: I'd rather be in the middle of
nowhere
with you

than be on the edge of
everything
with anyone else.

I feel as if I've lost you,
Doe eyes.

The words haven't left me yet
Come back and hear what I can change
See what I can feel
Love what I can hate
Hate all that I love
Do you feel me still?
Sugar brains.

Question mark.
Something is in the way
Speak out loud
Be the light in the cloud above
The sky is grey
Lady love

Fall in between the space that they can't reach
Out of shape but in a place that I can't see
Far out of the realm of the mind at ease
Like a raging storm on your favorite beach
It's not right
The night

My morbid morning makes me mean, maybe makes me mean
Something to someone with a special something showing, shining,
Really raking in radiance really reeling in
Every eternal emotion even an excellent empty memory
May make movies, maybe make madness
Inside infinite nothingness,
Not needing, not giving
God's good graces
Though the thought
Or obstruction obtained
Needed new nightly nudges. . .

                                                . . .to make it through again.
  
The shotgun will tell you in the first eleven days
The last wave goodbye

Hello Dark One.

People ask me why I cut
People say "Why would you do that?"
I'm too young to be this sad
People don't understand
I cut for me, I cut for pain
Emotional pain makes me sick
It is unbearable and all-consuming
Emotional pain in which I wallow
Physical pain is easier
Physical pain is short term
It allows me to Focus
Focus on the thin red line
The drops of blood pooling
I don't have to think at all
Nothing comes into my brain
Nothing but pain signals
No remembrance of ****
Abandonment and abuse
Cutting is my escape, my salvation
I am full of so many demons
When I cut I bleed them out
Each drop of red is a tear I've cried
Many tears and many red droplets
Physical pain overcomes me
Wraps me up in a ****** up blanket
Cutting is my drug, my escape
I am given the chance to numb
The ache in my heart is released
Through the valleys in my arm
Valleys carved into my flesh
Released through the blood
Pooling on the bathroom floor
A puddle of pain and demons
This is a puddle of me, all the
*****, nasty, unlovable, *******
Then there is a moment of bliss
That moment when I numb
Like right before they put you to sleep
The numb feeling of emptiness
I don't think about the demons
The demons in my head, screaming
They are no longer in my brain
They are in the puddle on the floor
No longer inside of me
Gone for a moment but not forever
Pain always comes back
This is why I cut, to quiet the pain

My heart is full of emotions,
not all of them so bad.
Joy, love, remorse;
and hate I never knew I had.

Everything you put me through,
I put it in the past.
Every wrong that you now deny,
the pain comes back so fast.

I hate how you ignore them;
those scars you left on me.
Maybe it's easy for the invisible,
but what of the scars that you can see?

I will not pretend to love you
like my siblings do.
I will not cower in your presence,
I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU!

Not dislike and not disgust.
I now recognize this state.
Of all the gifts you gave me,
I'll gladly return the hate.