We're Selling Our Focus
Ten dollar hokus pocus
And you're loaded

Bing Bang Boom
You know this

How familiar
This pipe smokin'

Chemical explosions
And brain cell erosion

Numbness in the night time
Sickness in the bright time
Pride in your peers eyes
Until you finally realize

You cant see
You're blind
You cant hear
Your own mind

Nerve synapses snapping
Emotional waves crashing

You're too young
To NEED the left lung

Now you're lost
You're songs go unsung

It's not a warning
Its a mural

Its a photo
Not the future

And those who ran once keep running
And those walk sit wondering

How the other half live
Coming up
Screaming
This is it

Fall down the rabbit hole
It's like an **** in heat
If you cant beat em join em
We'll just plant another seed

crawl around on your floor
searching for clothes
that will change you
rearrange your hair
for the fortieth time
i've just realized
this is how i express
my social anxiety
i look at my face in the mirror
and all i want to do
is cut it
pretty sure this isn't
healthy

help
me

I'm not ready for this.
And to think,
You just stopped crossing my mind everyday.
To think,
That the prospect of seeing you no longer brought me pain.
My false hopes had faded;
You were in my heart and gone.

But now you're back.
What gives you the right?
Your apologies,
Much appreciated.
Your challenges,
Reigniting that fire.
Just please tell me.

Shall I turn you away?
Harden my heart and reinforce my armor?
Or shall I take that gamble again?
Risk everything and let you back in?
How much am I willing to lose?
How much can one gamble when there's nothing to?

After your mother died, you told me
just how aware you are of how little time we have to love one another.
It's probably selfish of me, then
to sit here, shifting in my chair
waiting for you to love me.
But you say nothing.
I'm to assume based on what you don't say.
The part of me that grew into us
she isn't feeling so strong lately.
She won't stop staring at my flaws
won't stop looking for a place to empty out hot handfuls of blame.
My thoughts are taking up too much of the bed again,
a wild skirmish of "why not" and "how come".
you stopped seeing the best in me when we got comfortable
i let you see me so close up that i went out of focus.

Who said that love was fire?
I know that love is ash.
It is the thing which remains
When the fire is spent,
The holy essence of experience.

your mixed up soul says you should be leaving him

but the weight you carry over your empty heart says you are too weak to even be alive

he reminds me of constellations.
not the kind you read about,
or the kind you can see.

but the kind deep out in space,
the ones like waves
swelling within a vast sea.

he is like smelling salts.
waking me up
a little more
each day.

in fact, he is the granule of sugar
looming over the edge
of my morning coffee cup.

but he is also the moon,
shining her smile
brightly upon my ever seeking eyes.

he is the sun,
my reason for waking up on time

and still being a bit late
because i hadn't the time
to admire enough of his beauty.

and, right now,
he is the stolen breath
that just made my heart skip a beat.