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 Apr 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
Enjoying it
For as long as it takes.
Trying to believe you
When you say this isnt fake.

You mean so much to me.
You're my hero, best friend.
You have a piece of me.
I just dont want this to end.

I'm so afraid
Paralysed with fear
That you will leave me
That you won't always be near.

Because you make me so happy.
Like I can fight the whole world.
This poem though, is getting sappy.
So I will leave it with these last words.
Copyrights: Sem Kristina
 Mar 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
Looking for a bottle
Nothing here to find
Feeling the need to get totally wasted
Inside my head it's already a dark night

I'm on my knees
With a knife in my head
Waiting for the voice
To say I should be dead

Please dont say goodbye
Remember when you said hi?
It was the best day of my life.
Now it's me, myself and my ****** knife.
 Mar 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
Knifes are still screaming at me
The light that shines upon them
Begging me to cave in
To cave in across my skin
Until the skin turns red
And the blood flows out, slowly.

The voice keeps whispering
That I should cut before he leaves
To prepare myself
For the pain and the loneliness
For the darkness that will talk to me again.

They say I should go
And be inpatient again
To torture myself
To tear my own heart

They even say
I have to lie to him
Just so he would leave
And I would be home
In the darkness of my mind
The deepest part
Only he has found.

And the fear is paralizing.
No more realizing
Of the happiness I found
Every time
His voice is the sound
The only sound in the cold room I'm in.

And some part of me
Wishes to save him
And another part
Wants him to save me
From my own dark cloud
The dark cloud, I myself
have made.

And I have to cave in
But I don't want to disappoint him.
But the voice won't stop.
And it's killing me from inside out.
Copyrights: Sem Kristina
 Mar 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
I need a hero
but mine just left.
I need a savior
but my tears just fell.

I need a hero
but he drove away
I know he had to
but I feel like I was lead astray.

I need a hero
but he had to go home.
I have a hero
But I feel so alone.
Copyrights: Sem Kristina
 Feb 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
Home
 Feb 2016 Jelle Lerutte
Clown
I have no idea how to do this without you.
You're so far away.
And it seems like time stands still.
Raging, hating, the need to ****.
When I'm with you
nothing matters.
Everything's good
Nothing is shattered.
And I feel so safe
no fear of a rage.
You make me better
you make me happy.
Home is where the heart is.
My heart is with you.
Please let me be home again, soon.
Copyrights: Sem Kristina

— The End —