming. Tears filled her mouth as she finally accepted the realization that she would die here alone and he wasn’t going to find her just in time like in all the stories; even the real ones.

She fell gracefully like feathers from the sky to the floor, to her side. As she bled out she hoped she would think of all of the beautiful moments she had experienced in her life. She hoped she would think of all of the things in life that used to make her happy. She hoped she would think of his face, his touch, his smile, and her love for him.  She hoped she would regret her choice. She hoped she would feel something, anything at all; but all she could think about was how she’d like to notify management about the collections of dust and small debris under the bed left behind by housekeeping. Her lifeless eyes began to close and she knew for the first time she would actually get some rest. In her last moment she felt like the universe; beautiful and infinite and empty. She faded from the world like snow on warm skin as the door opened in slow motion and his blurry shoes couldn’t carry his body to her side, like in all the stories; even the real ones.

He knelt there on the dusty, stained carpet. The lighting was bad and the air was heavy. His frame shivered in the warmth of the cheap hotel room of which he had only paid for hours earlier. He collapsed into himself, weeping silently, wishing he still loved her.

My chest filled with rice

Boiling water, your mouth

We could have fed nations

Inside this fractured head of mine
I find no solace, only time
But time makes waste and waste makes rhyme
So hastily I'll say, "I'm fine"

Inside this broken head I hold
No secrets, words adorned in gold
The wind blows through, so brash and bold,
This desolate world etched in cold

Inside this splitting skull, you see
There are no demons, only me
The epitaph reads, "set me free"
I wait for you, here, patiently

Yeah, maybe I'm too serious
and I take things too personally
and I feel things too deeply
but you have to remember
that you broke my heart
and I loved you through it all
and I never got angry;
only at myself
so now I have a chance
to be mad at you; livid, seething
and you have to realize
that it might be
the only thing
that will heal this

i'll be the toxin
if you wear me on your skin
if you feel me in your veins i'm working
my way
into your heart
across your lungs
and take the blood from bone
let me be the toxin
and you'll never feel alone
but i'll leave you
barren
bony
cold
and dry
just the way i like it
just the way you died

When the birds devour me
I hope they start with the soft tissue
my eyes and ears and mouth destroyed
my senses lost to the sky

When the birds devour me
I hope they find their fill in my stomach
where the weight of the world was carried far too long
wearing my viscera like Versace

When the birds devour me
I hope they pick my digits - one through ten and ten again
so I may touch every part of the world when they carry me away
so that my feet may fall on grounds I’d only dreamed to grace

When the birds devour me
I hope they tear open my chest and make their way behind these ribs
not realizing the irony of the situation as they sing
and I am filled with the music with each rise and fall

When the birds devour me
I hope they take my bones between them in their thanksgiving, pulling
wishing for legs to run and hands to hold, for lips to kiss
if they only knew, if they only knew

empty house, floor is cold
sense of fear

dull gray sky, snow on ground
you're not here

water glass, film on top
baggy-eyed

lost myself, "I'm okay"
dead inside

The Bible forgot
the eighth and most deadly sin,
which, of course, is Love.

I can’t sleep at night
you know I never have
can’t even dream no more
spend all day inside my head
and I won’t try again, I won’t
try to find myself, I won’t
try to hide from this, I won’t
close my eyes.

I can’t lie, you know
the devil lives in me
takes up all my time
he likes my company
and I won’t cry again, I won’t
try to find my way, I won’t
try to be okay, I won’t
open my eyes.

I can’t smile no more
my lips deceive my mind
I’m not a child no more
I’m aging all the time
and I won’t trust again, I won’t
try to be someone, I won’t
try to please anyone, I won’t
dry your eyes.

I can’t stand the morning
kills me more each day
I’m so detached now
from this unbearable pain
and I won’t love again, I won’t
try to breathe in, I won’t
try to believe and I won’t
dot my i’s.

well they say that your heart is the size of your fist
and my friends try to hit me but most times they miss
but your heart is a wrecking ball, i can’t escape it
and now I can’t remember the last time we kissed

and you buried my heart somewhere under your sheets
and my soul is out in the rain wandering the streets
and my mind’s in november trying to piece this together
and my body is trying so hard to remember

that there was a time when you looked in my eyes
and you told me i’m beautiful, but was it a lie
are these memories, killing me, haunting you too
and did you ever love me, dear, like i love you

were those words that you wrote to me covered in ink
that would wash away easy in the bathroom sink
off your hands, as you wash out the memory of me
while your colors still stain everything that i see

well they say that your heart is as big as your fist
and for all the times i’ve been knocked out i have missed
and your heart is a wrecking ball, can we survive this
when i can’t even remember the last time we kissed

yeah you buried my broken heart under these sheets
and my lonely soul’s lost somewhere out on the streets
and my mind’s in november trying to keep us together
and my body is shaking as i try to remember

the time that you held me and looked in my eyes
and you made me feel beautiful, and i felt alive
now these memories are killing me, do you miss me too
and could you ever love me, now, like i love you

were those words that you spoke to me covered in ink
that would wash away easily right down the sink
wash your hands of this, wash out the colors of me
while your memory stains everything that i see*

and they say that your heart is the size of your fist
and my friends try to hit me but most times they’ve missed
and your heart is a wrecking ball, i can’t escape it
and now i can’t remember the last time i kissed you.