Laughter Flows through the room
Like the clouds slithering across this glooming sky

It’s odd
The calendar on my wall says its December
But I feel so warm right now
With all of these people
With all of the memories framed up around my house

As the night drew to a close
My friends bid me their farewells
So they can go back to their homes
All I was left with was this house

And you

Yes you

You sat there are on my couch
I could see it in your eyes that something was on your mind
And you ask me greatest question to ever pop up
On this gloomy December night.

“ I cant seem to solve you, who are you really?”
I turn confused scratching my head like a busted CD
The question kept repeating in my mind
“What is their to know about me?”
“Well…
You are funny and all but that's not what you always are?”
I sat down next to her and I said

Wanna know who I am?

I am the person everyone wants me to be
I smile big in front school pictures
I smile bigger and bigger when I am in the center of attention.
I’m emotionless when a deer is dead on the road.
I cry when celebrities die
And not when 14 citizens die from another bomber.
I vote not knowing both sides of each issue.

I do what people tell me to do
When they ask me how I’m doing
I hold a big smile and say
I’m pretty good

I’m an ******* who scares everyone
Who tries to be close to me away
Because under all of this laughter and this smile,
I’m controlling.
I’m afraid that you will be just like the others and leave me alone
Who scrape my heart with your car
So I grab and I squeeze
I don't want you to be like every other person that has stumbled into my life.

But I don't say any of that
instead I just say
“I'm just some guy”

Hey you
Can you grab a glass a water for me
Something is in my throat
tickling me like when you elbow my stomach
because I was tickling you too much under the soccer fields
the ones you played on as a kid

Can you grab me a glass of water
My throat feels like my heart is coming up my mouth
Twisting and squeezing and turning to escape my organs
Because my body, my mind, and my heart isn't good enough for you

Can you grab me a glass of water
I need to breath out all of the flames you created
Twisting my arm and shoving me in the room of sorrow
It's so dark in here because this battery you gave me is broken
You see you gave me more negatives than positives
Yet I still believed it would work
Because you said it would.

Can you grab me a glass of water
I need to wash my mouth
From all of the lies you have kissed in my mouth
Take it all back and shove it to all of the guys that you ****** for one night

Can you grab me a glass of water
So I can clear out any memories of you

I see this town from a far
sitting in the quiet car
the raindrops dripping on the window

Its been twenty weeks
Twenty weeks of procrastination, meeting new people,
and trying to forget what I used to be
I forgot why I saw on that see saw.

I pull up to a vacant house
the house that I once called a home
yet the monsters have scared my family away
I uncertainly opened the door
as I ponder about the idea that I may have went to the wrong house
“I swear I opened out my christmas presents here”
“I swear that these were the stairs that I trekked every school day”
The thunder the constant reminder that I am not dreaming
and this is my house
I start to switch up the lights to see the damage that the monsters have caused

I see my mother was ripped off of these flaky walls
and the wind blew her away
yet you can still see of her love hiding in the light
I see my brother and sister as been torn by this monster
there is a brick wall that separates them apart
you see they are divided
yet their souls are poking through the cracks trying see them again

I found my mom today
she is filling my gears up with her gossip
she tells me stories of the monsters eating people up

When I went to the grocery store to get food on tuesday
I saw one of my friends checking out
he told me he dropped out because
the college life was not for me
but all i see is that change scares him shitless
because if he changes then he has to deal with this town
this ******* town
He says he wants to go to France but he can't find the time
but all I hear are his comfort zone shrinking away to a pebble on the ground

When I was walking home I saw that one girl
whatshername
That one girl who kicked my shins and give me that letter
where did that letter go, I never got the chance to open it
She was that one girl I say picking petals of of that sunflower
but She looks different
the town tore her apart
she live in the past as I keep climbing into the future.

Now I climb into this car
to go back to my new home
yet I will never Photoshop the scares off of my past with this town
I live in this town
this town that has become a monster

I live in this Town
This ******* Town
I walk at night making these street lights my northern star
You see, the lights are point to the gas station near the high school
Because this is where my friends are

My friends welcome me with open arms
Because the see what I see
They hear what I hear
They think what I think

They see this town turning
They see that this town is no longer filled with opportunity
The tire swing is no longer there
It melted away like the rest of our dreams
The blue skies have gone away
All my friends see are the street lights loitering the gloomy roads.

My friends hear useless rumors
Rumbling in their rusty gears called boredom
School has imprisoned our creativity
And forced us to become a number in the standardization of this world
School told us that we can't all be astronauts.

I want to leave
This town is slowly putting chains on me.
I can see it in my older friends
They smoke cigarettes at the park were they used to swing their lives away.
Thank god I have college to swoop me up
and put me under her wings

But now before I fly away,
I see that girl who was kicking my shins in Elementary
School covered in the slums called darkness,
You see the Town took her spirit away
And now I can the monsters crawling out of the closets and roaming the streets

I live in this town
This town that holds my childhood memories
Like you holding my clueless hand at the City Hopkins dance.
You seemed to never let go
Like the grass that stains my Blue, Sky Jeans.

I live in this town
This town that hosted many little league baseball games,
Hosted many right fielders prancing around the blue skies
Picking dandelions off of the ground.
These right fielders are looking at the jet streams in the clear skies
Imagining the streams are people are launching into space.

That’s funny
Its crazier than their dreams
Which are sealed up in their own imaginations
Like the fairytales they read about.
Yet their dreams hold opportunities
Holding like my mom dragging me to the bus on the first day of school.

Heh School
A place where reality slowly kicks in
Notes are passed around with pencils being thrown at the ceiling like darts
The girl I've known since pre K gave me a note today
We used to swing on that tire swing near the golf course
But now she kicks my skins and accuses me of “cootieness”

Meanwhile she is sitting on the front porch
Picking petals off of a sunflower
Does he like me?
Does he like me not?
Does he like me?

I live in this Town
This town that holds many monsters in the closet
Although on the outside of the story shows tinker bell shedding her pixie dust
If you flip through the pages
You will fall down the rabbit hole.

These pillars that we call skyscrapers
Stretch to the skies looking for the gods that rest upon these clouds
Yet all I see are these prisons bars hiding the mountains.
This concrete jungle is trying to persuade me that
Only my dreams could touch the sky
Not my oily fingers that paint the pollution in the skies.

I need to escape,
LA lied to me
They told me that beauty is within the actors and artist
They are the stereotypes that run this city

I need to move east
Move to the Rockies
The mountains that cut deep within these clouds.
There will be the place that I flirt with immortality

Airline ticket in hand, I knew I was not going to come back
I knew when I smelt the Colorado air.
This air that is so new
Untouched by man
And unseen by the models from LA

I tracked towards the mountains on a trail
This trail is the golden compass that many men traveled on
As old ruins of ghost towns sit intertwined with mother nature
Teaching us that man will die and mother nature will go on.

I reached a lake
12,000 Feet above the city slickers and the cameras
Painted with the strokes that no artist can brush
I can't brush off the unexplainable feeling
Of not hearing a single person.
Although this wooden sign says that that I am at Nolan Lake
I still believe that I am in heaven.
Clouds roll over the Mountains to greet me.
Tears roll off of my cheeks
And create this waterfall
That crashes onto the base of the valley
Surrounded by the Titans called Mountains

My heart is clean
My mind is calm
My hands are moist by gods tears of joy.
I am happy

Scream’s stains these walls,
Throwing around words that we don’t mean.
Storming down the stairs
Saying things that give me chills down my spine,
Please don’t do that.
These men in blue come into the house.
Screams of pain are thrown from them
Detaining the animal you have become.