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when I looked for answers
   you said to be careful
   you said that my faith
was in peril when questioned
you mentioned
   that my "search for truth" was in error
   that all that awaits
is a terrible lesson
you said without God
   there can be no forgiveness
   that evil within us
would go unabated
you stated
   that people were eager to live in
   an unashamed place
that was morally vacant

your liqueur stenched breath
poured past dark yellow teeth
thick with cigarette stains
and your eyes full of grief
as you pleaded with me
to be careful
when I looked
for answers
What is lovely in a world
of splintered wood and faded golden rings,
stained glass and tarnished silver,
hearts, antiques, and other broken things?

What may have been discarded in the past
Now shines to brilliantly to perish,
not alone in longing to be loved
and dying to be cherished.
Take a sip, my dear, this tonic brings
about a deeper sleep and brighter dreams,
  and in the morning light when you awake
      life's song shall sing anew,
      and dawn will bring to you
  a freedom from your fright, from your mistake,
and yes, the ache that tears from you your soul
shall drift away, and almost leave you whole.
You're not your body.
You're not your mind.
You're not your own,
and you are not mine

I'm not my heart,
my fleeting mirth,
my hidden tears,
my death, my birth.

We're not the world's
and it's not ours.
We can not own
the earth and flowers.
We can't sell the groves of trees,
we can't buy the land and seas.

Yet our hands build cities,
and our hands spill blood.
Our greed yields envy
while our hearts seek love.

Let us hope
that someday, we
can let it go
and simply be.
I've found myself in a place of supreme peace recently, and it came from the realization that nothing is really ours.  Even our bodies, minds and thoughts are simply tools we can sharpen and use to some purpose, but they aren't ours.  They're just close to home.  Then it becomes clear that this box of tools is calling the shots, drawing the blueprints of our lives, my tricking us into thinking we are the tools themselves, and we get caught up in this cycle of endless wants, this attachment to possessions because we somehow think that identifying with property will make us happy.  None of that's true.

What's left when all those things disappear, and we've nothing left to own?  Love and compassion.  Everything else is just an instrument to spread that love.
i slept
  for twenty years and then awoke to wonder why.

i fell asleep for twenty more,
  awoke, let out a sigh,

then slept again for thirty five more years.
  now here i lie,

a man who slept my whole whole life through, i lay awake
  to die.
The great oak doesn't wonder
  what it means to be a tree.
It simply grips the earth
  and reaches boldly to the sky.

The water simply flows
  to seek reunion with the sea.
Be it a river or a creek,
  it doesn't stop to question why.

What, then, am I?
 Oct 2013 Jasmine Martin
jd
Touch
 Oct 2013 Jasmine Martin
jd
when we first
met
your hands were still
and unoteable

when we fell
in love
your hands were
in mine
on my lips
in my hair
all over my skin

now
they are wrapped around
my throat

and I wonder
if it is any different
 Oct 2013 Jasmine Martin
ethyreal
You breathed gin.
This is blood for you.
Your hands held your hair and your eyes shut.
The alcohol lulled your brain to black.

It escaped your veins,
Diluted by 37.5% truth serum.

Gasping at the
Divine realisation
Where slurred lips
Contradicted
Your once straight-faced,
Certainly-certain speakings
Of your very crooked lie.

So crooked, it wound his heart around yours.
But that ball of yarn unravelled in an instant.
And the jumper you knit together,
Came apart
Stitch by stitch.

In my fogged memory,
I had choked myself that night
With a bottle and a ball of yarn.
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.

English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.

English Teeth, HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.
 Oct 2013 Jasmine Martin
McClain
Who decides life is not worth it?
You?
God?
When you reach this point, questioning living, breathing, you play god.
You feel your mind make,
take,
break
and create
new processes never felt before; a process of passion,
confusion, contradiction and confession.
You strive just by the thought of not surviving.
The
downfall
of a
suicidal
mind.

Painfully and buried deep down the impulses slip out.
Screams for hopes, answers, connections, positive aspirations.
Constantly wondering is this it?
Is this the end?
That your life can never peek again,
so the result of your collapse is an
eternal slumber with the devil by your side.
Whispering in your ear telling you about the ache
and sorrow your sinking heart and conscience feel.
An eternal hell. An eternal anguish, torment, suffering.
Do you stay in the hell on earth or hell in the after life?
You examine all the details
over and over
only thinking of your lonely pitiful life.
Meaningless and outrageous.
Screams moving around trying to get out but only
bouncing back inside of you to find
the little nothingness in which they are in seek of.  
Literally, are taking you in and cutting you into
the smallest treads as possible over and over.
Never letting up to give the one underneath a second break.
Pounding as hard as possible.
Thudding and pulling, twisting and hurting.
Neither end nor good.
You can feel the over whelming sense of your corruption
taking you headfirst and choking your every last breath off.
Cutting it away like a river being eroded by things we cannot control.
Your life you cannot control.
People you cannot control.
You see the only outlet in your mind
but it burdens you with insanity behind it.
Taking life; your own life.
The reasons are bliss.
Sweet tender resolutions freeze
over your tempered thoughts,
fragile thoughts of a
suicidal.
Unaware of the footprint left behind.
Your stomach churns,
stirs
and confusion
sets in once again.
You feel ***** rising in your
throat about to implode
but it’s just an illusion created
in your mind;
hallucinations.
Questions are still increasing
their intensity and passion.
With every moment of aloneness and isolation,
the time ticks away from you until you feel as though
you will fly into a rage.
You take a deep breath;
intense thoughts.
Questioning right verses wrong;
life verses death;
now or never.
Take a step back
and pull the trigger;
welcome to the end.
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