If only you knew
Spent a day in my shoes
Then you’d have a clue
Of what I say and do
It’s a valuable lesson
One you can’t learn in books
It’s real and it’s vivid
And it’s swarming with crooks
So you must stay evasive
Put on a mask, a disguise
So that you’re invisible
From God’s prying eyes
Let’s go, let’s move on
That’s just how it goes
Weighing my options
The cons and the pros
In hopes I find balance
From the highs and the lows
I’m not too embarrassed
To leave myself exposed
Exposed to the hatred
To the critics, the judge
And still, I stand tall
Unwilling to budge

Forgive my voice
My trembling lips
As words dribble out my mouth
I do not know of what I say
Or what I talk about
I’m broken into shards of glass
Though the pain has been reduced
By your words, by what they mean
And the way that they are used
You sewed my severed heart strings
You brought life to the mundane
And you filled my heart with happiness
For all the days that still remain

I swam in the monotony
I drowned in waves of sand
That slipped right through my fingers
Of a strong yet poultry hand
I grip from muscle memory
On to anything I can
Then I ripped it from the depths of hell
When I finally took a stand
This is nothing too remarkable
Of this, I understand
But I was just a little boy
That one day became a man

The skies forgotten letters
The moon exposed at night
Bottle after bottle
Of afternoon delight
Frozen in the freezer
Cold, and blue in hand
Dancing with the devil
With my soul in high demand
I played music with my fiddle
Until the sun crept through the trees
Waiting on the skies forgotten letters
To put my mind at ease
I played and won my freedom
My soul was mine to keep
Until the day that I’m no longer
And the reaper comes to reap

I take cover under shelter
I cower at the sight
I’ve seen too much brutality
Every day that turns to night
It’s a forgone conclusion
There’s evil on these streets
You’ve got to be suspicious
Of everyone you meet
The Devil walks amongst us
He’s draped in purple sheets
Tapping on the pavement
The ground beneath our feet
He speaks of tales and folklore
He’s a thorn that rides a rose
That ****** your tender finger
When you’re vulnerable; exposed
Take heed and hear my warning
Don’t be put under a spell
Because he’s got your reservation
For your seat way down in hell

I’ll paint you different colors
Until all you see is red
I’ll allow you conversation
With the voices in my head
They’ll tell you you should ditch me
About all the tears and times I’ve bled
But nothing can compare with the words you never said
The words you never uttered
To the journey you once led
Now all you are is a dream to me
As I lie awake in bed

I had an urge to soar
When I opened the front door
I needed to explore
The world and all it’s lore
The things I’ve heard
And have not yet seen
If only on the TV screen
All the things imagined
Asleep and in my dreams
All the colors of the rainbow
Purple, red, blue and green
Things aren’t how I thought they’d be
Two for you and one for me
And now I see the hypocrisy
So close your eyes, inhale and breathe

As if my heart wasn’t yours already
I’m enamored by your charm
The one with bells and whistles
That sounds like an alarm
It wakes me up from stagnant times
It fills my heart with joy
Like that special feeling
Between a girl and boy
The reason I’m believing
Is the reason why I care
You’re an angel sent before me
To help me get prepared
Prepared to live and prosper
To show no signs of fear
Then we can live in Paradise
With peace between our ears

When I look into your eyes
I see the deepest darkest depths
That goes on for an eternity
I see tears that have been wept
I see empowerment like no other
No wilt or run for cover
I see passion on a monumental scale
I see resilience in your efforts
That culminates your days
I see a bright and better future
Filled with love and praise
That is what I want for you
To overcome and to be free
And to live a life worth living
That is what I’d like to see

Each new day brings with it
A new start and a smile
A first step towards the ending of a metaphoric mile
A shimmer of hope at the end of your rope
Which you haven’t felt in a while
Doing it with a touch of class
A sense of flair and style
Something that you haven’t felt since you were just a child
A resilience that resists all doubt
Whether caged or in the wild
And that can form the basis of
An ego in denial

How can I fill that void within?
Consume knowledge, so my head won’t spin
Why do I reach and grab for air?
Conduct my life, that I deem not fair
When will I heed my own advice?
Advance in life and not think twice
Where will I go? What will I do?
Have a dream I must pursue
What will I say, not hold my tongue?
Breathe in air with my iron lung
And if I do not adapt soon
Will I fall ill to my impending doom?

When I look up at the sky
My tears turn to dust
Into mountains of sand
And eternal mistrust
I beg on my knees
To relieve all my pain
When nothing is ventured
Then nothing is gained
And so I take steps
That may lead me astray
As the sun hides in clouds
And the day turns to gray
I put 1 foot in front of the other
And make strides towards a goal
And I feel a sense of empathy
Deep down in my soul

Yes, I am a poet
I feed blank pages, words for meat
Yes, I am a poet
I dip in my ink ***, rinse and repeat
Yes, I am a poet
I’m a minor for gold, digging and clawing
All my feelings exposed
Yes, I am a poet
Trading writing for love, to sing with the angels
Down on earth and above
Yes, I am a poet
My blood is my ink, my tears are my heaven
Sail the oceans, then sink
Yes, I am a poet
No tears left to dry, yet feeling emotions
I cannot deny
Yes, I am a poet

Gone in a second
Gone in a flash
Through introspection
I took off in a dash
I’ve relinquished my freedom
I found out the truth
Lies had been told to me
Since way back in my youth
But now I am older
Now I’ve come to terms
With the system we live in
And the world as it turns

I was born into a hectic state
In a country well to do
Compared to the whole world at large
Our flag bled red, white, and blue
I was proud of where I came from
I even joined up to fight our foes
Until I grew a tad bit older
And more and more became exposed
About the lies, the crooks, the crimes
The power hungry minds
I found out freedom, was just a made up word
That was misleading by design
Happiness was no sure thing
The struggle was too real
They taxed for greed
Not what we need
For our hungry, lost, and ill
So many lost and jaded
By what our government’s created
With false information and all rhetoric
That’s antiquated and outdated
Their lofty goals, revealed, exposed
Placating their ideals, for the voters polls
And as their power grows
Their true intentions show
Yet we sit silently complacent
Despite those that are opposed

I fought for you
I stood there by your side
I found out every secret
You ever tried to hide
You were my destination
My reason to come home
I discarded every rumor
That had ever become known
You could do no wrong in my eyes
You were my angel from above
Even though I hadn’t much to offer
Except my undying love

A kiss by the wind
In between trees
A kiss on the forehead
And one on the cheek
My mouth has a grin
When I kiss your skin
When your lips touch mine
And the stars are aligned
As are the planets
The stars filled the void
Something created
Something destroyed
The yin and the Yang
It dangles and hangs
On the coattails of a whisper forgotten

At first, we started spooning
Then we turned around and hugged
Her essence in my ether
Taken like a drug
It turned into a canoodle
With kissing and the such
She was gentle on my fingers
A pleasant thing to touch
She was my penicillin
My medicine
My crutch
The feeling I want forever
In excess and too much
I’ll gourd on my consumption
Of the sweetness that you are
Then tear my heart to pieces
With the corner of a star
My heart’s my only offer
Hidden behind scars
Put together like a puzzle
From 1000 little shards
And if you accept my love to give
I will cherish and adorn
And fill your days with roses
Stripped of all their thorns
A mirror to your beauty
In the present and the clear
But focused on the future
And the rules we must adhere
I get so lost inside your eyes
Troubles seem to disappear
Their sparkle is magnificent
Beyond the hemisphere
And past the moon and planets
Into galaxies unknown
Into new worlds with new scenarios
In the places we call home

I found a pathway to my insanity
It formed a dotted line
It went in all directions
It was an intricate design
It made no sense to look at
It was jumbled and diverse
It was beyond my understanding
It had never been rehearsed
It had never been a question
Between God and the church
It seemed to never make a difference
Because it felt like I’d been cursed

You are my anchor
My beacon of light
The ocean that sparkles
My moon in the night
You are the sails that lead me to shore
My want and desire
That I just can’t ignore
You are my craving
My can’t do without
You are my certain
My without a doubt
And all that I hope for
And all that I need
Is a gentle reminder
Of the impending stampede

The sunlight finally streaming in
Through the blinds and shades
The warmth I feel on top my skin
A warmth that never fades
That lightens up our planet
All the oceans and the waves
It shimmers in the distance
But is vacant from our caves
The sun in all its glory
In every shape and phase
That shines down from the heavens
In the form of rays

I’ll turn you into poetry
Paint your portrait with no clothes
Leave the beauty that’s in front of me
Completely bare; exposed
I’ll sketch your upper torso
Make a sculptured figurine
Because you are my tomorrow
My princess and my queen

I hurt my knee when I fell
I felt faint like a spell
A collision between me and the floor
I had a bit of concern
When my leg twist and turned
Now it doesn’t hurt anymore
My balance grew stable
And now that I’m able
To walk when before I could run
I don’t mind it though
I come and I go
At least I can still have some fun

I’m a poet, of course
And I’m my own source
Of inspiration that helps me to write
With pen and with ink
I assess and I think
To what led to my downfall and plight
Then I scribble it down
As my feet touch the ground
And I stay certain if just out of spite
With no room to fail
Or to outweigh the scales
The fire inside me ignites
And there you have it
A pitiful magnet
Attracting the eyes of a crowd
And with hits and with misses
I value the kisses
As I stand with my chest out and proud

The scars on my heart
Are abstract like art
There’s both pain and beauty alike
I wear my scars, proud
Let there be no doubt
Of what I stand for if just out of spite
My scars tell a story
Of chaos and glory
That I triumphed and overcame
Now here I stand
A boy turned a man
And an expert that mastered the game

I levitate on grass
Praying for the pain to pass
A distraction for my weary mind
Until I’m free at last

My body, though it hurts
I’ve seen and been through worse
An unapologetic curse
Inflamed, about to burst

But, I take it all in stride
Riding the waves at low and high tides
Using only a moral compass as guide
To navigate my turbulent life

My mind frame is unwell and unkept
Sunken down to the darkening depths
I swim up to reach air
Although I’m still unprepared
For the moment my life turns to death 💀

What can I give you?
What will you take?
Something with value?
Or a big slice of cake?
What can you offer?
What can we share?
Or do you not do that?
Do you not care?
Will you take it and keep it?
Or throw it away?
And where will you keep it?
In a big stack of hay?
That’s none of my business
You can do as you please
I’ll still say “God bless you”
After each sneeze

This is not how our story ends
It’s only just begun
On to new horizons
Past the setting sun
We must continue writing chapters
To the story of our days
Unless we become complacent
Stuck in a foggy haze
Once all of the smoke has cleared
You can adjust your eyes to see
That the future is just up ahead
And the past is history

I swim in ink and paper pools
You’re the queen of hearts
I’m the king of fools
Whisper as the pages turn
Feel the lust, the yearn, the burn
Whimsical, without concern
Mistakes made and lessons learned
Then punctuate my stained veneer
As the letters one by one appear
Don’t drown in ink and paper pools
Explore your mind and become consumed
Walk in someone else’s shoes
And see things from all points of view

Tangerine skies
And indigo blues
Fuschia resentments
Manifesting per truce
Buttercup yellows
Gin and vermouth
Violet in flowers
Pink blush and rouge
Magenta and navy
Lilac and rose
An entire rainbow
Right under your nose
Tomato and taffy
Black, plum, and sage
Purple and turquoise
Jump off the page
Ocean and cobalt
Beige, coral, and wine
These are the colors
That I find divine

She swallowed a star and spit out a wish
Then said with a scowl and a raised arm and fist
“My dreams should come true, and my wishes be met”
Then she dodged all my questions like a goalie deflects
I varied my angles
I was upfront and direct
But she shunned my advances with abandoned neglect
So I took off my gloves, and I pleaded my case
She looked in my eyes and we got face-to-face
Then she turned, and she left, for her trip into space
And I was voted to savior of the whole human race

The taste of love is sweet
It dribbles and it drips
Down your tongue, passed your lung, when entered through your lips 👄
It’s a heartbeat pounding quickly
It’s butterflies and nerves
Giving her your everything
All you think that she deserves
Going that extra mile
To make a difference in her day
And using the three words every girl wants you to say
The three words they want to hear the most
Till it echoes in their ears
Until everybody knows it
As it’s shouted loud and clear

Summertime and flowers bloom
Morning sun and sparkling dew
That glistens till the afternoon
As the sun lights up the dim lit room
Trickling down the blades of grass
Mirror image sharp as glass
That sees the future and the past
But cannot advance or surpass
Like tears of joy the dew doth dry
Not unlike the ones in weeping eyes
A new day dawns, the coast is clear
No more drama, no more tears

There’s red and black and blue and grey
Purple, brown, hues, and shades
Yellow, orange, green, and gold
Turquoise if I’m feeling bold
Mulberry, periwinkle, orchid, and slate
Armed with my knowledge
Which I use to create
Tangerine, Marigold, amber, and sage
From my cerebral to the ink on the page
I see fuchsia, and lemon, pumpkin and peach
And I imagine the stars are not out of reach
Sapphire, walnut, hunter, and stone
It’s all of the colors and all of the tones

I know your favorite color
I even know your favorite shade
It reminds me back to a time
When promises were made
Back when innocence was plain to see
I don’t mean *** in between the sheets
It was a look, a wink, a nod, a stare
The moments in our lives we shared
Now to think that you don’t care
Well, nobody said that life would be fair

I looked over my shoulder
For what I left behind
A fallen angel from heaven
That fell from the sky
She fell down to warn me
To stand by my side
But my guardian angel
And the Earth did collide
She managed to whisper
To warn what’s ahead
But I have trouble repeating
The words that she said
So I continued my journey
I took off and I fled
Hopefully to wake up
From a dream in my bed

I journeyed and took off to uncharted lands
To quench my thirst and my list of demands
I traveled the planet by myself all alone
Just to make it back to the place I call home
Where there’s comfort and solace and freedom to roam
Familiar surroundings that say I’m in my zone
I’ve got home-cooked meals and a comfortable bed
The place I call home is where I lay my head
I’ve come back to the town of which I once fled
With a new strong desire to paint the town red

Whatever I did had to be done
Nightfall had taken over the now setting sun
I may have been struggling
I might not have won
But I stayed true to my purpose and close to my guns
With blinders, I’m focused
On the goal that’s at hand
I’ve stated my claim to an uncharted land
Someone told me I couldn’t, but I know that I can
For I am at present, at one where I stand

I crumpled
I shattered
I split into two
I spun out of control
With a nice front row view
It was nothing that new
But I already knew
There was no more I could do
No one more to pursue
So I gave up my happy
And developed my sad
Because when she left
She took all that I had
All of my spirit
All of my will
She left me bitter and salty
To swallow my pill
Was this my creation
Was it brought onto myself
Did I get way too greedy
Did I squander my wealth
Did I don the right mask
Did I laugh? Did I smile
Or did we just grow too distant
As our problems compiled
Well, whatever it was
And what it shall be
Is that there’s finally peace
And I’m free to be me

I didn’t cast a shadow
I only cast a stone
Into a sea of forgotten dreams
Then contemplated all that’s known
All throughout the universe
Passed the clouds and stars
Into other galaxies
Past Jupiter and Mars
Into a whole new dimension
Where shadows don’t exist
Far from home and all alone
It’s a shame that I’ll be missed
But that’s how it goes
What’s bare; exposed
Out into the atmosphere
Not wearing the right clothes
Until I’m ****** into the vortex
The blackest of black holes
Because that is where my destination
Keeps stifling my growth

Trigger Warning⚠️

It’s beauty always fades
Is what someone often says
In an effervescent haze
Hiding their never ending pain
You’ve got to batten down the hatch
As days burn faster than a match
Then grab tight and give a pull
So that you become attached
No lofty expectations
No fleece covering your eyes
Just tremendous palpitations
Before you say goodbye
To the world of hypocrites
And you, yourself, are one
You can end it all just like your friend
Looking down the barrel of a gun
Send a bullet through your skull
End the monotonous delay
Call it out for what it is
Call a ***** a *****
Or stop playing the victim
Make your word your bond
Find something you like doing
Go out and look beyond
Don’t let obstacles dissuade you
Where there’s a will there is a way
Embrace determination
Why not start today?

I fancied a time when two became one
When all of the grey clouds made way for the sun
I know there will be another tomorrow
But that doesn’t guarantee an end to my sorrow
But I’ve let it go. I’ve let it move on.
Time escalates until all of it’s gone
So why hold onto baggage
That you could rid and discard
So that you can free up your hands
And swing really hard
You may even connect and push someone back
Be a voice for the voiceless
Aim high and attack
Never surrender, never retreat
Keep building bridges
With wood and concrete
So that it may be sturdy
Stand high and *****
Reaching out to the people
To help them connect

I was never your shepherd
You wandered astray
Despite all my love, I gave freely away
I asked for no recourse
No walks by the Bay
No hand in hand holding
No words left to say
In your eyes I saw a blankness
You were adrift and aloof
You told me all lies, I only told you the truth
But your heart belongs elsewhere
Somewhere else, not with me
A crook stole your heart, but you never screamed, “thief!”
As we part, I feel sorrow
But I do not feel shame
It’s life and it’s struggles
It’s just part of the game

I keep my solitude in harsh conditions
To contemplate my inhibitions
Flashing light, blinded vision
Could not deter me from my mission
I reached and yelled, which caused me tension
Still, there are things I shouldn’t mention
That slip in and out of my attention
And help me escape into the fifth dimension
But that is where I tend to dwell
The madness away from the daily hell
Of living, breathing in and out my skin
Must it all end before it begins?

The mirror shows the face I almost know
I seem to recognize from a long time ago
He looks familiar, like a guy I once knew
But I’d never dare to take a step or walk a day in his shoes
He had it rough growing up
But he made it out fine
He stayed under the radar and never did time
Except for the time in his head
And the struggle within
And feeling discomfort inside his own skin
That I can’t handle
That’s when I quit
Cause who the hell has any time for that ****?

I crave a conversation soul to soul
For the determining factor to see who’s in control
What I have hidden up my sleeve and I don’t want you to know
Is that I’m a ticking time bomb about to explode
Tick tick tick, lickety split
Times running out
To rewrite the script
Give me my prize, give me my win
No matter the outcome of the wheel that I spin
Answer the riddle
Come take a ride
While keeping in context, that the soul’s what’s inside

A casket in a wasteland
Placed on powdered snow
Left to be discovered
In a hundred years or so
The chest adorned with carvings
Flowers, skulls, and bones
Shut tight, not to be opened
Just to perish under stone
Closed off from the elements
To ensure safe passage home
Or spend and eternity, never to be found
Left in solitude; alone

I hide beneath the trees, like it’s my own forbidden forest
I nestle under shade to cool my soul
I use rocks to hide my presence
In a mist like evanescence
Because the sun that’s beating down will take its toll
I hide away from others
I seclude to gain my peace
I find solace in the forest
Among the rocks and leaves
I justify my silence as I peer out from the hedge
I see a waterfall and I bathe at waters edge
I focus on my yin and yang
And I wallow with my spirit
And sometimes I scream out loud as hell, so everyone can hear it

After us came loneliness
After us came grief
After us came melancholy
But it brought me pure relief
I longed for our departure
I longed for inner peace
I longed for the setting sun
That fades into the sea
I hurried to my calling
To the echo in the night
That rang inside my eardrums
And took away my sight
I ran to it with eagerness
To consume my inner soul
So that the darkness that surrounded me
Could take over control

I’m in line on the runway waiting to take flight. Not sure where I’ll be landing or what the weather will be like. Will I reach my destination? Will I get up off the ground? Will I slowly make my way or will I reach the speed of sound? Will I seek out self-destruction and contribute to my own demise? Will I believe in all I hear or what I see with my own eyes? Will my life be good to me?
Will I grow up strong?
Or will I be proven right for what I knew all along?