I dont get it
He's the angel child when I work so hard
There is too much blood, and sweat for me to fall down so far
Too many tears for the rope to split
Too much pain to end it all like this
But there's an invisible hand holding scissors and I don't know who it is
I'm just hoping that my rope is thick
As they saw away
Day by day
I start to get sick
There's no hope for climbing, no way up
I'm thinking my last option is to jump
Because I'm almost at the top, that means its a long way down
Hopefully I'll pass out from fear before I hit the ground
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying my best
But my best falls just short of the rest
And I'm only thinking of one way out
I could survive if this was a river, but there's been a drought
So all that remains at the bottom of my mountains
Are dried up rivers, and the seconds are being counted
In my head I'm thinking maybe if I let the thoughts win
It just might rain again.

They wonder why teenagers often seem to lose hope
When they shove the idea of perfection down our throats
As we get the idea that in order to be somebody we need to grow up
Because we're too young to know how to fall in love
And we're too young to know how to handle our stuff
Because our hormones control us
The therapists are asking
What in your past affects what's happening?
But it's honestly not the past, just the here and now
Seeing even the brightest of smiles turn into frowns
Taking blades to our wrists when the sun goes down
All we're told to look for is the inevitable doom
Someone tell heaven to make room
We're sending up some new angels soon
Parents are wondering how they made so many mistakes
Promising they'll do whatever it takes
But life isnt that easy, you can't heal bullet wounds with scotch tape
So if you happen to be looking for a quicker fix
This isn't it
This numbness won't be healed with your first aide kit
It's going to take more than a sorry toned in the voice of *******
Someone call the surgeons, see if they heal broken hearts
See if they mend broken families that tear us apart
Someone call the firefighters,
See if they can put out the fire
The one that burns every night
The one that scorches demons into the frames of your mind
Telling you it's okay to drag that blade
I still have my scars
But they don't come from exposed body parts
They don't come from bruises, blackened by poor excuses
And also literal ones. Ask me why I seem so far
From your reality
You don't seem like you understand me
But I guess I'm just another "Teen"
But that's what you can't see
People and animals aren't meant to be classified
Someone's fur may be softer than mine
Jealousy comes from dark parts of our minds
Bringing hate that erupts from volcanoes frozen in time
I figure you might understand if it rhymes
Because the liquor has burned holes into your mind
You've created this poorly formed shrine
Directed toward false Gods, burning your throat like wine
And I'm standing in the middle of WW3 today
It's me against my demons and they're on their way
Scream into my ears until I become deaf
And all I hear is your words telling me to crave death
But it isn't like depression is something you can play with
Does it count if sometimes my feelings shift
Is it okay if my numbness comes more often than yours
Or if my blade is hurting less than yours
If pain isn't what I crave, it's really love
Give me something to love without forcing barrels of guns
Into the mouths of innocent children in the hands of innocent killers
We're staring into the soulless eyes of the gravediggers
My graveyard shift isn't up yet
If you think this is a suicide note you're so very wrong
I just want to let you know what's going on
My head is a labyrinth and I continue to get lost
But I made it myself.
Yet at what cost?

When I was in sixth or sevent grade, I'm not sure which
My health teacher gave the class some health tips
At one point he told all of us kids to look in the mirror
"Jump up and down" the next part was pretty clear
"Anything that jiggles, get rid of it, it's unwanted fat"
I mean he was my health teacher of course I believed that.
So lets do it, I'll take a look at my reflection
Jump 1, Jump 2, we're aiming for perfection
Tell me Mr. Health Teacher, does it bother you that my thighs touch
Maybe that's a sign I might be eating too much
Does it hurt you that my stomach flops around
Just hangin out there, like friends going to town
It must cause you physical pain that my arms jiggle
And I have love handles around my middle
It must really burn your ******* eyes
That you can't see between my thighs
It must **** with your heart
That when I walk it moves my lady parts
Like my ***** and my ****
BUT IT'S ******* NORMAL, so what.
I'm sorry that you don't seem to understand
That I'll eat what I want because in America I can
I'm not sorry on my behalf
I'm just sorry you must have been raised on crack
If you think you can tell me I'm overweight
Because I had an extra piece of cake at lunch today
Which is a bit over serving size
But who even invented that **** and why do they get to decide
I am not your clay model, that you can mold
What I choose to put into my body is something you cannot control
And for you to put in a child's mind that she needs to "drop a few pounds"
Is something I won't allow
Women at a young age are taught to adjust based on the ideas of a man
Excuse me Society I have a different plan
Where I love myself regardless of how "skinny" I need to be
If I excersize I will do it for ME
If I eat carrots instead of carrot cake
It will be a choice that I decided to make
Unless I'm on the verge of diabetes or a heart attack
You have no right to sit there and call me fat
Because naturally parts of me will move when I do
Even if they move a little more than you
And if I were you, I would start typing up a new curriculum
Because the one you have now is making kids dumb

That's All.

Everyone thinks I'm sad

but I'd consider myself happy

I've been in my room all day feeling kind of numb

I'm just lazy, I don't wanna get out of bed because I'm watching a good show

I haven't felt a real feeling since the start of the summer

I'm happy with you

I don't know the meaning of different moods, nothing hurts and nothing feels good

A blade? NEVER.

Maybe

Life is too good to be sad, cheer up

Explain to me why pain feels so good, explain to me why I cannot love someone, I'm purposely hurting everyone around me and I see it but its addicting and I can't stop

I'll be fine

Please, Help me.

Like finger paintings against foggy glass
We may fade as our time runs past
Like scissors through paper, our hearts may tear
Just not as clean, not as fair
Like a deer in headlights I didn't see it coming
I didn't think I'd still be wondering
If this could actually work
Because like newborn baby's we aren't sure what to do with our voices
So we use our actions to express our choices
And we can't always get things just the way we want them
But I always feel like I have what I want with him