never wanting to watch another romantic movie again
because i watch for you

listening to the same song on repeat for an entire day
because i listen for you

writing poetry on paper until my hand hurts
because i write for you

staying in bed and crying all day
because i cry for you

rereading everything we've ever written to each other
because i am afraid to forget you

not knowing what to do next
because i cant live without you

dust begins to collect
frequent cleanings are nothing but memories of the past
your possessions remain
relics of what once existed

what happened to
the unbreakable bond
your endless creativity
my deceitful beauty
how can such things deteriorate so quickly

and now we sit
legs crossed
naked
in so many forms
clinging on to the past
analyzing all uncertainties
wondering of the true capability
of change
of resolution
of depth

the way things were
reminiscing
infinite romance
joyous love
unscathed hope

we are the storm

and now we find ourselves
right where we started
longing for love
lusting for something lasting
neither of which led us here

we both know
it will never
it can never
the bond
irreversible
unstoppable

one question lingers
as it always has
for days
for weeks
for years
decades slip by so quickly

one thing is for certain
nothing lasts forever
but
*nothing ever fades

it is hard to stay awake
dreams so bleak
wash down your sins
spit up hope again
it is so funny, you know
life through a kaleidoscope
hearty to pray (prey?)
desperate to weep
a day, a month, a year gone by
the cry of desires never die
except ambivalence
accept the lie
craft the trade
filling your dose
delightfully anesthetic
denial of company
take off
but do not forget to bleed
or was it, be?

THE RIVER IS FULL
BUT SO ARE YOUR EYES.

ambient noise
juniper berries dancing along
comfort dissipates
new age olds
the red light flashes
lung discomfort
anonymity of the soul
one shade too grey
cushion your needs
do not let it go to your head
i find it hard to blink
yet alone breathe.

cruise chaos
brine lips
delicacy is a blessing
shame a hope
when wheels stick
i will still follow you
black or blue
steeps for weaks
weeping bridges
the destination never changes
but my smile does.

ready.
set.
fight.

all the things you say you will do
all the things you don't

all the ways you are different from two
all the ways you arent

all the words you convey so well
all the ones you choke

all the promises of whats to come
all the doubt they provoke

fearful of falling into the same rut
scared of how this will play out

i cannot express myself more clearly
i cannot communicate anymore than i am

you want my voice
you want my opinion
then listen when i tell it to you

no no no
not just listen
react appropriately.

until then.
ill be waiting

four wheels
gliding gracefully along the surface
holding hands and displaying large grins
echos of jokes and secret tellings and laughs

most often referred to as rink
typically filled with jovial adolescents
birthday parties and family outings
weekend afternoons
coaxing is often a requirement

the freedom to move without lifting a foot
who needs to walk, skip, or jump
when you can roll, roll, roll

you crossover
i stumble
you move backwards
i fall
my legs are bruised
as is my ego
yet
i cannot stop smiling

nostalgia at it's finest
memories of lock ins
hokey pokies
limbos
races to the death

it has never been so much fun to get hurt
it seems as though time has worn on me
im no longer an elastic young girl
don't tell me that, though.

permeate throughout my palette
worthless toothbrush
useless mouthwash
the bad taste you have left never seems to fade

pervading throughout my nasal cavity
ineffective tissue
pointless sniffle
the sickening smell of yours does not dissipate with time

imbued remnants of a touch
meaningless baths
wasted soap
my skin still crawls from our contact

a lingering voice provoking auditory aches
cotton swabs provide no relief
an inserted finger only jabs away
i feel as though my ears are bleeding

you have left me with something i wish not to have
you have shaken my senses and there is no going back
i no longer have control of these basic instincts
instead i have fallen victim to the havoc you've wreaked

how i long not to experience any of these things.