Jay-vee Arh

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

The buildings around me
                    stack up like stairs.
             Then I think, "Could it be?"
and look around for someone who cares.
                 When I realize that there's no one,
                           I look again at the stacking buildings.
                                  Overcomming me is the need to run.
                                                I find myself at the first stair, singing,
                                                                    "Oh, how wonderful is it all!"
                                  And off I go...running up the building-composed staircase
                                                                                                                                   until,
                                                                                                                                   at last,
                                                                                                                                       I
                                                                                                                                     fall.

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

Turning, Twisting

Turning, turning,
I hate you.
Twisting, twisting,
I hate you.

Turning and twisting
my mind is retching.
My body is cringing
with how you're always watching.

I hate you.
I hate you.
Turning and twisting,
I feel like puking.

My heart is stopping
from my hate for you.
I feel like I'm dying
because I hate you.

I hate you.
Stop watching.
I hate you.
Stop watching!

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

And Now I Miss You

And now I miss you
Not for who you were to me,
but for the things you used to do.
The people left in your place
can't even half-way fill your shoes.
Work upon work did work stack.
More and more was put on my rack!
And now I'm annoyed
that you aren't here.
At least when you were,
my work bench was more clear!

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

Secret Promise

There's a promise to Him that I'm keeping.
The standards are that I won't be the one seeking.
So if it were to be,
let him, instead, come to me.

But this is a promise I've not told
to anyone I know, new or old.
And when I briefly mention "I can't",
they all go off on some kind of rant.

Why can't they understand that I can't say?
Why is silence so difficult this way?
There's a promise to Him that I'm keeping.
Perhaps it's also a secret that, with me, is sleeping.

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

A Lonely Dance with Insanity

Someone help me, I feel insanity lurking
in the back of my mind, ominously looming.
It makes salient feelings that are disgusting
What's worse is that the help is not willing.

Yes, I call out to you, best friend.
But you are unable to understand.
I laugh. I wasn't expecting it in the end.
And yet this insanity is something I've to mend.

I also call out to you, man from afar.
But all you care about is inhaling tar.
Though I know that you, too, have similar scars,
I suppose the reason you can't help is because you're too far.

So here I am. Again. Alone.
This insanity has certainly taken it's toll.
I guess I'll remain in this dark, scary hole.
Never have I felt so far away from home.

Jay-vee Arh Feb 2013

Bittersweet solution

This disease is suffocating.
I feel like I'm
in a small room
that's enveloping in gloom.

I feel like I can't breathe.
This curse is heavily
resting on my soul.
My heart's turning into coal.

Coal that I refuse to let burn.
But at the same time
I don't want to extinguish the fire,
as I can't imagine anything more dire.

However, this room is contracting.
This curse is getting heavier.
There's a solution in the back of my mind,
one that part of me refuses to find.

The solution has a taste of relief.
But it also harbors a darkness.
Difficult it is to be so torn.
Why must everything be so forlorn?

Jay-vee Arh Jan 2013

It really does hurt me

It really does hurt me
To have you leave in such a hurry.
But I have no choice in the matter
So go on and scatter.

I don't want you to leave;
My heart won't be relieved.
But I sacrificed my love for you.
Unfortunately, it is true.

It pains my heart
That I'm forcing us apart.
I have to unlove you;
It's difficult to do.

It makes me cry,
But I'm forced to try.
I'm shoving you out
No matter how I grieve and pout.

It really does hurt me
To have you leave in such a hurry.
It's difficult to do;
But I sacrificed my love for you.
Unfortunately, it's true -
But I'm forced to unlove you.