Darkness Is A Blanket
It wraps me around
The smell of ominous uncertainty
Yet I’m allergic to being wrong
So my skin seems to puff up
My eyes turn bloodshot red
From all of the steam
That cleans out my gears
To move my rusty engine
That is odd
When I think of you
I feel a sharp pain
It’s where my heart used to reside
Before you snatched it
And pounded it
Tenderizing the love
I gave to you
Before you fed it
To the dogs,
Who tendon by tendon
Ripped my soul
From all of the movie nights
And all of the concerts
We use to venture off to
Now my artificial heart
Is asking my insides
Why is there this knot
In his chest.
Looking for answers
That escaped the camps
Through the tears of my eyes
Because darkness is a blanket
Called you

The boy with no words
Sitting in a doctors office
The words Autism was cast on him
Like the wizards in the books his mother reads him
This boy sees his mother
leaning on a wall for comfort as she screams
“Oh god why!”
The screams paint the walls
Doctors try to act like they feel her pain
Throwing around comforting words
Just so she could shut up
The doctors are embarrassed
Because other patients are looking
Shaken up like the soda cans
They crabbed from the lounge
The Boy just sits there
On the glossy floor, thinking
“Get up, we are missing Saturday cartoons”

Welcome to my programmed event
Here in the stadiums
That I built under my innocence
I've working on a new test,
A new subject

That subject is called her
I've been pulling
On a few of her strings
And tested her
To the limit of no return

Remember her?
Probably not
Because
She left that smile
In the waiting room
The one you saw
When You talked her
About Canadians waiting in line
You didn't realize
That I was a ticking time bomb
For her demise

The test are done
The lab is closed
And I am presenting a hypothesis
On how to break someones heart

Lets starts with if's and then's
If you scream ****** ******
Then you execute her buckets
That hold liquid pain
If you look closer
You will see that the patient
Will quiver due to her soul
Being electrocuted
From the shock therapy
That my words
Joyfully give off.

If you you repeat stuff
Then the patient's oils
Will leak off the face
Leaving the hollow,
Evacuated soul
Searching for survivors
In the damaged hearts

If you take her for granted
Then you will be alone
No one to watch movies with you
On a Friday night
No one to make you realize
How lucky you are

If you are alone
Then the oils
Will leak off your face
Leaving the hollow,
Evacuated soul
Searching for survivors
In the damaged hearts

I had these anchors holding my smile down
As I smell the last time you laid your head on this pillow
I curse the sky for your poison
That induced me into a coma of despair
All I am hypnotized to do is use this pillow
To capture all of the screams
That seem to escape my slippery mouth
All I can see is a bunch of why’s floating with no answers
I seem useless like a politician
These are the whys
Why I failed to make you fall asleep happy
Every night

Why do I bother to be perfect?
it seems that the more I try to be what you believe is me
the more I peel off the the pages of *******
and spread them with the ashes
Left by this city I burned down

Why can’t I see myself in the mirror?
My shadow trumps the room with anger
All of the lights,
All of the lights,
All of the lights,
Went away when I stole your switch
But my brain snitched and broke every stitch
Left by the bits of hate thrown your way.

Why oh Why
Do I still Blast your music?
Maybe if I drown my heart with this bass
I can forget the way you carried my soul with grace
Until I slapped your hands away,
Why do my hands still hurt?

Why do I see her when I close my eyes to blink?
Why am I writing this poem?
Its not like she will hear it
Over the words I carved into her
She can't read it
I blinded her with my demons
Why?
Why did I say that?

I left my fake smile
At my house
Next to my innocence
I hide my fears
In a locked cabinet
Near where I hold hate
The hate that makes the floorboards
Creek deep within the night
Trying not to wake up the past
So I can sneak a few handfuls of Cheerios
To help crave my selfishness
I want you to count
The dark circles around my eyes
The circles are like the center of a tree
The amount of circles counts up
To the last time I had imagination
Come play at my house
This house is nothing but a butterfly net
It captures all the beautiful things
That flap around my life