Where do you think we're gonna be,
twenty years from now?
when I'm a deadbeat daughter
and you're a drunken *******

and if I'm being honest, I don't really care
I just wanna be where your light is,
I wanna be where you face the dark,
I don't care, I could break down anywhere

'Cause I don't think we broke each other,
I think we broke ourselves

and I'll be Zelda, you be Scott
and I'll paint and dance ballet
and I'll watch you destroy yourself
while I'm wasting away

as long as I'm,
your deadbeat girl

Firstly, I'd just like to say: *******.


*******.
*******.
*******.
*******, *******.

You are the only ******* one who knows a ******* thing about me
You are the only one who I ever believed really loved me

*******.

Did you really think that after all these years and all this-- that because I wasn't going to be yours-- that you could leave me?
Don't you understand,
Just because I'm better alone and ****** up
Doesn't mean you can leave me?

And everyone here thinks I'm a total ****-up
And the ones who stick around just think that I'm funny or they like the idea of me & bedsheets and I hate them for it
      Backwards and ****** up and completely too emotional,        do you miss me?

      ******* and I miss you.


I wanted to tell you,       my favourite person in the world can't remember my name anymore
She's spent the last month that you've spent forgetting everything about me, trying to remember anything about me

I wanted to tell you,            because you once would mend these things
Now it seems you're the one hammering the nails in


I'm exhausted now but under my breath I'm still muttering,      slowly, "*******."

You're the only friend I ever had and now you take my soft-spoken,     heart-broken,     tear-soaked apologies and you say,      "*******."?


Here and now I'm utterly alone in the dark      thinking of all the times you saved me from it
And how you just left     because I couldn't love you     like we both wanted me to

Of all people and things,      I never thought you'd be my executioner

a few months ago,
you asked me: "What is love?"
As you can see,
it had taken me a long time to understand the question myself,
but I think I've finally come up with an answer.
Unfortunately,
the English language
has only one word to describe something that has limitless interpretations.
In Greek,
there are three words for the three basic types of love.
Eros;
lust.
This type of love
is when you find yourself doodling their name
on the inside of your history textbook,
dotting the I's with hearts
as if you are 13 again and you were just asked on your first date.
You chose that textbook
because it will be the only place no one would ever think to look.
You think about everything you would be far too shy to say or act in person,
making out in the back of a movie theatre
not caring who would walk past,
sneaking off away from your friends just to have two measly moments of what you both call "peace."
Most often,
this type of love is encased in "I love you"
only to obtain a certain goal.
Virginty,
a picture,
or even just one more night
of having them in your arms.
Eros is not authentic,
it is emphemeral.
Phileo;
Brotherly Love.
The friend you would drop anything for in a heartbeat to make sure of their wellbeing,
but also the neighbor you see from time to time watering their garden.
They ask you
to tend to their garden while they are away,
and you do it
even though you've never spoken more than a paragraph to the man
because it is what you believe is right.
This type of love is the devotion of time and energy without any promise of compensation in return,
purely out of the good of heart.
Phileo lasts as long as the people do.
The final type of love
is Agape;
unconditional love.
In religion,
we are guided
or pushed
towards showing this type of love towards the diety.
Yet, very rarely
it is shown towards a human being.
Unconditional love
is the ability to say so much with only uttering a single word.
I have experienced this love,
it is great pain
and great sadness
but the feelings of pain will never leave my lips
in case they are transferred to the person i wish to have the least pain.
This kind of love
is when it is not only enough that you think about them every waking moment but every slumber-filled one as well. You have hung up your needs at the front door along with the key to your heart and devoted yourself entirely to them,
even if they don't reciprocate.
They have been adopted by your body and taken the form of a vital *****.
If you do not
pay absolute attention
to them at all times
you will run into many problems.
You need to keep them running smoothly in order to stay alive and healthy,
because without them you are nothing.
You are a sorry sack of bones with a beating heart with no purpose.
Unconditional love is taking all the lessons you have ever learned
all the rights and wrongs you have finally learned the difference between and throwing them out the window.
It is the thin line between sanity and insanity,
heaven and hell,
and safety and danger.
You walk the rope
from building to building
without the promise of a net.
Unconditional love
is authentic,
but not emphemeral.
((Love *****, don't do it.))

Once every year,
We cry, "Lest we forget"
But more often than not
I believe it to be "Lest we remember"
Because intentions can only cry so loudly
Like bluebirds can only fly so high
And like thankfulness becomes forgetfulness
Like a paper flutters in the wind and disappears

We cry, "Lest we forget"
But what we seem to forget is to remember
We must chose to hold on and hold our breath
A shock to our system to prevent choice by inaction
A choice to forget

Once every year,
We cry, "Lest we forget"
But more often than not
I believe it to be "Lest we remember"
Bluebirds can only fly so high,
But they will soar with nostalgic wing beats
So long as they remember the way home

I will overcome you
What I fear I have already done
I will hold my head high
I will love every aspect of myself
I will no longer run
I won't let your looks bring me down
I have been minimized by you long enough
I have broken out of your cage
And flown and explored beyond its bounds
You are nothing but my past
I will stop dwelling on you
I will stop letting you appear in my mind
For you have no hold over me
I am stronger than you

There was a girl.
She loved to dance with the breeze.
Her heart used to sing, as she swayed with the trees.

But one day the wind stopped, and out rolled the thunder.
Disoriented and confused, she had many blunders.
How could she have known how deep into the pit she would fall.
She hated her life, but was too proud to shout out her call.
Her scandals have her trapped.
For a permanent effect on the mind and heart has occurred.
Her body as well has suffered.
Her will to carry on is blurred.

She should have listened when she had the chance.
But she was to curious and he seemed so advance.
She thought honesty about potential harm would be an innate human trait.
But not everyone is good in this world, and in her heart she has developed hate.  

She tries to forget by hiding tears with laughter.
But a way to escape her life is all that's she's after.
There's always one in the batch that's just like its makers.
She got the worst of both her parents traits, and she knows where they will take her.
She has no illusion, and she hopes for the worst.
Just to hide from her shame and to make the ones who made her this way feel worse.
Make them hate themselves because of what they caused.  
It's not like she doesn't hold herself accountable but she feels that in her life there's been fraud.

How could you do it with so little a care?
You've destroyed a healthy life.
How is that fair?

She was honest about herself, and you have stolen her hope.
For her quality of her life, she has little faith.
I hope one day you read this and you compare it to yourself.
Are you the one who destroyed her?
The one so easily sabotaged her health?
Can you admit it?
Can you walk with your head held high?
I pray that when she takes her last breath, you feel in your heart her last bitter sigh.