The mirror shows the face I almost know
I seem to recognize from a long time ago
He looks familiar, like a guy I once knew
But I’d never dare to take a step or walk a day in his shoes
He had it rough growing up
But he made it out fine
He stayed under the radar and never did time
Except for the time in his head
And the struggle within
And feeling discomfort inside his own skin
That I can’t handle
That’s when I quit
Cause who the hell has any time for that ****?

I crave a conversation soul to soul
For the determining factor to see who’s in control
What I have hidden up my sleeve and I don’t want you to know
Is that I’m a ticking time bomb about to explode
Tick tick tick, lickety split
Times running out
To rewrite the script
Give me my prize, give me my win
No matter the outcome of the wheel that I spin
Answer the riddle
Come take a ride
While keeping in context, that the soul’s what’s inside

A casket in a wasteland
Placed on powdered snow
Left to be discovered
In a hundred years or so
The chest adorned with carvings
Flowers, skulls, and bones
Shut tight, not to be opened
Just to perish under stone
Closed off from the elements
To ensure safe passage home
Or spend and eternity, never to be found
Left in solitude; alone

I hide beneath the trees, like it’s my own forbidden forest
I nestle under shade to cool my soul
I use rocks to hide my presence
In a mist like evanescence
Because the sun that’s beating down will take its toll
I hide away from others
I seclude to gain my peace
I find solace in the forest
Among the rocks and leaves
I justify my silence as I peer out from the hedge
I see a waterfall and I bathe at waters edge
I focus on my yin and yang
And I wallow with my spirit
And sometimes I scream out loud as hell, so everyone can hear it

After us came loneliness
After us came grief
After us came melancholy
But it brought me pure relief
I longed for our departure
I longed for inner peace
I longed for the setting sun
That fades into the sea
I hurried to my calling
To the echo in the night
That rang inside my eardrums
And took away my sight
I ran to it with eagerness
To consume my inner soul
So that the darkness that surrounded me
Could take over control

I’m in line on the runway waiting to take flight. Not sure where I’ll be landing or what the weather will be like. Will I reach my destination? Will I get up off the ground? Will I slowly make my way or will I reach the speed of sound? Will I seek out self-destruction and contribute to my own demise? Will I believe in all I hear or what I see with my own eyes? Will my life be good to me?
Will I grow up strong?
Or will I be proven right for what I knew all along?

You are my chosen
The one I adore
The aim of my passion
To consume and explore
You are the wind that tightens my sails
My ironclad rock
When everything fails
You are my choice to hear my true voice
When words can’t be said
But with you, I rejoice
You are my flagship, the one I look to
That keeps me together, like rubbery glue
You are my chosen, no one can compare
To spend my life with and together we share
All the adventures
The good and the bad
That without you I wouldn’t have had

I became a poet when the hurt was too deep
When I stood out from the crowd like a black sheep
When in the mirrors reflection, I did not like what I saw
When I saw in myself an abundance of flaws
That is when I took to pen and to ink
To release my ideas of what I thought and I think
My poems are my savior
The releasing of pain
My thoughts on to paper
That help me explain
What it is in my mind that I must refrain
That I shouldn’t feel awkward or even ashamed

Time, it is fleeting
Memories fade
But that doesn’t mean that the pain goes away
The ticking of time
The minutes, they pass
But the pain is resilient
And the misery lasts
Long into the future
Despite what has passed
We must remain civil
And always show class
Regardless of all damage
That disable and ****
Time isn’t lenient
But is gone in a flash
There’s no time for healing
It controls and consumes
Our life or the lack of
To escape and elude
All of the hurt
All the abuse
We give to ourselves
To deny our own truth

The red of your lips
The feeling of bliss
Is my only wish
For our love to exist
Love is not purple, or yellow, or gold
Love radiates red, brilliant and bold
Just like my heart, or the red of a rose
For red is the color of love, I suppose
All the red shades, all of the hues
Can wisk away, all of my blues
And this is my wish, for me and for you
Together in red, however we choose

Laughter is my medicine
It cures my saddest days
Instead of tears or blood I shed
It enlightens with a phrase
A joke or two
To lift my mood
And put a smile on my face
It leaves me in a happy state
And steadies up the pace
It cures my funk
But who’d of thunk
It would keep me so in tune
With the universe
As it aligns
Under stars and moon

There’s no more ties to the love that binds
The two of us together
An end to all when spring and fall
Changes like the leaves and weather
There comes a time
When yours and mine
Will go our separate ways
Time to let go
When rain and snow
Fills our sad and lonely days
Tears may fall
But please stand tall
And let’s stay true to who we are
There is no doubt
What we’re about
Will get us very far
So smile and leave
While I bereave
And reminisce of better days
When you and I
Flew far and wide
In a calm, yet cloudy haze

An iceberg floats at level seas
But what you can’t see, lies just beneath
An untold story of catastrophe
That ripples the waves with a stiff breeze
And robs you of your humanity
Just like robbers or petty thieves
They’ll leave you hopeless, down on your knees
As you sit there and you beg and plead
For things you know you can’t achieve

Like the sun I burn within
Hidden behind a wholesome grin
But the flames that reach their highest
Mask a world that’s downright grim
And the spark that lit the fire
Is wrapped around a life of sin
I’m not sure where it began
Or where even to begin
To tell a tale so dim
It’ll clock you on your chin
With morbid story lines
Thought up on a whim
Whether fat or thin
It doesn’t matter
Or the color of your skin
It all gets written down
Then thrown inside a bin
Because who is to say who loses?
And who’s to say who wins?
The yang to my yin
It’s all moving so fast
That it’ll make your head spin
Whether friend or foe
Or your next of kin
A distant relative
Or your Siamese twin
It doesn’t matter where you’re going
Or even where you’ve been
It’ll all come back around again
Until you pop it with a pin

You’re my object of desire
You’re my succulent, my sweet
My friend for every battle
In which we’ve never met defeat
You’re the air in which I breathe
My every want and need
You’re the love they tell in fairy tales
In every book you read
You’re my heart and passion
Of this, I will concede
You’re the red I see in roses
And my bandage when I bleed
You’re the fire in my sternum
The flash of sudden heat
The one that gives me goosebumps
Every time we meet
And that is nonrefundable
You can’t take back what’s truly mine
The feeling that you give to me
Every time you come to mind

I never took the leap
For fear that I might fail
I just laughed my life away
Searching for the Holy Grail
Just an object for my quest
I took no subject as my muse
Yet, I always ended up lost
And somehow more confused
I battled and I suffered
I punished and condemned
Myself for all my blunders
And my utter lack of friends
I am still the enemy
I am still class clown
I am just a lonely man
When awake or lying down
I’m a criminal of existence
I’ll steal the air you need
I pass as being human
But that’s just what is perceived
I smile and I wander
I’m not destination bound
I think I’ll just meander
Until I’m 6 feet in the ground
I couldn’t find my purpose
I did not answer the call
When it came to being successful
I completely dropped the ball
I did not help bring in a child
I did not deem it fair
And I asked no hand in marriage
Because they all seemed ill prepared
For the monster in the mirror
The freeloader breathing air
I’d tell you that it hurt me
But I just don’t really care
I am but an open book
Read me if you dare
Knowing that if it were up to me
I’d recommend the chair
🪑

I’m shattered, smashed, and ruptured
I’m pitted, dipped, and cleft
There’s sorrow in the depths of my soul
Ever since you left
My life seems out of rhythm
Gone is the pounding in my chest
The love I felt has vanquished
I’m defeated and depressed
You crushed the very essence
Of the love we often shared
It hit me like a whirlwind
I was completely unprepared
And now I run on empty
As if you never cared
I would’ve thought our kinship
Was one you could’ve spared

I still hide you in my poetry
Through the lines and curves
You’re in each letter written
An honor you deserve

I still hide you in my poetry
In every single word
Because not to have you in my poetry
Is a thought I deem absurd

I still hide you in my poetry
Through each gap and nook
Because you’re in each thought
that’s in my mind
And you’re everywhere I look

I listened when you spoke
To detect a little hope
That could be summarized in words
And could help me better
cope
But words are only fleeting
When you misconstrue their meaning
And the promises you made me
Could counteract my healing
That’s why actions speak much louder
And can be chopped up into powder
As fine as grains of sand
But don’t underestimate their power
So say less and do more
So my confidence will soar
And I can put my trust in you
Just like I did before

I am not alone
Despite my empty room
I am not a hopeless man
Which loneliness consumes
I devour every second
Of every moment of each day
And I’ll always have a comeback
For anything I have to say
I take comfort in my solace
The peace is music to my ears
I don’t waste my time with mundane rhymes
That I’ve been writing down for years
And if I choose to share it
It’ll be with words upon a page
That releases any tension
Or aggressive pent up rage
I still strive for my happiness
But I’m a bird inside a cage
That wants to stretch his feathers
And make a decent wage
Shall I conform and be resilient?
Shall I choose to trust again?
Or shall I continue on the path I’ve chosen
And stay my only friend?

I am unattached
Free from ties that bind
I yearn no living mortal
Nor have I sought to find
I do not wallow in my loneliness
I embrace it and embark
Into a world of emptiness
Taking comfort in the dark
No nagging words to stir me
And break my freedom down
I’m never ever truly lost
If I don’t want to be found
And this is where my comfort lies
Away from eyes that pry
So that I can live out my life
With no one asking why

I long for your effervescence
Your charismatic soul
That void you fill with laughter
That completes me as a whole
What I feel I know is missing
But I can’t seem to control
That lingers on for hours
And in the long run takes its toll
I’m counting down the minutes
As my anticipation grows
Searching out each moment
That you’re most likely to show
As you enter unannounced and quiet
Balanced on your tippy toes
To surprise me with your presence
All wrapped up in a bow

How do I begin to explain
The spark that you turn into flame
You’re my only desire
That ignites my fire
My only hope is that you feel the same
I long for your kiss
The touch of your hand
Walking the beaches with our feet in the sand
You’re my lover, my friend
Until the end
And you make me feel like a man

The steps were steep and narrow
The destination, great
So I climbed until I got there
And then I had to wait
The line was long and winding
To hear what would be my fate
And came to an understanding
Of my mental state
For a lifetime of wrongdoing
And my evil traits
I was ushered into heaven
I stood at the pearly gates
Then I was sent down into purgatory
As my sins were not erased
And that is where I roam and wander
So that I may contemplate
The evil ways I spent my days
Before it was too late

Today’s world might seem bleak and grim
Without much color, decor, or trim
Yet there are things that still fill my heart to the brim
That nature provides seemingly on a whim
Like the birds, the trees, the fields of grass
And the mountains, sky, and their sheer mass
When the moments arrive and the moments pass
Stop for a second, because life goes fast
Smell the roses, count to 10
Then continue on, back again
Take a breath and take a bow
And live in the moment because the time is now

‪There’s color to be seen in black and white‬
‪You just have to know where to look ‬
‪It’s in the streets and on the corners‬
‪And even in some books‬
‪The colors range in bright lit hues‬
‪Where the blandness can be misconstrued ‬
‪Like with a bunch of helium filled balloons‬
‪The reds, the yellows, greens and blues‬

The floor began to fall away
I was overcome by fear
Falling into oblivion
Void of any tears
Except for a single teardrop
That found its way onto my cheek
Which would’ve been a nightmare
If I was asleep
But I hadn’t any slumber
And I was playing now for keeps
Before I knew it, I was in a hole
Exactly 6 feet deep
Staring at the reaper
Who I knew had come to reap
I knew if I surrendered
I would have to take that leap
So I pleaded my way out of my own death
Who says that talk is cheap?
And now I’m afraid to close my eyes
For what I fear that I might see
And a blink takes on new meaning
As does a game of hide and seek

Outside, the air is hot and misty
The look of an evening touched by summer rain
Inside, it is cool and calm
Refreshing and pleasant
Soothing, and tame
The temperature rises
The temperature falls
There’s light condensation
On the glass and the walls
The morning dew glistens
The fog rolls in deep
The country, it listens
To the birds as they cheep
For all that transpires
The birds and the bees
Nothing compares
To prayers from my knees
My head is to heaven
My soul rests on earth
Till the day that I die
From the day of my birth

I express with finesse
The mood I inflect
That would in other words vary
And make them suspect
But in turn, I surrender
And give freely at will
The key to the cupboard
To give you your fill
I’m unattached an unbound
By the forces that be
So come take my hand
And let’s run to the sea
To the bluest of oceans
To the warm setting sun
To the chains that would bind me
But alas, there are none

It was a peculiar color
An ominous hue
A painful assertion
Of black and blue
I was enlightened and frightened. What was I to do?
What’s this odd color that had become misconstrued?
So I wiped it away and returned it to you
With a new baby blue on the soles of my shoes
But you didn’t accept it
And you said we were through
And that’s when I knew
And that’s when I knew
You could not be pursued
And you were wretched and rude
But still, you were ****, standing there in the ****

‪We’re in a black-and-white world‬
‪Still color persists ‬
‪Through the cracks in the pavement ‬
‪Where color exists ‬
‪It’s in the form of a flower ‬
‪Through growth it insists ‬
‪To break through the barriers ‬
‪That conform and resist ‬
‪Through the concrete and pavement ‬
‪Through the scent of denial ‬
‪Through the harsh winter weather‬
‪It stands ***** with a smile‬
‪And brightens the landscape‬
‪With class and with style‬
That my otherwise fall victim
To the worn and the vile

My motivations gone idle
My rhythm feels flat
I’m not suicidal
Because I chose to adapt
To see the silver lining
The light at the end
Of my tunnel of trouble
And it’s real, not pretend
I lift up and move on
I get out of my rut
I feel it, I know it
Deep down in my gut  
It’s my sense of survival
My yearning to thrive
That helps me keep going
And keeps me alive
It’s a sense of adventure
A curious query
To take a life that’s mundane
And not make it so dreary
I fill it with laughter
And what brings me joy
To be extroverted
Not bashful or coy
This is my burden
That I need to destroy
And become a man
Not just a boy

‪Elated and fading ‬
‪Into a dream ‬
‪Laid up with the flowers‬
‪Of red, pink, and green‬
‪Purples, and yellows‬
‪And bright tangerine‬
‪Away from disorder ‬
‪And chaotic scenes‬
‪Of drama and violence ‬
‪And all in between‬
‪Peaceful and pleasant ‬
‪Blissfully serene‬
‪Elated and faded‬
‪Into a dream‬

I remember moments of bliss
Which takes me back to the time
When our two lips kissed
And you became mine
We knew not what love was
But we loved our time shared
Like the games that we played
Hide and seek, truth or dare
Those are the times
Which none can compare
And in your eyes I stared
Like a breath of fresh air

A smile, a wink
Holding hands in the park
Made up of magic
That ignited a spark
Innocent and pure
We danced and we sang
Laughing out loud
Seemingly nothing to gain
Only lighthearted fun
Under trees in the sun
And when all was said and done
Our victories were won
And although they were small
We stood proud and stood tall
Because we had each other
In the fall, after all

When you’re gone I’ll visit thee
And replay all our memories
In the forefront of my mind
Your body’s gone, but your spirit thrives
Just as if you’re still alive
For now until the end of time
You are who I gave my love to
And now you lay in your tomb
Yet still, you are mine

There are no sins in love
Only raindrops from the heavens above
They’re like teardrops trickling down from my eyes
In the changing of blue to gray skies
And despite the bad weather
We’re two birds of a feather
With a love that just won’t be denied

Time, it is fleeting
Like dust in the wind
The old must be over
For the new to begin
A gentle reminder
Of another life lived
We rotate our memories
As the world spins
We reach for the stars
Some fall short, but aspire
To live out our dreams
And quench our desires
And we do so with vigor
Full of life, full of hope
Before time expires
At the end of our rope
The circle of life
In the grandest of scales
As some reach acceptance
Where others might fail

When I tell you I love you, it is not out of habit
Nothing could be further from truth
I say that I love you, that I’m thinking of you
And I’ll scream so from the top of the roof
You’re my desire, my evil empire
And you shine like the diamond of sin
I thirst for your heed, in my time of need
And your power to heal from within
I long for your touch, an inkling of trust
That allows me to orbit your space
I’d forego my spirit, completely coherent
And I wouldn’t dare call it a waste
You’re my moon and my stars, my wounds and my scars
And I’ve fallen for you head over heels
So that when I say that I love you, That I’m thinking of you
Know that I’ll take it to the court of appeals

Poetry is the calmness when the moments too bright
It’s the sound that you hear, just as you take flight  
It’s the spark to the flame that seems to ignite
The warmth of the fire on a cold winters night  
Poetry is beauty in the clouds and the skies
The answer to questions and all reasons why
It’s the soft of a feather, the twinkle in eyes
And the lifting of spirits when it comes time to rise
Poetry is sadness we need to express
The voicing of anger so that we don’t digress
It’s the shifting of patterns that changes the mood
And the seeking of happiness and how it’s pursued

I’m an echo in the distance
A dim and fading light
I’m a door without an opening
Standing tall, afraid of heights
The walls stay closed around me
I hold the key to my own cell
I blew out my only candle
Then fell down the wishing well
I’m an earthquake without a rumble
A tornado with no spin
A volcano without lava
No blue ribbon for my win
When I hear a distant holler
I take cover in self doubt
Your lips move, yet you’re silent
Whether you whisper or you shout
I stay cozy in my circle
In the comfort of my pain
I know you’re here to help me
Like sunshine drys the rain
But you cannot reach the reachless
You cannot break the chains
You can only pick up the pieces
Of whatever still remains

My words are my shield
As the pen that I wield
Protects me and frees me of pain
All at once they’re combined
From my heart and my mind
And they keep me from going insane
My words are my force
That unbolts the course
That restrains and prevents how I thrive
They’re weapons unleashed
From my internal beast
That remind me that I’m still alive
And when I am through
And I’ve spoken my truth
You’ll know that what I say is real
My word is my bond
From here to beyond
That cuts through hot butter like steel

When the words from my lips can’t be contained or controlled
And the yearn of my body
Can combust or explode
There’s three little words that I want you to know
That are deep in my heart, and are felt in my soul
When a stare or caress
Does no justice or fails
To express my condition
In the minor details
Just three little words can describe or express
What I know in my mind, and I can feel in my chest
These are the words that I say unto thee
I love you, I love you, could you love me?

When I speak, I’m hardly heard
There’s lack of power in my words
It’s like my words don’t carry weight
Until I write them on a page
Because the silence in my rage
Ignites when everything’s contained
And I say things out of spite
Despite how ugly and deranged
My sentiment might be
It’s a complete catastrophe
But, when said, I feel relief
From both my friends and enemies
That’s why it’s important just to say
Communicate; portray
The many shades of grey
And ideas put on display
That could turn to violence
If some things aren’t changed

“Run for the hills!”
I heard in my ear
A sound of distress
With underlined fear
“Run for the hills,”
And never look back!”
Then the voice disappeared
Stopped dead in its tracks
Maybe that voice
Was the one in my head
Warning my conscience
Of an untimely death
So I took off and I ran
To escape my own fate
Through hell, I had passage
To the white pearly gates
And when I arrived
An angel was there
To lead me to heaven
To help me prepare
For what was to come
For the inevitable fact
So I ran for the hills,
And never looked back

I’ve written when I’m
angry.
When I was sad or I felt down
Rarely did I pick up a pen
When my life was running sound
When obstacles had been avoided
Or things had gone my way
When you didn’t hear me complaining
About my troubles every day
It’s a rare occurrence I’ve forgotten
It doesn’t happen all the time
When every sentence has an ending
And it fits in perfectly aligned
But today starts a new chapter
I’m happy and it shows
I have something to look forward to
And my confidence now grows
I see big things in my future
Something to start the flame
In a well set new environment
Where my aim is to reach for fame
Not to gloat or be braggadocious
But because my skill sets reached its peak
I’ve attained a whole new level
If maintained, one I can keep
And I can strive for greatness
Not stuck in remorse or self defeat
Because I’ve become a person that I’m proud of
Who I respect and hold in high esteem

On the last day of all time
You’ll find me in your arms
Reminiscing of the day
You set off my alarms
The memories, the bad, the good
We dared to dream, and did the best we could
We’ll cry, and weep, and shed some tears
And be grateful for our time; the years
We got to spend, both you and I
Watching sunsets fade from golden skies
And when all is said and done
It wasn’t all half bad, we had some fun.
And we’ll stare into each other’s eyes
Hug, and say our last goodbyes
Then I’ll whisper that this is not the end
That I’ll see you sometime soon, again
Whether on the moon or in the stars
In the afterworld, I’ll bend the bars
And pledge to you right then thereof
My solemn vow and eternal love

Without feathers, I’m soaring
I’m light on my feet
Flying past landscapes
The wind on my cheeks
At first, I thought I was dreaming
But I was still counting sheep
So I knew I was awake
And not fast asleep
With my arms out extended
I reached mountain peaks
I flew over oceans
Over the shallow and deep
I thought about landing
Nonchalant and discreet
But instead, I kept soaring
Because the view was so sweet

The sun is no longer bright
It’s sad, but that is its plight
It’s not said with a grin
That it’s light now burns dim
And now morning looks more like the night

But this is the way of the stars
It’s not Venus, or Saturn, or Mars
It was here for a while,
Adorned with a smile
And it was nice enough to power our cars 

So farewell to all sunny days
It’s time for a new life and change
We’re like rats to the cheese
Paying exorbitant fees
Running like we’re stuck in a maze 

Singeing and burning
It bleeds through my chest
Just a heartbeat away
As only love would suggest
The wanting and yearning
Building burning empires
No escaping the flames
Like moths to the fire
Whether hellbound or godly
Your love still inspires
Wicked and lusting
My every desire

How do I heal
From the words I can’t feel?
When I just can’t relate
With what I write or create?
When the moment is fleeting
When my hearts filled with hate?
Because the love that you gave me
I couldn’t reciprocate
The passion, the care
The protection from fears
So I sink to the bottom
Drowning in tears

How do I talk to an angel?
How do I touch feathered wings?
Fallen, from the graces of heaven
To live as mere mortal things

Why does the sun rise over the mountains?
Why does it set to the bottom of the sea?
Far off, in the distant horizon
Come dive into the answers with me

This life is so much more than yesterday
Tomorrow is a promise we can’t keep
Right now we’re inhaling forever
Truth, too strong for the meek

I keep asking myself
Keep wondering how…
How do I talk to an angel?
How do I touch feathered wings?
Fallen from the graces of heaven
To live as mere mortal things

The sun sets, the stars shine, the night falls
As wings are the grass roots of earth
There’s nightlife, and moonbeams, and raindrops
If I could only remember my worth
When the moment finally arises
Do I stand up tall on my feet?
Do I rise to meet the occasion?
Or wallow in my own self defeat ?

So I keep asking myself
I keep wondering how…
How do I walk with the angels?
How do I gain feathered wings?
Risen by the graces of heaven
To become royal queens and great kings