I’m in a battle with my own body
With a pain I cannot see
It covers me from head to toe
I’m in silent agony
It’s in my joints and muscles
And I can’t seem to find relief
I think it’s fibromyalgia
But I don’t have a degree
It’s just what I’ve learned through research
It hurts so much I cannot sleep
I’m ultra tender to the touch
I can find no sense of peace
I’ve been begging God for answers
Although I have no real belief
And I fear my prayers will fall on deaf ears
As I kneel on bended knees
I’m determined not to give up
And feel my health’s within my reach
But it’s the unknown that I’m scared of
As each day plays on repeat

There’s become something evident
That’s to my own detriment
I feel like it’s just a matter of time
Before I meet my maker
It’s no maker or breaker
The punishment just fits the crime
In a world with corruption
Lies and disruption
We failed in a lasting design
Evil roams free
Despite faith or belief
Which makes it not such a difficult bind
On one hand I leave earth
Of which I’ve hated since birth
Because my situation
Felt beyond my control
But what could I do?
I was young, with no clue
And I never had a sense of self-worth
Now that I’m older
I’ve got pain in my shoulder
And I haven’t accomplished a thing
I’ve fought and I’ve clawed
Excalibur sword
But I’m sick
And I’m too tired to swing
I know a likes just a tap
Not to sound like a sap
Or make you feel like you’re being kept on a string
But believe it or not
Just to sweeten the ***
I’m raffling off my old set of wings

I see hatred manifesting without knowledge of facts
Words being uttered, in hateful attacks
One sided views, never having walked in their shoes
In the absence of clues, still spewing hate and abuse
I see a divide, by what we see in the press
Devoid of solution, only instigating protests
A struggle for power, without morals, for greed
Regardless of the suffering, by those most in need
They say that our actions speak louder than words 
Yet, we turn a blind eye to the ill and disturbed
I see only division, when we should come together as one
By every human alive, on the planet we live on, with only one sun
Without change, we will suffer
We’re headed towards doom
If we don’t replenish what’s taken
And only consume

I was born into a hectic state
In a country well to do
Compared to the whole world at large
Our flag bled red, and white, and blue
I was proud of where I came from
I even joined to fight our foes
Until I grew a tad bit older
And more and more became exposed
About the lies, the crooks, the crimes
The power hungry minds
I found out freedom, was just a made up word
That was misleading by design
Happiness was no sure thing 
The struggle was too real
They taxed for greed
Not what we need
For our hungry, sick, and ill
So many lost and jaded
By what our government’s created
With false information and all rhetoric
That’s antiquated and outdated
Their lofty goals, revealed, exposed
Placating their ideals, for the voters polls
And as their power grows
Their true intention shows
Yet we sit silently complacent
Despite those that are opposed

The confessions of a self-critic
The one you can’t escape
That breathes in the same air as you
With every breathe you take
That stares into the mirror
Wondering when you’ll break
And laughs at your ineptitude
Because you can relate
The one that answers questions
With what you want to hear
That would rather stand in silence
Trembling in fear
Missing opportunities to share, with those that you hold dear
Not to mention not having any semblance
For a vocation or career
Constantly questioning your existence
And why it is your here
Crafting words to fit the narrative
Channeling your inner bard; Shakespeare
Not for things that wet your pallet
Greed is a sin you can avoid
You squint your eyes at the word hope
Because that theories already been destroyed
You’ll turn down your own mother
Suffering from a broken heart
Then throw a bunch of words down
Stand back and call it art
You’re selfish and you know it
Yet you’re reckless with self care
You’re too stubborn to change your life
Because you know you’re unprepared
Yet still you sit down on your ***
Too scared to even dare
Then complain that it’s too difficult
And state claim that life’s not fair
You’ve witnessed it
From your point of view
All the times you thought you knew
That life was not your choice to choose
So while you’re here
Why sing the blues
And walk around
Dazed and confused

Sometimes I wish I’d close my eyes
And not open them again
Left alone to navigate
How my time remaining will be spent
My light burns dim
My outlook’s grim
I see no future up ahead
I write these words, with a heavy heart
Laid up in my bed
There is no force that’s driving me
To get up and take part
Of the world we’re living in
Just to share my works of art
I create to feel relief
To add color to the grey
I see and feel inside myself
Almost every single day
I see rainbows in my mind
But the outcome stays the same
They highlight the good that’s left
In the corners of my brain
Sometimes there’s a *** of gold
But often times there’s not
It doesn’t even interest me
What I have and haven’t got
So I guess I’ll keep producing art
Until the air I breathe runs dry
Maybe then, I’ll get the answer to
The age-old question, why?

I’m an utter disappointment
A letdown through and through
I’ve meandered through existence
Avoiding my own truth
I stare into the mirror
As if I needed visual proof
Of a living, breathing, disaster
Of someone I thought I knew
Don’t reach out to me, I’m hopeless
I’ve been so since my youth
Wasting my short existence
I hope, will conclude at some point soon
I’m too cowardly to end it all
I’m just waiting for my cue
To take the plunge into eternity
And end my doom and gloom
All the fight has left me
I’m in a constant state of blue
With not much energy to speak of
I’ve lost the will to do
To explore the world with wonder
For a new perspective; point of view
Everything seems meaningless
I’m withdrawn, I withdrew
Nothing new that life can teach me
Unless forbidden or taboo
I’m void of any passion
Nothing to inspire too
I’m confused as to why I’m still on earth
Simply howling at the moon
Just as a crying baby would
Fresh out of the womb