I can't help but smile
when I think of those times
where we decided to leave,
but stayed a while.

Beauty is transparency

my life trend lately seems to be
on a spectrum
that's constantly swinging back and forth between
"feeling like ****"
and "feeling like ****, yet wanting to write about it"

don't try too hard to smile
putting on a face each day is of no importance
but facing each day
recognizing
that no matter how you feel -
depressed,
sad,
angry,
happy,
joyful.
that it is still a beautiful
extraordinary day.
because living life to the fullest
isn't about always being happy -
let's be real
that's stupid.
and impossible.
it's about embracing
unraveling,
understanding,
and learning from each experience that's thrown our way
sad,
or happy.
because life is going to sucker punch you in the gut
and you're going to sometimes be stuck in the fetal position
laying on your floor.
trying to soften the blows.
and you have no control over when
or where
or how hard it's going to hit
the only thing you have control over
is yourself.
so stop trying to force yourself to smile for others
instead
embrace the emotion of the day
and treat it like a friend.
don't keep trying to change it if you can't.
just...
be.

I'm slowly
but truly,
surely,
coming to understand
that a world without expression
only apathy.
is a world of true oppression.