In all honesty
A poem doesn't have to rhyme
Or have to pertain to a certain textbook "structure"
No one can tell you that you wrote it wrong
No one can tell you that you can't write a poem about writing poems
It's you baby
Not them

First to answer such a question as
What is it that I want?
There must be an understanding of the word I

Simply put,
I means you
And you means I
I is we
I is all
All life can be described with these words
But they all mean the same thing
I, you, we, us,
A single central self-centered species

Now to understand what I want
We must then define want

There is more to want than desire or lust
Want simply put is new
New is the very basic form of want
Take a video game for example,
You may desire this game as much as you **** well please,
At the end of the day when you finish the game no matter what game it is,
It becomes not new
And you go and play the next game

With these basic ideas of I and Want
Now it can be discussed what it is I want.

I don't want world peace
Or the next new piece technology
Those are shallow desires
Yes these would be nice things to have
But it won't stay new for long
And that is why we stride for them instead of focusing on what it is I want

What I want
Simply put,

Is to find out what I want.

I feel terrible I treated you in such a way
I feel terrible because I broke your trust
I feel terrible that you changed
I feel terrible this happened to us

I want to apologize
I want to be your friend
I want to not have to look away every time I see you
I want the foolishness to end

I can't because It will never be the same
I can't because I dug the hole too deep
I can't because she doesn't give a **** about me
But most of all, I can't because I can't stand the sight of what she has become

*if only...

So this is weird
I feel weird
I remember this feeling
I told myself I would never again
Why do I feel this

Because I need stimulation
*******
No *******
No you
No you
Ok...
Yeah that's what I thought
I know...
You're lonely you know it
I know...
Give in
Ok...
Loser
I know...
Make bad decisions
But I don't want to...
*But I do...

I think that when a person is made
Only one half is made to a baby
And the other half another baby somewhere
And they try to find each other In this big world
Some never find each other
And others mistake them for enemies
But some find that person who fits
*Just right

Some past ago
Innocence carried my heart
And then one day you presented to me
The Impression of passion

It touched me
Changed me
Utilized my beating chest
And utterly broke me

I yearn still to embrace your body
The elegant contact of your lips on mine
To save you from the bitterness of snowy nights
But my mistakes bartered my undoing

That night
That cold, unforgiving winter night
Will forever haunt my dreams
As I try to find the past in my slumber

The extent of loves hand is weary and perplexing
But the willingness of a heart as mine will trade lives
For one
Last
Touch

By the divines, I am *alone