Fear rising because I'm about to share my inner most thoughts
Sweating because I've never done this before
It's about to be my own personal score and the symphony of my vocals hit the stage
Reading off the page
I think my first poem I performed was "God"
Yeah that was it
You know at the time I didn't really have a name for myself
A in the closet artist tryna barter for some release
As I stand backstage amazed at the support I'm getting I think man this is amazing
Finally sharing my words
But the host asked me what's your stage name
I look at him like ***** I'm Jasmyn...the name my mama gave me
But then I think oh snap I don't have a stage name
A name for people to remember me by
So my thoughts fly with nothing
As my heart races as the host of the show says my name
He screams here comes Ladi J and I was like oh snap there it is
Ladi J was born
And just like my real name is spelled different
J-A-S-M-Y-N I had to make my stage name the same so remember Ladi J was born as...
L-A-D-I-J

As I ride along on a beautiful day
Windows down
Eyes on the road
Concentrated on where I am going
The situations of the day blow away
They even go out the sunroof
Even moving to God's ear
And somehow my cares aren't there anymore
So I love to ride along
Windows down
Feeling like I have a crown on my head
Sending all bad thoughts to bed
That sun is beaming down making my forehead red cuz u kno I'm light skinned
All my hurts of the day are mended when I ride with the windows down

Determination is part motivation and part support
Motivation to do tasks yourself
Motivation from your family
But what do those people do when they don't have
You know the motivation the black panthers had to fight the power
The motivation that Martin had to to have a dream
The motivation that rosa had not to move
The motivation that Harriet had to move slaves to freedom
The motivation that slaves had to work all day picking cotton but still sang those ***** spirituals to get them through the day
Motivation leading to determination that a race won't be held down by anyone
But I wonder where that is today...

The man that lives under me
He's like the singing boogie man
It's like clock work at 7 am I hear him kick up his vocal cords
Words that don't cut like a two edge sword cuz the Word is the ultimate truth
Sometimes I feel like I'm in the sound booth w/ him
Hearing every note and rift
I mean he did warn me he was a singer
But I wasn't ready for this ringer at 7am
Sometimes it feels like an army of a thousand men under my bed
Sound waves moving towards my head bringing me out of my precious slumber
Blunder
Shaking
Oh why must this man wake me at 7am
I didn't ask for this
I'm not a morning person
But forreal I can't even be mad cuz he sounds like Frank Sinatra  
"I'll Never Smile Again" on a good day maybe
Maybe I'll say something
Maybe I won't
But I don't know if I can continue to be woken up at 7am

As I redirect myself to a ebon place
A place where I can balance myself
Cuddle in the arms of silence so I can hear what needs to be said to bring me back to my normal equilibrium
Muddle each thought as they pass through my brain
Put them in a zip drive folder
Nice and neat
No slumps or goosebumps
Smooth surface
Cuz we all one day need to find a purpose
No more flapping in the wind
A contributor to society
Making people feel some variety about you
Jus like a variety pack of chocolate
You amaze them every time they pull something out of the bag
Cuz maybe you will drag some confidence within you
So sometimes you gotta redirect yourself to a ebon place
A place where you can balance yourself
Bring your emotion back to equality
Quality in your actions
We all lose our balance sometimes
You it's okay
Even the best of them went astray
I'll continue to go to my ebon place
Even tho it's dark here cuz that means there is room for some light to come in

I lay here open
Open to possibilities and opportunities that present themselves for me with you
But i Can't seem to break through this wall I have put up
A wall made jus for me to protect and keep me from harmful situations
Many contemplations about how am I gonna get through this again
So I kept building and building on my personal wall
Yeah see I built this wall with pain over and over and over  
A lil dab of betrayal
A pinch of some scorn
Oh and shovel full of layers of scar tissue covered with stitches for recovery
Yeah I built this wall meticulously
I would sometimes feel like I'm a guest
Sometimes like an outsider in my own skin
Moving along like a night rider
Nobody seeing me or believing me
So I carry some heavy footgear
Holding them in my rear stow away I use it to move along through life without any scars, or that's what I try to do
This footgear feels great because I can stomp, jump, and even do cartwheels over all my enemies
Ancient conviction
Shindy misleadings all leading up to my success
Leaving me blessed
Riding along this pack train saying hello mufasa and simba
Oh and rifiki is there
What's up....
See I admire their strength and agility
I even know who continues to keep me
A higher power and His name is Jesus
Love Him to pieces
But someone came outta nowhere
Out From left field Try to catch the Foul ball
Jumping over bases and even some left field men
Trying to Break through my wall
Shining some light on my night rider journey
Complicated feelings taking many meanings
My head is spinning
Fear rising...leaving me paralyzed even though I still feel your touch when I'm away from you
I'm scared...even some what terrified that I lie here and all I can think of is you
Wondering if my brain waves can send out a signal over to you so that you know how I feel
See night riders they don't open up
Staying closed
Sign on the door...
No more customers...the day is over
See We ride in the dark
Trying to keep feelings secret
A loner when it comes to sharing emotions
Commotion on the inside but calm on the outside
But maybe you can be my knight in shinning amour breaking down my walls
Chipping and chipping away through all the dust and the rumble
I may even stumble over you but at least I'll be in your arms
Feeling safe through your touch that even peels away some of the hurt
So right now I may be a night rider but I'm moving towards the horizon that is the beginning of some light

If I stand before you and tell you how I truly feel would you feel, act, and do the same things you do

Would you love me the same way you do?

Hold me the same way you do?

Touch me the same way you do?

All I’m doin is bein honest

Hey you want an honest chick but I don’t wanna be a total *****

But I stand before you…here to proclaim the truth…

You don’t do what you say I should do

Isn’t this a two-way street?

We stand here together

Two intertwined beings

Wanting to be with each other

My fellow brother

But you seem to be a hypocrite…not sticking to your script

Yea you talk a lot of spit but do you have some substance behind it

Baby don’t get it twisted I’m just a witness to your non- intentional hurting games

I still love you and there is no earthy man that I want to put above you but can you come down to where I stand

A one on one land where I see us on one page…one stage

Performing the same script

No lines missed so I can kiss…

These non-spoken hurts that I don’t want to be carried out on a hearse with no hello or good bye but resurrected through our lips so that you can understand the sway of my hips and where I’m coming from

A place where I want no lies

Where you and I have an understanding to where our two crazy worlds meet and there are combining streets…people wave and say hello…no cold shoulder…no putting up boulders

So I’m trying to say I am here for you and you are here for me

No unspoken words

Don’t keep telling me your hurting and you have a lot on your mind but never say anything

Tell me all of your hurts and desires

I don’t care how it’s put

Slam it on the tables

No myths or fables

All non-fiction

This addiction I have for you cannot be based on unspoken words

I won’t have that

I just want the key to your heart and this true love thing can truly start

So open up your heart baby there are too many unspoken words here

That is not what I want my dear

This needs to be a land where we spill out everything

My junk spilled into yours

Bleeding out of the pores of our hurts, wants and desires

So let this fire of words be spurred

All I want is theses unspoken words to be heard